I think I'm in love...

Last night I just finished reading Graham Greene's The End of the Affair. This is the 2nd book by Greene that I picked up (the first was Brighton Rock—which somehow didn't evoke much from me) and I'm so blown away I think I'm in love... *_*

I'm in love with Greene's characters, and most of all, I'm in love with God, the God that loved unconditionally. His characters started out as the rest of us; selfish beings in quest for happiness which they saw could only be in the realm of the world, but an encounter with Grace in the most unexpected ways left them no other way but to believe Him, and Sarah became a saint in Greene's world.

The questions Greene's characters asked articulated most seekers' questions, doubts, anger at their own helplessness, as well as fear that God might really exist. The struggles and the pain Greene described felt so real and evoked strong memories of our own times of struggle when I could remember being close to 'hating' the Omnipotent being for not fulfiling my wishes (I couldn't bear to write "I H*** G**" here and now; such a profanity the thought has become to me...) Yet perhaps it is because I'm not trapped in a loveless marriage, nor have I had a stormy affair, that I could not believe one could get that angry at life, at God, and so much despair!

Somehow two of Greene's novels I've read so far gave me a sense that the author himself is angry at God, angry that God exists, but his own reason forced him to begrudgingly acknowledge that He exists and finally, like his characters, succumbed to His Grace.

Wow.

I picked up another one Greene's novels this time; I'm about to read The Heart of the Matter, it's a little too overwhelming to write about it now. I think I may write about them when I'm done with this one.