Wednesday, December 31, 2003

'Kudeta' in bali


'Kudeta' in bali
Originally uploaded by Through the looking glass, darkly.

An upscale restaurant-cum-pub called "Kudeta" (Bahasa Indonesia's spelling of coup-de-tat) by the coast in Bali. My aunt, who's been living in Bali for nearly 20 years now, took us around. This place was so posh that there were more Western foreigners than Indonesians.

I love the lanterns they placed to illuminate the parking ground. (Will post more lantern pictures :D)

Sunset in bali


Sunset in bali
Originally uploaded by Through the looking glass, darkly.

This picture was taken in GWK Park, Bali, in December 2003. My family visited Bali for a day.. (a day??!!). One of my favorite pictures to remember.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Angst. Problem. Analysis. Solutions.
A friend once sneered at blogs, dismissing them as 'blobs of angst written by sweet young things'. Well, although the last part isn't true in my case, the first definitely seems to be the order of the day. Angst.

I followed the blog entitled Sancta Sanctis with interest, and her earnest endeavor to embrace a more religious life simply astounds me. Not to mention she writes so elegantly and with so much devotion to God. In my life, similar threads of events occurred lately; I suspect it must be the works of, in Enbrethiliel's words, my own guardian angel. From things like awakening of what i call the 'spiritual intellect', to getting my life in order, these events 'reek' of divine intervention. And i'm flailing. Hopelessly flailing and failing.

Not only my religious life is shabby (it used to be non-existent, I believe), other things in life are screaming for attention. For once, I could find a functional use for a blog such as these. When thoughts are written down, they're easier to sort. At least I hope so.

So, getting back to things to be put in priority queue, they include:

  1. My religious life -- beginning of my interest in Catholic apologetics
  2. My relationship -- the shabby way I treat my kind 'special friend'
  3. My work -- my thesis, my budding business idea, and my work
  4. My interpersonal relations -- the ungracious, not-so-sociable me
  5. Last but not least, my family! "Out of sight, out of mind" -- i hope this won't be my motto

Surveying people around my age and station in life, it will not be surprising to find that the above things are simply common concerns in life to be put in order. Why am i flailing? Often my pride gets in the way of acknowledging that i'm in trouble in a big way... i guess success has been a lousy teacher. One such as myself need to begin taking 'hard knocks' to nudge life back on track. And where am I going? I have been posed this question, and I have evaded answering it. But here goes, in no particular order (i know to some this is the biggest problem!):

  • Having a spiritually rich life with inner peace of God
  • Building excellent interpersonal relations and leadership skills
  • Building a successful business
  • Having a happy family
  • Build a business in Africa, if i can

*Phew* There. I got them listed. For once in many years. Now it's time to reflect on a plan, and which stage I am in the blueprint. So what's my plan?

  • Get my room cleaned
  • Get my work back on track
  • Start learning about businesses and the industry I'm interested
  • Keep looking out for new ideas
  • Read the right things
  • Discipline myself to stick with my spiritual regime (i'm beginning to miss my primary school's regular mass...)
  • Work on my relationship with people
  • Pray more
  • Reflect more
  • Plan for long-term goals
  • Update my plans as frequently as I can

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Novena to the Divine Mercy
Ninth Day
"Today bring to Me SOULS WHO HAVE BECOME LUKEWARM, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. These souls wound My Heart most painfully. My soul suffered the most dreadful loathing in the Garden of Olives because of lukewarm souls. They were the reason I cried out: 'Father, take this cup away from Me, if it be Your will.' For them the last hope of salvation is to run to My mercy."

