Quo vadis?

Hello, hello!!!! It's been, what, almost a year since I last wrote something on this blog, and boy, how time flies!! A year in tech world is like a lifetime (iPad, iPhone 4, rise of FB & Twitter & Netflix). I haven't quite lost interest in the world yet, but most of the interesting links I found go to Facebook now after Yahoo! announced del.icio.us' early demise. And along with dwindling attention span - it's down to 140 characters thanks to a previously mobile startup called Twitter - I find writing anything more than a couple of soundbites, a tad too tedious.

Anyway, it's good to be able to write a good length piece once in a blue moon. And today is such a day.

Our late beloved pope, John Paul II, was officially beatified this morning. Although in the eyes of many he's already a saint, the church does what is in her purview - trust but verify - and declare it official after a process of investigation. Papa BXVI did dispense with the 5 year waiting period, but did not decide to declare his predecessor Santo subito ('immediately') without due process. We're in the age of reason after all, or post-rational, as some'd prefer to say..

If you haven't caught the fever of enthusiasm and joy yet, read on as I'd like to share a bit of my conversion that I believe I have JP 'the great' to thank for. (Have I got any of my old readers left? No? Doesn't matter, I only hope to cheer on a random soul searching for anecdotes about lives touched by JPII)

It started back in 2004, when I just left a serious relationship, and found myself searching for "what's more" in life. I found Choice program - which markets itself precisely to capture this audience. It was good though it wasn't what I was meant for. Got involved running the program, and the community was truly like my second family back in Singapore. That's where I first encountered Theology of the Body, a teaching about love & sexuality made popular by JPII. It was like, who's this brilliant, charismatic, pastoral, and truly paternal figure?? Before this encounter he was only a remote leader figure in the Catholic Church living far away in Rome, and for whom we pray each day even if only out of common piety (or so as not to lead us astray!! How presumptuous I must've sounded...). From then on I began to read his biographies, his works, his encyclicals (yes, even those...), eager to know where'd this guy get all that wisdom, charisma, and above all, the peace & joy that could only come from knowing you're doing exactly what God has made you to do. From one thing to another, I found myself reading tons of blogs (St Blogs, in the words of a wise Catholic blogger), learning stuffs about Catholic doctrine that I never knew existed.

When he passed away in 2005, the whole world's interest in him was renewed. Then I came across a blog post about volunteering for the World Youth Day in Cologne, the first one without JPII. I didn't know what the WYD was, but I signed up and haven't look back since. From there on, one thing leads to another, one encounter after another, one session after another, and two years after his death, I found myself signing a blank cheque of my life to God. (Those of you who know me in real life know what I'm referring to).

So, here I am four years later, in a place I never dreamt of visiting, doing things I'd never dream of doing if not for the yes JPII has inspired me to do. (It's kind of hastily written - but I just had to write something you see...)

Meanwhile life goes on. I still make mobile apps in my spare time (look out for WYD companion app coming soon for your iPhones!!), I am still struggling to keep awake in those Gethsemani moments in my life, I'm still struggling against the old man in me, and I still carry the hope that at the end of it all, our lives are not the sum of our successes and failings, but the sum of God the father's love for us.

Aquí nació

On July 31st, the feast day of St Ignatius of Loyola, I (and 16 others from the residence) went to Loyola for a day trip. Our objective was to see the basilica of St Ignatius, built next to the Santa Casa (Holy House) where he was born and was 'converted', taking advantage of the fact that his feast day happens to be the day when we had a break during the summer course. We went with intent to have more leisure than to exercise piety, but we were quickly disabused of that notion.

We drove from Pamplona, and arrived a little before 1pm, and to our (well, mine really) surprise, the parking lot was full and there were throngs of people everywhere. There was a Mass (in Basque) being said, and when we came to the doors of the basilica, we had to be 'restrained' outside until hundreds of people streamed out at the end of the Mass. The next Mass, this time in Spanish, ensued at 1pm. I'm just plainly surprised that the local people are just naturally pious. To come to the basilica of St Ignatius on his feast day is the normal thing to do :)

We watched an introductory video about Loyola (more about Loyola than about St Ignatius) at the tourism office, which is just below the basilica. I didn't understand a single thing, since it had the style of Shakespearean Spanish.

After briefly seeing the basilica, taking a few hurried shots as the Mass was under way, we went to the Santa Casa, which is the center of attraction. The basilica in fact, was built just next to it. Admission costs 2€, and guided tour costs 3.5€, but somehow, just somehow, somebody managed to convince the counter guy that since there were 17 of us, we should be let in for much less. So we forked out 1€ each and got ourselves a guided tour ;) The guided tour really means that our group gets a card that is to be scanned by card-readers at every station (there are 12 in total) in the Santa Casa. When the scanner reads the card, an automatic voice recording plays and thus we heard the history of St Ignatius - from his birth until his conversion.

