Monday, December 06, 2004

I like... peaches

This is the first of the "I like.." posts. I've had many conflicts of identity recently, and my housemate and friend suggested I should go introspecting, you know, "just discover" myself.

The process didn't begin today— it started way back, when a guy I was dating asked me what do I like to eat. I answered none, because it is true I don't particularly like food. Pretty strange, huh? How can a human being don't like food, when the rest of the world is facing growing obesity problem? First response I thought of, is that I'm just not enthusiastic about food– it doesn't mean I skip breakfast, lunch or dinner!

"There are many things—which are not food— in this world that give satisfaction", I told myself. And I've tried many things: parasailing, canoeing, kayaking, whitewater rafting, mountaineering, rock climbing; in the culture department, I played piano, percussion, collected stamps, painted watercolours. You name it, I'd have almost certainly have tried it. Except for one thing: I haven't fallen in love :D Yet all these things don't adequately represent who I am.

Well then, my friend asked, do you have a vision of yourself? Or are you trying to make a person out of a collage of many other people's accomplishment? (She was referring to my numerous crushes at accomplished men) I can see what I'm going to do six months from now. I can see what I'd possibly want to do ten years from now. I can't see what do I do in between!

Anyway, the point of this little rant is, I want to start consciously on this journey. I want to know who I am. I want to know what makes me tick. I want to know who wants to love me. I want to know who I love back. Where is God in all this picture? Is He a background Character? I somehow feel like He'd want me to go through this, and find out what He has meant me to be.

I'll start with something simple: I like peaches :)

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