Most Compassionate Jesus, You are Compassion Itself. I bring lukewarm souls into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart. In this fire of Your pure love let these tepid souls, who, like corpses, filled You with such deep loathing, be once again set aflame. O Most Compassionate Jesus, exercise the omnipotence of Your mercy and draw them into the very ardor of You love, and bestow upon them the gift of holy love, for nothing is beyond Your power.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon lukewarm souls who are nonetheless enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Father of Mercy, I beg You by the bitter Passion of Your Son and by His three-hour agony on the Cross: Let them, too, glorify the abyss of Your mercy. Amen.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Feast of our Lady of Guadalupe, December 12.
I first heard of the name "Guadalupe" a few years back. As a nominal Catholic back then, it held no particular meaning, nor does it arouse interest for me. Recently, since my attendance at Catholic apologetics session, I have 'stumbled' (in a sense) upon a huge treasure of patron saints, especially when it comes to the pro-life movement.

Our Lady of Guadalupe appeared in a small town in Mexico, which now became known as Guadalupe, named after the image left on the tilma following Her apparition. She is known as the Protectress of the Unborn.

I think my stand on the issue of abortion, as a Catholic, have been too silent. A silent pro-lifer is as good as a pro-choice. “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”(Edmund Burke)

Looking towards our Lady of Guadalupe, I shall strive be more aware of the people around me, and how i can be a more active pro-lifer.
Novena to the Divine Mercy
Eighth Day
"Today bring to Me THE SOULS WHO ARE DETAINED IN PURGATORY, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. Let the torrents of My Blood cool down their scorching flames. All these souls are greatly loved by Me. They are making retribution to My justice. It is in your power to bring them relief. Draw all the indulgences from the treasury of My Church and offer them on their behalf. Oh, if you only knew the torments they suffer, you would continually offer for them the alms of the spirit and pay for their debt to My justice."

Most Merciful Jesus, You Yourself have said that You desire mercy; so I bring into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls in Purgatory, souls who are very dear to You, and yet, who must make retribution to Your justice. May the streams of Blood and Water which gushed forth from Your Heart put out the flames of Purgatory, that there, too, the power of Your mercy may be celebrated.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls suffering in Purgatory, who are enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. I beg You, by the sorrowful Passion of Jesus Your Son, and by all the bitterness with which His most sacred Soul was flooded: Manifest Your mercy to the souls who are under Your just scrutiny. Look upon them in no other way but only through the Wounds of Jesus, Your dearly beloved Son; for we firmly believe that there is no limit to Your goodness and compassion. Amen.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Recently I looked up the feast days that fall on my birthday. And guess what? The Presentation of the Lord and Purification of Mary actually both fall on the same date, my birthday, February 2! Sometimes I ponder upon the significance of having the honor of being born during that feast day. What does it mean for me? Am i being reminded constantly to watch over my purity? To remember that our bodies, are temples of the Holy Spirit, and need to kept pure to the last day?
Novena to the Divine Mercy
Seventh Day
"Today bring to Me THE SOULS WHO ESPECIALLY VENERATE AND GLORIFY MY MERCY, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls sorrowed most over my Passion and entered most deeply into My spirit. They are living images of My Compassionate Heart. These souls will shine with a special brightness in the next life. Not one of them will go into the fire of hell. I shall particularly defend each one of them at the hour of death."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose Heart is Love Itself, receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who particularly extol and venerate the greatness of Your mercy. These souls are mighty with the very power of God Himself. In the midst of all afflictions and adversities they go forward, confident of Your mercy; and united to You, O Jesus, they carry all mankind on their shoulders. These souls will not be judged severely, but Your mercy will embrace them as they depart from this life.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls who glorify and venerate Your greatest attribute, that of Your fathomless mercy, and who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls are a living Gospel; their hands are full of deeds of mercy, and their hearts, overflowing with joy, sing a canticle of mercy to You, O Most High! I beg You O God: Show them Your mercy according to the hope and trust they have placed in You. Let there be accomplished in them the promise of Jesus, who said to them that during their life, but especially at the hour of death, the souls who will venerate this fathomless mercy of His, He, Himself, will defend as His glory. Amen.
Novena to the Divine Mercy
Sixth Day
"Today bring to Me THE MEEK AND HUMBLE SOULS AND THE SOULS OF LITTLE CHILDREN, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. Only the humble soul is capable of receiving My grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence."

Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, "Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart." Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek and humble souls and the souls of little children. These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father's favorites. They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God Himself takes delight in their fragrance. These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they unceasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek souls, upon humble souls, and upon little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son. Their fragrance rises from the earth and reaches Your very throne. Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Novena to the Divine Mercy
Fifth Day
"Today bring to Me THE SOULS OF THOSE WHO HAVE SEPARATED THEMSELVES FROM MY CHURCH, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. During My bitter Passion they tore at My Body and Heart, that is, My Church. As they return to unity with the Church My wounds heal and in this way they alleviate My Passion."

Most Merciful Jesus, Goodness Itself, You do not refuse light to those who seek it of You. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Church. Draw them by Your light into the unity of the Church, and do not let them escape from the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart; but bring it about that they, too, come to glorify the generosity of Your mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Son's Church, who have squandered Your blessings and misused Your graces by obstinately persisting in their errors. Do not look upon their errors, but upon the love of Your own Son and upon His bitter Passion, which He underwent for their sake, since they, too, are enclosed in His Most Compassionate Heart. Bring it about that they also may glorify Your great mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

Novena to the Divine Mercy
Fourth Day
"Today bring to Me THOSE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD AND THOSE WHO DO NOT YET KNOW ME. I was thinking also of them during My bitter Passion, and their future zeal comforted My Heart. Immerse them in the ocean of My mercy."

Most Compassionate Jesus, You are the the Light of the whole world. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who do not believe in God and of those who as yet do not know You. Let the rays of Your grace enlighten them that they, too, together with us, may extol Your wonderful mercy; and do not let them escape from the abode which is Your Most Compassionate Heart.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who do not believe in You, and of those who as yet do not know You, but who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Draw them to the light of the Gospel. These souls do not know what great happiness it is to love You. Grant that they, too, may extol the generosity of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

Novena to the Divine Mercy
Third Day
"Today bring to Me ALL DEVOUT AND FAITHFUL SOULS, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. These souls brought Me consolation on the Way of the Cross. They were that drop of consolation in the midst of an ocean of bitterness."

Most Merciful Jesus, from the treasury of Your mercy, You impart Your graces in great abundance to each and all. Receive us into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart and never let us escape from It. We beg this grace of You by that most wondrous love for the heavenly Father with which Your Heart burns so fiercely.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon faithful souls, as upon the inheritance of You Son. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, grant them Your blessing and surround them with Your constant protection. Thus may they never fail in love or lose the treasure of the holy faith, but rather, with all the hosts of Angels and Saints, may they glorify Your boundless mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Novena to the Divine Mercy
Second Day
"Today bring to Me THE SOULS OF PRIESTS AND RELIGIOUS, and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave Me strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them as through channels My mercy flows out upon mankind."

Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in men and women consecrated to Your service, that they may perform worthy works of mercy; and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the company of chosen ones in Your vineyard--upon the souls of priests and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of Your Son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Novena to the Divine Mercy
First Day
"Today bring to Me ALL MANKIND, ESPECIALLY ALL SINNERS, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Another color-trivia-test.... (argh- the exams are testing my concentration powers too much!):


The Storm
Blustering through the world with the finesse of a thunderstorm, this personality is a natural leader, a natural creator of consensus. The Storm personality will often plan out the future in deliberate and at times frustrating detail. This ability to create and to plan is sometimes expressed as a facility for the telling of tall tales….

The Storm is always concerned with both strategy and tactics. A trip to the store is met with as much deliberation as a military assault on a small Central American country. Because of this attitude, friends of the Storm personality often find themselves assigned tasks or roles within the group. This can be very useful when action is called for and equally annoying when the idea at hand is rest and relaxation.

(from http://www.colorgenics.com)

Monday, November 17, 2003

Prayer to Guardian Angel

Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
To whom God's love
commits me here,
Ever this day,
be at my side,
To light and guard,
Rule and guide.