It was very well done. I am impressed at its quality and comprehensiveness. It informs us of the very well-documented facts of the life of St Ignatius, from the significance of the location of this house and its political alliance, to the significance of the construction of the house (which has no windows on the lower part of its walls—characteristic of a fortress), to the more elevated aspects of the life of St Ignatius, culminating (the tour, that is) in the Chapel of Conversion (the room where se entregó a Dios Iñigo de Loyola)

What impressed me most of all is the devotional and 'elevated' style of the guided tour. It has the style of a Christian meditation. In fact, some of my friends jokingly added "Amen" at the end of several of the stations. We heard through the recorded voice that Iñaki (Iñigo in Basque) asked himself - given that God had given him so much - what has he done for God? Then we were asked to 'reflect' what God wanted of each of us ;) Mind you, my friends are exactly some of these pious people who could appreciate such elevated discourse, but the unexpectedness of it all brought much humour to the situation. Indeed, we came out nearly two hours(!!!) later, having piously (and humorously) heard 'the meditations' and praying for the intercession of St Ignatius on behalf of all the persons & the intentions entrusted to us by our friends who couldn't be there, half-dying with hunger and had a picnic lunch in the park outside the basilica.

So far, this is one of the best excursions (not to mention the madness of Sanfermin!) I have had in Spain, very characteristic of this land — both playful and pious at the same time.

More pictures can be seen here

In the footsteps of a saint

Castillo de Javier, Navarra, Spain

Almost by chance, as I was browsing around the ancient bookshelves that clearly don't belong in a modern, brightly furnished study in this residence, I found a decent book titled "Set All Afire". Only the author's surname, De Wohl, attracted my attention since I have heard good recommendation about another book also written by him.

There being only a limited collection of English books here, I took it out and started reading. It was about St Francis Xavier, who by chance was born in Navarra, whose 500th anniversary of his birth was just celebrated, who by chance was thinking of becoming canon of Pamplona, and who by chance, is the patron saint of Navarra. Enough chances. I figure out that since I am very much surrounded by circumstances that led me to this book, I might as well read it well.

To my surprise, I soon found myself praying with this book. Well, at least, the first few chapters of it. While it is a fictionalized account of his conversion and initiation into the Compañia de Jesus (Society of Jesus), it moved me profoundly.

The zeal of St Ignatius (whom they called "Father") was palpable, and his love of God -- and with that, confidence in God -- can be summarized in one sentence, which often gave me consolation: "If everything I planned failed, all my wishes were thwarted and all my fighting were in vain -- a quarter of an hour in prayer would reconcile me and leave me as cheerful as I was before." The book is about St Francis Xavier, though one gets more than a good glimpse of St Ignatius of Loyola, his 'spiritual father'.

Well-educated men they were, these pioneers of the Societas Jesu, and it is exemplified by De Wohl's portrayal of St Francis walking up to an Indian temple full of Brahmans, very much reminiscent of St Paul at the Areopagus. Using reason, with fire - both figuratively and literally - when it is needed, or a gentle word when it is needed, he brought many souls to the true faith, a hallmark of all saints.

What I found extremely interesting were these two passages from the book, again fictionalized, but those which capture different ways of dealing with diversity of beliefs:

First was a lively discussion between St Francis and two Muslim clerics in an island off Mozambique, in the east coast of Africa, on the subject of declining numbers - something that we know very well in today's Churches.

Seventeen mosques there were in Malindi, but no more than three of them had worshipers and these were few in number. He could not understand it. How could it be? Why was there such a hardening of the hearts, such negligence and indifference? Surely it must be because of some great sin they had committed...

"The sin that was committed," Francis said sternly, "is that God's revelation brought to us by Our Lord Jesus Christ was not accepted by you."

"Isa ben Marryam," said the old man, "is to us a prophet - a great prophet - though not as great as Mohammed."

"There is your sin, old man," said Francis, "... . You are not like the poor heathen who have never heard of Our Lord and thus have had no chance to accept him in their hearts. You heard and you rejected him, you give a mere man preference over him. No wonder then, that God does not abide with you and takes no pleasure in your prayers."

"Allah is merciful, it cannot be that."

...

(After Francis reluctantly left these two Muslims to catch a boat to India, the imam reluctantly defended Francis' position to his fellow Muslim -- all highlights are mine)

The Imam gave a bitter laugh. "How right he is and how wrong you are, O Ali ben Mottaleb!"

"Allah!" The old man stared at him, aghast. "You, a Moslem can say such a thing?"

