Saturday, October 18, 2003

Had chinese dim sum for lunch with my sister today. Bad dim sum! alright.. so it wasn't thaaat bad. It was the 2nd worst dim sum i've ever had. The worst was in this little shop across beauty world. All the best dim sum meals i've had were in Indonesia. Somehow i felt over here, they have lost the 'art' of making dim sum. Or enjoying it, for that matter.

Speaking of dim sums, it brings up the topic of Chinese-ness. Yeah, Chinese-ness. I am Chinese by birth and that's where it stops. Yet, my way of life, my diet, my way of thought belies a very deep root. This is something I cannot deny. I have met many of my fellow Indonesians of Chinese heritage, who have completely lost that 'Chinese-ness' of theirs. It is disturbing; for what is lost has not been made up by a new identity. This group of people is growing in numbers as more Indonesian youngsters find it unnatural to retain any Chinese identity they had from birth.

What about me? I would argue that my loyalty, my heart, lies nowhere but in Indonesia. Yet the deep root cannot be unrooted. Nor do I want it to be. Chinese is what I am born as, what I am inside. But who I am to the world is for me to decide.

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