Amen.
Student’s Prayer Before Study

by St. Thomas Aquinas

Ineffable Creator,
Who, from the treasures of Your wisdom
have established three hierarchies of angels,
have arrayed them in marvelous order
above the fiery heavens,
and have marshaled the regions
of the universe with such artful skill,

You are proclaimed
the true font of light and wisdom,
and the primal origin
raised high beyond all things.

Pour forth a ray of Your brightness
into the darkened places of my mind;
disperse from my soul
the twofold darkness
into which I was born:
sin and ignorance.

You make eloquent the tongue of infants.
Refine my speech
and pour forth upon my lips
the goodness of Your blessing.

Grant to me
keenness of mind,
capacity to remember
skill in learning,
subtlety to interpret,
and eloquence in speech.

May You
guide the beginning of my work,
direct its progress,
and bring it to completion.

You Who are true God and True Man.
Who live and reign, world without end

Amen

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

found this off catholicanalysis.blogspot.com:
this guy's sharp!

Of course, some are troubled by the good news of young, highly qualified, and orthodox seminarians enthusiastic about their vocations as future priests. As the article notes, liberals are worried:


[S]ome worry their moral certitude may create rifts with those who ignore Rome's teachings on church attendance, sex, birth control and divorce and who are increasingly vocal in their demand for a role in church governance.


This observation is quite revealing. Why would "some" be worried about the orthodoxy of future priests? Well, we all know the answer: because "some" reject orthodox Catholic belief and are intent on undermining orthodox belief. One sociologist--a specialty that I firmly believe no thinking person would miss if it disappeared entirely from the academic world--opines that there is a worrisome "generational divide in the U.S. priesthood." It is a blessing that such a generational divide exists precisely because the earlier generation of priests is riddled with so many false vocations. For it is indeed a false vocation when a priest does not pass on the moral teachings of the Church to his flock. Woe to such a priest or bishop or cardinal on the day of judgment because much will be demanded of him to whom much has been given. I, for one, welcome this generational divide in the priesthood and am happy that the mortality statistics favor the newer, orthodox generation of clergy.

(emphasis mine)

I'm personally quite worried about the Church's leadership after John Paul II passes on... Under his leadership the Church "settled down" and it took on a new vibrancy. Would his successor be similarly courageous to uphold the Church's teachings fully knowing that teachings may not be popular with the people?

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

I've been reading up on catholic teachings lately. there seem to be God's calling recently, for me to pick up where i shelved my faith. some people asked me what faith I practise. Although it's natural to say I'm Catholic, I often find myself at loss to defend my faith from the hatred of those who hate what they thought is the Catholic Church. Attended classes, started reading .. erhmm.. encyclicals :p *blush* It is quite embarrassing to say this as a Catholic...

Anyway, "Humanae Vitae" is one remarkable encyclical by Pope Paul VI, issued as the church's official response to abortion and contraception. Here's the link.

In the process of reading Veritatis Splendor. Insightful.

Monday, October 27, 2003

early morning quiz.

What Irrational Number Are You?
You are φ

Of all the irrational numbers, you are considered to be the most beautiful. Those who know you well have called you by many names, all golden. However, most people don't know you by name and probably won't even recognize you by sight, but they do like to see you. Despite your pretty face, you are by no means shallow. You are involved it many things: finance, biology, architecture, art, music, and much more.

In some ways you and e are a nearly perfect match. The power and intensity of e excites you.

Your lucky number is approximately 1.61803399

Shiny Lemur
Straif's Blog

Friday, October 24, 2003

"i felt stagnation in the air." i'm not sure how true this statement is gramatically, but i sure feels that way right now. suddenly i found myself seeking for 'alternative' kind of readings that my reading diet has completely changed. Developing economies. ICT Business in developing countries. Sustainability. Innovation. Writing business plans.