"I can say it because it is the truth. When we were children, O Ali ben Mottaleb, we learned that two and two is four. Not seven. Not even four and a half. Just four. And when the teacher asked us how much two and two made and we gave any other answer but the answer four, he would punish us, because we were wrong. Now if this is right and true in an everyday matter, how much more so must it be so in the things of Allah? Either we are right and the Nazarenes are wrong, or the Nazarenes are right and we are wrong. Of course, we may both be wrong. But one thing is certain: we cannot both be right! It is not possible that at the same time Mohammed is greater than Isa ben Marryam and Isa ben Marryam greater than Mohammed."

"That is true, but..."

"And it so happens that that Nazarene believes he is right, O Ali ben Mottaleb! So he must declare us to be wrong. It is true that his eyes are those of a prophet -- because his soul speaks through them with conviction. He feels sure that he has got the true answer. So how can he make any concession? By the beard of the Prophet, it is impossible! Don't you see what is wrong with us? It is that we no longer have real faith. If we had, we would not ask him questions. We would try to win him over to Mohammed and kill him if he resisted our attempt."

There are many things packed in this short conversation that could teach us about tolerance and truth! 'Religious' conflicts that happened (and still happen) in many places are, in my opinion, a little too unavoidable. The reasons are plainly obvious, as stated by the imaginary cleric in the imaginary conversation with St Francis. When two religions 'dialog', each must be aware that a compromise in each other's positions, or tenets of faith and liturgical practices, should never be only a part of the objective. To win the other party over - is always the objective, no matter how politically incorrect it sounds. Like De Wohl put it, "[with them - Christians] it is always everything or nothing."

I think it is futile to enter into a dialog when neither party believes that what he believes is sacred. It is also futile to enter into a dialog when both parties believe they are both right but not willing to declare the other to be wrong for politeness' sake. It is even more futile to desire peaceful coexistence without each party, or one, having to re-examine its own relationship to the Truth.

I wonder what St Francis would have said and done about syncretism and inter-religious "dialog" of today... something that many modern day institutions inherited by his fellow 'Iñiguists' seem to gain infamy for.

In the second passage, St Francis was talking to the first Brahman he encountered in India, who gave him presents of fruits, meat and pearls -- as a kind of 'bribe' for not inciting more unrest in a village of Sudras - one of the lower castes - who had been converting to Christianity in droves, depriving the priestly caste of tributes:

"Please accept in kindness these little tokens," said the Brahman, "tokens of our admiration and respect and the sign of the respect we servants of the gods have for each other."

"There is only one God", said Francis stiffly.

The Brahman smiled. "To the servant of Siva there is only Siva," he said. "To the servant of Ganesha there is only Ganesha. That is as it shold be and as the wisdom of the gods has decreed it. But confusion would result if we were to teach the lower castes that they must listen to us alone and not anyone else. We are resolved not to contradict your teachings, wise man from the West, and all that we ask of you is that you will not interfere with pious men and women rendering their tribute to the gods in our temple."

(Whereupon St Francis flatly refused to accept the bribe and said: )

"Truth makes no bargain with error. ... I shall not rest till all Paravas have become the servants of the one, true God."

Indeed. Truth makes no bargain with error.

The other 'mystery' I encountered in this book, is martyrdom and the mysterious way the Communion of Saints work. In one of the southern islands of India, as well as in many other places, hundreds of villagers were massacred because they would not renounce their Christian faith, they who had learned the Creed and believed in it for a very short while. A most powerful communion of saints strengthen and support the earthly journey of every Christian, never more strongly encountered than in those who have paid the sweet price of faith with their blood.

Another thread that is most apparent, is his use of intellect ad maiorem Dei gloriam. Like many Jesuits I know, Francis did not disdain human recourses, used strategy and never shied from using arms to the advantage. And coming from a military background, he knows the importance of discipline in an army, especially the army of God. This book also tried to explain the only possible reason why Francis wanted to set up a kind of Inquisition in Goa. The entry on him in Wikipedia implied that the Inquisition was directly due to Francis.

The other journeys of St Francis were described most poignantly. I was most touched reading the chapters of his arrival at Malacca, and afterwards, to the Moluccas islands, beyond the city of Amboina (now called Ambon), to the cannibalistic parts of those islands. To think that a saint had learned to speak my language... to think that a saint had set foot in my country to spread the Faith, and to think that today, the Moluccas Islands remain one of the most staunchly Christian part of Indonesia. Both India, Indonesia, China and Japan, countries St Francis visited, are still mission territories today.

Few of us are perhaps called to 'evangelize' the way St Francis did, to spread the faith with fire, but for the rest of us, our Jerusalem is "wherever work was to be done for the glory of God, in Siena or Calabria, in Ireland or in Parma, in Lisbon or in India. Even at this old desk in this old room..."