Hmm.. if someone tells me i'd be doing all this around this time last year I am skeptical.. but here I am. Plunging right through.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Had chinese dim sum for lunch with my sister today. Bad dim sum! alright.. so it wasn't thaaat bad. It was the 2nd worst dim sum i've ever had. The worst was in this little shop across beauty world. All the best dim sum meals i've had were in Indonesia. Somehow i felt over here, they have lost the 'art' of making dim sum. Or enjoying it, for that matter.

Speaking of dim sums, it brings up the topic of Chinese-ness. Yeah, Chinese-ness. I am Chinese by birth and that's where it stops. Yet, my way of life, my diet, my way of thought belies a very deep root. This is something I cannot deny. I have met many of my fellow Indonesians of Chinese heritage, who have completely lost that 'Chinese-ness' of theirs. It is disturbing; for what is lost has not been made up by a new identity. This group of people is growing in numbers as more Indonesian youngsters find it unnatural to retain any Chinese identity they had from birth.

What about me? I would argue that my loyalty, my heart, lies nowhere but in Indonesia. Yet the deep root cannot be unrooted. Nor do I want it to be. Chinese is what I am born as, what I am inside. But who I am to the world is for me to decide.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

What I realised today is that I'm not very verbose when my mind is troubled. Short, short post just to get it out of my system. Just realised also, that my comment feature wasn't displayed when i changed the layout template. Not that anyone posts any comment though since no one knows who is this neurotic publishing blogs :p

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

i never thought there'll be a day where i'll commiserate my heart out into a ... blog. Sigh.

Today i know how a rubber sheet must have felt when it is being stretched thin in all directions.. cos' being pulled in all directions is what i'm feeling right now. everybody demands something from me. everybody puts a deadline on me. i try to take comfort by thinking that, I harvest for God, and today the harvest is plenty!

Gosh, what wouldn't I give to just sit back and rest in the house where You dwell =)

But no, i won't give up just yet. Retreat for now, fight another day!
It's 2.30am, i'm still quite awake... very excited about learning how to write a business plan! Well, for you out there whose background is as technical as me (I'm an engineering student, by the way), there's hope yet!

Health-wise, not good. Not good at all, when you've been up working ovenight during the weekend, and suffering from various digestive ailment... =( It's late at night and i'm hungry. The smell of somebody's soup and toast wafted up to my room...

My project on Africa has finally been finalised! I'm writing a business plan for information technology venture in Africa. Since this is my first attempt doing something business-like, I'll start with industrial analysis and market research first, followed by (if i have time) a bigger business plan. Some useful sites on Africa's state of technology:
Acacia Initiative and Global Digital Divide Initiative

Sunday, October 05, 2003

I can't play this Song (David Gates)

Looking at your picture
Lying on my bed
Wishing I was holding close the real you instead
I dunno what I said or did but girl I'm missing you
And I'd like to hear my music
But there's nothing that I can listen to cos..

I can't play the songs I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling starts before the intro's halfway through
Everyone reminds me of the things we used to do together
I can't go to places that I used to take you to
Cos everywhere the faces there they all look just like you
Until your heart comes back where it belongs...
I can't play this song

Everywhere I'm driving
I go a different way
I can't turn on my radio...afraid what they might play
My frens all drive me crazy cos you're all they ask about
And while I live in silence
But they just don't understand without you

I can't play the songs I used to play becos of you
The lonesome feeling starts before the intro's halfway through
No one can replace you cos once I tried and even when I
Try to go with someone new you're so deep in head
I look into her eyes but i say your name instead
Until your heart comes back where it belongs...
I can't play this song

There's nothing left I can do cos i'm so lost in love with you
No where to turn...no place to run
You know you're my only one

I can't play the songs you used to sing along with me
Cos everyone is always bringing back the memories
Until your heart comes back where it belongs...
I can't play this song

Thursday, October 02, 2003

This week is hectic. Truly hectic! Two sundays ago I was watching Wild Rice Theatre's production of "Animal Farm", and now it seemed like an eternity ago.. (doesn't make mathematical sense, I agree - but being mathematical is the last mode I am in right now..)

Apart from various midterms and assignments, there has also been tremendous development of ideas; especially concerning my idea of a startup company... for obvious reasons I will not put the idea here. Suffice to say that it keeps me burning at night while surviving through the endless stream of work being thrust onto us students :D

I'm experiencing a true writer's block. Ideas are brimming during classes and discussions; but somehow they refuse to 'congeal' into written, or anything remotely tangible. What am I to do, oh Africa? There's so much to think about Africa, so much to write, so much to do!

Monday, September 15, 2003

I watched the play "Bent" last night, staged by Toy Factory in its wonderful attic theater, starring Keagan Kang and Brendon Fernandez as lead roles.

It was an extraordinary performance; it was also the first time I saw so many gay couples 'in the open.' While the all-male performance was intense and stark, what struck me most was the question it evoked in myself. What is my stand on homosexuality?

Although I consider myself a traditional Catholic, my objective side says, "What's wrong in being 'bent'?" To those who believe that homosexuals are born with such inclination, there doesn't seem to be any justifiable objection to accepting gays as anyone else has a right to be accepted. And so I am such a believer. But the question's more than just whether it's okay to be gay. Sure there are 'legal' implications in 'legally accepting' gays - from marriage issues to family issues; but the question goes deeper than immediate consequences to the human civilisation.

Biologically speaking, it does not make sense to be gay. Period. A gay couple cannot reproduce, at least not until (and if ever) human cloning becomes feasible (and acceptable!). What holds them together? Would 'love' alone be sufficient bond for a 'family' unit where the parents are of the same gender?

Some species are still reproducing asexually; but surely, sexual reproduction evolved because it offers advantages, that in large system, swings the fight for the species' survival? My point is, I guess, it's bad enough that gays cannot 'propagate their genes', one of the basic instincts of every living being. As 'human' beings (as opposed to 'just' animals), we must accommodate, we must protect, we must embrace this 'biologically-illogical' difference. We call ourselves human and we call ourselves civilised; we need to protect everyone's rights to live a dignified life as a human being. Ditch the jungle laws and let's be human.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

"Unsettling" is the word of the day. i felt like things around me are going faster than i am; work demands results faster than i can produce them. perhaps it's just that i'm not ready to go back to school yet.

went overseas (erhm.. just to malaysia :p) last weekend, and the feeling of warmth it brought was unexpected. i really felt at home =)

Friday, August 15, 2003

despite my wish to remain anonymous, i've just enabled comments on this page. since no one close to me knows the existence of this blog, it will be ages before someone is going to use the comment feature, or until blogger.com starts charging; at which point i will say "au revoir!" ;)

Monday, August 11, 2003

right after my last post, something happened. suddenly i'm seeing someone now. strange... life is so unpredictable.

i've been looking for escapes, exit clauses in life. and what made me say "why not?" to this guy, was (besides all the good things about him) the need to exercise my staying power. i can't run away forever.

Saturday, August 09, 2003

How do you expect a self-proclaimed "private" person to publish her thoughts somewhere which will be accessible by the whole wide world?

Throw a girl out of her family home, put her through Singapore-styled education system, work her forty-eight hours a day or until she fell asleep exhausted (whichever is earlier)... Work can be fun, meeting people can be enriching, but on most days it's the people we go home to that keep us going. The closest thing to a family member she has, is her faithful little vanilla linux box, waiting for her at the end of the day.

Gosh, I'm tired. Not to mention, feeling extremely strange. I've just launched these little blobs of private thoughts to the world! *gulp*

Friday, August 08, 2003

My, my.. I've arrived in the blog world from the other side. And what a tough little sentry you have there; I must have tried about fifty usernames before I finally get one.

"LinuxMonkey". Cute? Nah, it just describes my day job. (And my part time work at night, too.)