Path to happiness: the school of Mary

I'm currently reading this incredibly clear and inspiring book by George Weigel called "Letters to a Young Catholic". A dear friend had recommended it to me some years back, but I'm just recently discovering this gem.

Since I haven't finished reading, I'll just provide an excerpt from two chapters. The whole book aims to invite the reader to explore the richness of the Catholic faith and to invite us to contemplate and respond to our vocation; that call that each Christian receives from God. Weigel drew the example of St Peter and Our Lady in their discovery and the living of their faith.

In the example of St Peter, we are shown that faith in Jesus Christ starts as an encounter with Truth. And such is the quality of Truth that it demands we stake everything for its sake (vitam impendere vero).

One of the most important truths .. is this: the truth of faith is something that seizes us, not something of our own discovery (still less, our invention). The Peter who was led from Galilee to Rome did not make the journey because of something he had discovered and wanted to explore to satisfy his curiosity. Peter went from the security of his modest Galilean fishing business to the dangerous (and ultimately lethal) center of the Roman Empire because he had been seized by the truth, the truth he had met in the person of Jesus.
(p 27)
Being seized by the truth is not cost-free. "You have received without pay, give without pay," Jesus tells his new disciples, including Peter (Matt 10:8). In Peter's case, the call to give away the truth that had seized and transformed his life eventually cost him his life. And that, too, is a truth to be pondered: faith in Jesus Christ cost him his life. And that, too, is a truth to be pondered: faith in Jesus Christ costs not just something, but everything. It demands all of us, not just a part of us.
...
Peter, who has been given his new name because he is to be the rock on which the Church rests, is being told, gently but firmly, that his love for Christ is not going to be an easy thing. His love is not going to be a matter if "fulfilling" himself. His love must be a pouring out of himself, and in that self-emptying he will find his fulfillment—if not in terms that the world usually understands as "fulfillment." In abandoning any sense of his autonomy, in binding himself to feed the lambs and sheep of the Lord's flock, Peter will find his true freedom. In giving himself away, he will find himself. Freely you have received, freely you must give—if the gift is to continue to live in you.
(p 28)

Weigel also drew on the example of Mary, who remains a paragon of victory through self-giving and commitment, especially for our generation, who have seen the wreckage of 'modern loves' and have every excuse not to trust nor commit.

The first of the rosary's "mysteries" - the Annunciation - takes us back to Mary's fiat and reminds us that Mary as the first of disciples is also the pattern of Christian vocation. The Gospel tells us that Mary found the angel's greeting "troubling". And why not? But Mary's response amid her fears and doubts - Mary's fiat - vindicates the angel's greeting, that she is "full of grace". Mary doesn't' negotiate. She doesn't ask for a prematernal contract, unlike today's couples with their prenuptial agreements. Mary doesn't have an exit strategy. Mary doesn't "keep her options open." In fear and trembling, but with confidence in God's saving purposes, she gives the answer: fiat. Let it be. I am the Lord's servant and the Lord will provide.
(p 60)
...
"Keeping your options open" is not the path to happiness, wholeness - or holiness. That's an important Marian insight from the New Testament for every generation but perhaps especially for yours. We've all heard, time and again, that yours is a generation short on trust? If so, it's not hard to understand why. You've seen the wreckage caused by the sexual revolution and its dissolution of trust between men and women, both within marriage and outside of it. You've seen public officials betray their oath of office, and priests and bishops betray the vows they swore to Christ and the Church at ordination. You've seen teachers and professors betray the truth because of expediency, cowardice or an addiction to political correctness. If yours is a generation that finds it hard to trust and thus hard to "commit", that's understandable. But not persuasive.
(p 61)

He then next shows that despite our cynical propensity towards commitment, we are also drawn to figures which embodies commitment, like our Pope John Paul II of happy memory. How'd he do it? How did a priest from a Nazi-occupied and Communist-oppressed country manage to overcome the darkness that would naturally engulf anyone exposed to such suffering, to give himself totally? Weigel says, Mary is John Paul II's teacher.

Perhaps this 'trust deficit' is one of the reasons why so many young people found Pope John Paul II such a compelling figure. Here was commitment embodied in an irresistible way... Unlike popular culture, the Pope didn't pander to you - he challenged you: never settle for less than the greatness of soul that God has made it possible for you to live, because of Christ. At the same time, he demonstrated with his life that he asked of you nothing that he had not made, no struggle that he had not struggled through.

How could he do this? I think he gave the answer at Czestochowa, the great Polish shrine of the Black Madonna, Poland's most famous Marian icon in 1979. There, John Paul said, quite simply, "I am a man of great trust; I learned to be one here." I learned to trust here, in prayer before this image of Mary that draws us into the mystery of Mary's special role in the salvation history—which is the world's history, read in its true depth. I learned to trust, not in 'options' or 'exit strategies' but in the mother who always points us toward her son, toward the Christ who never fails in his promises.

That's why the inclusion of the wedding feast at Cana in the New Luminous Mysteries of the rosary is another invitation to think and pray about your vocation. Every Catholic, every Christian, has a vocation— a unique something that only you can do in the providence of God. That, too, can be disturbing thought until we recognize that that same providence will mercifully, repair and make straight whatever false steps we take in living out our vocational commitments. "Do whatever he tells you" That is Mary's message to us, as well as to the servants at the wedding feast in Cana. "Do whatever he tells you" is Mary's gentle invitation to make her fiat your own. Don't look for an exit strategy. Live in trust, not in calculation; stake everything on Christ.

In his embrace, to which Mary points us, you'll find the path to happiness, wholeness and holiness that you will never find by keeping your options open.

And all these, are just from the first few chapters! I'll continue writing as I progress through the book.

St Julian the Hospitaller

This year, I did not look for a patron saint until I came across Seminarian Matthew's update about it early this month. While it's not important, it's a kind of pious habit to rely on the intercession of those who 'made it'. So I promptly asked for one and guess who picked me... St Julian the Hospitaller, also known as St Julian the Hospitalarian or St Julian the Poor.

His origin is a little obscure, some legend says he was French, some says his hospital was in Rome, some says it was near the shrine at Santiago Compostela. The Golden Legend tells an embellished tale of heroism and charity of St Julian and his wife. It goes that a beast once foretold that he would kill his own parents, so St Julian exiled himself, until one fateful day when his parents met his wife and were taking rest in his very own bedroom. Out of jealousy, he killed both his parents, thinking they were his wife and her lover. Inconsolable with remorse, he & his wife traveled to Rome, asked for pardon from the Pope and dedicated the rest of their lives in continence to serve the poor and the sick. Now that the disclaimers are dispensed with, let's get on with the tribute.

Whether or not the legend is true, St Julian (and his wife) are famous for running an inn or a hospice, taking care of poor and sick pilgrims. The same pious legend says that one night an angel of the Lord visited St Julian as a leper pilgrim, asking him to ferry him across the river to where his inn was, and at the end of St Julian's selfless service, announced God's forgiveness for his past sin. There are many churches dedicated to St Julian in Paris, France, and in Macerata, Italy.

Legend or not, this Lent it is one story has particularly inspired me about what charity truly is.

Why me?
I once read an amusing story about the business of picking patron saints. Enbrethiliel told me that we should rather, pray that a saint would pick us up into his/her patronage. Going with the latter view, I realize I couldn't ask the saint "Why did you pick me?", but I need to ask "Why did you pick me?". Through the communion of Saints, we are grateful for any kind of intercession from any fideles: living militant, suffering, or triumphant. Still the question remains: what is our connection? Is it a reminder to cultivate and exercise Charity? Well, that is one task that will be with me til the end of time! Time will tell.

Feast of St Thomas Aquinas

Once more the Church celebrates the feastday of St Thomas Aquinas.

Fr Z, in his podcast on the Eucharist, said that St Thomas Aquinas was specifically mentioned in the Code of Canon Law (the 1983 issue) as the one whom theologians should turn to in the study of philosophy. Such is the greatness of this Doctor of the Church and yet listening to any of his works still heard today in Benedictions of the Blessed Sacrament, "Adoro Te Devote" or "Pange Lingua", one cannot miss his unmistakeable humility and love for the Eucharist.

St Thomas is one of my favorite saints precisely because he showed that love for Truth is not, cannot be, against love for God—indeed not only they are inseparable, but love for Truth and love for God is one and the same. It is this love for truth and the great humility of his that probably made Pope St. Leo XIII designate him patron of all Catholic academic institutions throughout the world.

For an excellent introduction to this great saint, read GK Chesterton's "The Dumb Ox". If you haven't, pick it up at a library nearest you. I hope that you will either fall in love with the author, with the saint himself, or if the grace of God is strong, more deeply in love with God Himself.

Communion of saints

For many years, the Communion of saints is a Catholic concept that is probably one of the hardest things to understand for me, a convert. To me, from observing many cradle-Catholic friends of mine, the communion of saints means, roughly, praying to St Anthony for a certain kind of intention, St Jude to another kind of intention, going to novenas, visiting the shrines of our Lady for all sorts of special intentions, etc. What often came to my mind is a picture of old ladies clutching prayer cards and rosaries, and occasionally, physical penance carried out to 'bargain' with the saints for their intercession. Their piety amaze and move me, but really, is it necessary?

I suppose I did not much understand this because my life frankly, has not been one where much bargaining for divine intercession is needed. There were many ups and downs, but I trust that God knows better what's good for us than we do ourselves.

Fast forward to the present day, I share an apartment with a cradle Catholic from the Philippines, and made friends with many other cradle Catholics from traditionally Catholic countries. They expose me to these heretofore alien pious practices. And many intercessions, invocations, devotions, and Marian pilgrimages later, I realize that it has helped me form a habit to pray for other people's intentions and needs. I also realize that means I can ask many more people to pray for my intentions. It is strange for me today if there are nobody's intentions to pray for... and if friends ask me, a lowly member of the Church militant and a sinner, to pray for their intentions, why can't we turn to the saints and holy souls to intercede for us? For the petitions of the just surely carry more merit in heaven...

Through other means I have also 'discovered' the communion of saints. Since I started reading Catholic blogs, there have been so many new acquaintances made, and so many people and intentions to pray for. Two years ago, I found out that one of the twins (of Angry Twins) was about to enter the monastery and began praying for him. And the blogger formerly known as Moneybags, have also entered the seminary this fall. And the blogger who's praying for the safety of a baby in threat of being aborted. And the blogger who's praying that the San Diego fire may not harm a monastery nearby. There are many other examples through which I realize that the communion of saints is so REAL.

Today, for instance, I read a lovely story about Kate's grandfather who recently passed away and whom she remembered especially for his famous butter cinnamon toast. I don't know who Kate is, I don't know who her grandpa is, and I've never eaten cinnamon toast before... but from now on, I'll remember them in prayer whenever I eat cinnamon toast. Isn't the communion of saints beautiful?

"Come Be My Light"

"So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?"
-- Mother Teresa, addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated

Mother Teresa, has always been this character of superhuman strength to me, yet one whose ministry did not particularly appeal to me. What is even more amazing, is that, since the darkness began at her new ministry in Calcutta, how she managed to carry out her ministry of love amongst the poorest, without consolations from God at all! There is a new book I haven't read yet, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light; it draws from her letters describing her spiritual dark nights in a very moving way, but in it some already predicted she will soon be known as one of the mystic saints.

Read the entire article here.

Memorial: St Alphonsus Liguori

The Church celebrates the feast of St Alphonsus Liguori today. His writings have recently entered my life, and most of the aspirations I put into the widget are attributed to him. Although many saints are endearing to individual members of the militant Church because they identify with their lives with the Saints' circumstances, yet in the case of St Alphonsus, I can say that reading his life makes me feel like I know 'em (the Saints) all, major and minor. All the elements are there: suffering, doubts, scrupulosity, struggle, and suffering in particular because of our own lack of love!

Fr Tim had three interesting posts about St Alphonsus recently. I read them with fascination (not knowing much about this saint) and his writings (in-print and elsewhere!).

Someone once remarked, after a sermon by Alphonsus, "It is a pleasure to listen to your sermons; you forget yourself and preach Jesus Christ."

Human Device

"Human device" seems like a term that non-humans use to describe mechanism/tools which are human, or for those who dismiss physical mechanism in spiritual endeavor. I encountered this term when reading up about prayer. When one is absorbed in the daily tasks and work, it can be difficult to keep the presence of God. There are ways to keep ourselves "rooted" of course, such as keeping a crucifix in clear view on our desks.

Now, for the digital age that made the computer desktop literally our "desk top", there are nifty things like widgets. I personally use Yahoo! Widget Engine (now re-named Konfabulator again, after a very unimaginative name change), and have a Picture Frame widget (prebundled when you install the Widget Engine) that sometimes displays a crucifix.

Based on an advice from my SD, I start using a digital equivalent of a click-counter to keep track of the aspirations (short prayers) that one can say (in order to better keep the presence of God) in a day, and found it very nifty indeed! It can be quite revealing however, when at the end of the day, my count remains in the single-digit range!

Very often, the number stared at me and I ran out of aspirations to say. Frankly, there are some days when saying an aspiration is the last thing on my mind. So I thought, why not stand on the shoulders of giants (in our case, the Saints), and mimic their impeccable devotion instead?

Out of this burst of inspiration, I made my very first widget ever: this widget displays a random aspiration from one of the saints (well, they are mostly from St Alphonsus Liguori, and then there are some from St Teresa de Avila, St Philip Neri, and many others I did not manage to discover). Admittedly, some of their spiritual ejaculations are so POD™ (pious & overly devotional) and almost outside-of-this-world, but they made it, eh? ;) This widget, called "Catholic Random Aspirations", also keeps a counter as to how many you have said today. Clicking on the red button increases the counter and gives you a different random aspiration. Right now it's only a static collection of slightly less than 200 aspirations and can be run OFFLINE.

Any comment or feedback regarding the use of this widget is very welcome! Also, I'd really appreciate it if you can send me more aspirations. The next version of this widget will draw the aspiration randomly from an online database so that the collection of aspirations can be updated without upgrading the widget itself.

I've submitted this widget for public download at Yahoo! Widgets Gallery and it's still now under review. (I will update this post when it goes live.) In the meanwhile, if you trust that I'm not going to run some malicious code on your machine, you can also download it here (old link removed, updated below). If it helps you keep Him closer, it's enough reward!

UPDATE! The widget is now available for public download at Yahoo! Widgets Gallery. This is the direct link. Enjoy!

Sts Peter & Paul

After two weeks of hellish schedule running around with my family members in town, I stumbled into an evening Mass yesterday at Novena, only to find that they were celebrating the feast of Sts. Peter & Paul. I did say I had two rough weeks, didn't I, but I think I know the feast was to be celebrated on June 29th and not yesterday.

It'd be interesting to know why the Church put the two saints, of different characters and at times, at odd with each other, together in their commemoration day. Anyway, at the same time, I'm in the middle of reading Georges Chevrot's book called "Simon Peter" (translated from French, originally Simon-Pierre). St Peter is an endearing figure to me, and many Christians out there I'm sure, the personification of a madly affectionate soul who is at the same time aware of his own weaknesses and wretchedness.

Simon Peter fell down and caught Jesus by the knees: "Leave me to myself, Lord", he said, "I am a sinner".
...
[S]imon Peter has another feeling, no less lively, for instead of backing away as his words might lead one to expect, he throws himself at the Saviour's knees. (St Luke does not say that he kneels before Jesus, but that he throws his arms around His knees). He tells Jesus to go away from him, and at the same time he stops Him by holding His legs. "Leave me to myself, Lord!" and he hugs Him tighter.
--Chapter 3, Simon Peter

Doesn't that resonate for you? I know for me it happens often!

Year dedicated to St Paul
And just yesterday, our Pope Benedict XVI jut announced a special jubilee year dedicated to St Paul, in order to 'invigorate' the Church, which 'needs modern Christians who will imitate the apostle's missionary energy and spirit of sacrifice'.

While I still don't know why these two illustrious pillars of the Church are put together, I think their working together in the vineyard of the Lord is a bit like faith & reason as two wings beating together to bring the soul up to God.

And this, is the beautiful solemn blessing at the end of today's mass:

The Lord has set you firm within his Church,
which he built upon the rock of Peter's faith.
May he bless you with a faith that never wavers. Amen.

The Lord has given you knowledge of the faith
through the labors and preaching of Saint Paul.
May his example inspire you to lead others to Christ
by the manner of your life. Amen.

May the keys of Peter, and the words of Paul,
their undying witness and their prayers,
lead you to the joy of that eternal home
which Peter gained by his cross, and Paul by the sword. Amen.

Sancti Apostoli Petrus et Paulus, ora pro nobis!

St Thomas More & St John Fisher

Today we commemorate the feast of St John Fisher & St Thomas More, more famous for his martyrdom than what he accomplished in his life. Read here for fascinating glimpse of his life, as well as some history about other English Catholics persecuted during the time of Henry VII and the secession of England from the Church.

I condemn no other man’s conscience: their conscience may save them, and mine must save me.
-- St John Fisher

Memorial: St Anthony of Padua

June 13th was yesterday: my namesake's feast day. Here's a quote attributed to him:

Actions speak louder than words; let your words teach and your actions speak. We are full of words but empty of actions, and therefore are cursed by the Lord, since he himself cursed the fig tree when he found no fruit but only leaves. It is useless for a man to flaunt his knowledge of the law if he undermines its teaching by his actions.

Memorial: Blessed Damien of Molokai

Today we commemorate Blessed Damien, whose selfless service and heroism encouraged many to heed God's call (indeed, this is true for every SSCC priest I know!). He ministered to the lepers in an isolated colony of Molokai, Hawaii, before contracting the disease himself and died. He is venerated even by non-Catholic ecclesial communities. Pray for us!

Anecdote: I found a letter attributed to Robert Louis Stevenson (of the Treasure Island fame), in defense of Blessed Damien, when in the course of the beatification process, a Protestant clergy wrote ill of him.

Feast of St Joseph

In celebration of the feast of St Joseph today, I have to defer to a much more inspired and enlightened mind:

Today we contemplate Joseph, husband of the Blessed Virgin, protector of the Incarnate Word, a man of daily work, steward of the great mystery of salvation.

It is precisely this last aspect which is given great emphasis in the biblical readings proclaimed a few moments ago, which explain to us how God involved St Joseph in the saving plan of the Incarnation. “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (Jn 3:16). This is the incomparable gift of salvation; this is the work of Redemption.

Like Mary, Joseph also believed in the Lord’s word and came to share in it. Like Mary, he believed that this divine plan would be fulfilled through their willing co-operation. And this is what happened: the eternal Son of God became man in the Virgin Mother’s womb.

About Jesus — a newborn, then a boy, an adolescent, a young man, a mature adult — the eternal Father spoke the words of prophetic announcement which we heard in the first reading: “I will be his father, and he shall be my son” (cf. 2 Sm 7:14). In the eyes of those living in Bethlehem, Nazareth and Jerusalem, Joseph was Jesus’ father. And the carpenter of Nazareth realizes that in a way this is so. He knows it, because he believes in the fatherhood of God and is aware of being called, to a certain extent, to share in it (cf. Eph 3:14-15). And today the Church, in venerating St Joseph, praises his faith and total docility to the divine will.

Some more devotional links:

• The Sixteeen Ordinary But Extraordinary Devotions to St. Joseph
  
• St Bernardino's reflection on St Joseph is here

Feast of All Saints

Found this hymn For All the Saints (by an Anglican bishop, no less) online:

For all the saints, who from their labours rest,
Who Thee by faith before the world confessed,
Thy Name, O Jesus, be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Thou wast their Rock, their Fortress and their Might;
Thou, Lord, their Captain in the well fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

For the Apostles’ glorious company,
Who bearing forth the Cross o’er land and sea,
Shook all the mighty world, we sing to Thee:
Alleluia, Alleluia!

For the Evangelists, by whose blest word,
Like fourfold streams, the garden of the Lord,
Is fair and fruitful, be Thy Name adored.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

For Martyrs, who with rapture kindled eye,
Saw the bright crown descending from the sky,
And seeing, grasped it, Thee we glorify.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

O blest communion, fellowship divine!
We feebly struggle, they in glory shine;
All are one in Thee, for all are Thine.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

O may Thy soldiers, faithful, true and bold,
Fight as the saints who nobly fought of old,
And win with them the victor’s crown of gold.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave, again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

The golden evening brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm of paradise the blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

But lo! there breaks a yet more glorious day;
The saints triumphant rise in bright array;
The King of glory passes on His way.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

From earth’s wide bounds, from ocean’s farthest coast,
Through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,
And singing to Father, Son and Holy Ghost:
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Here's a wallpaper to grace your desktop to commemorate All Saints!
Omnes Sancti et Sanctæ Dei, orate pro nobis.

October 15

I realized today, after finding out that it is the feastday of St Teresa d'Avila, one of my newly acquainted favorite saints, that THIRTEEN years ago, I landed in Singapore. Today onwards I am entering my FOURTEENTH year in Singapore. How time flies!

Happy 13th Anniversary to me.. and St Teresa, ora pro me ;)

Memorial of St. Teresia Benedicta a Cruce

Seven years ago, on this date, I received the Sacrament of Confirmation. For a long time, I could not remember the date, until last year when I started looking for my confirmation patron saint and found that the memorial of St Edith Stein, also popularly known as St Teresia Benedicta a Cruce (her Latin title, while the English spelling is "St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross"), is celebrated on this date, August 9th.

(Needless to say, I was overjoyed to 'discover' this saint, learning that she was canonized just one year before my confirmation, and to visit the city of Cologne, where she spent her days as a Carmelite nun—though I missed the sculpture of the 'Saint without a grave')

In many ways, St Teresia Benedicta is a model for our generation, a generation that often prides itself in being a thinking generation. In times when rationalism and intellectualism are often used to ridicule faith, St Teresia Benedicta showed how fides et ratio are not only not opposed but how our thinking faculties lead us to seek and contemplate our Creator.

Read here a short hagiography of her life.

St Teresia Benedicta, pray for us.

Memorial of St John Vianney (Aug 4)

St John Vianney, famously known as the Curé of Ars, wrote Instruction on the Catechism, one of the first few spiritual works I've read on my journey to become a little more than a Sunday Catholic.

His life of humility and devotion made for a good role model.

St John Vianney is also a patron saint of parish priests and confessors. St John Vianney, pray for my confessors.

Feasts of St James the Apostle (July 25), and Sts Joachim and Anne (July 26)

St James the Greater, patron Saint of Spain, is a fine model of apostolic zeal! A comprehensive post on him and his legend here. St James, we pray that inspired by your zeal, we may aspire to be a little more apostolic in our daily lives.

Sts Joachim and Anne: parents of Our Blessed Virgin Mary.
Yesterday Msgr Lau mentioned in his homily of St Anne, a patron saint for mothers and childless people. Tradition taught that she was childless for a long time, but what gracious answer God gave to them by giving them as their child the most perfect human being: Mary. She is often pictured teaching the scriptures to Our Lady as a child.