Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Storm in my heart

Today i read his blog. And saw how eloquently he expresses his plight. and how he turns to God.

To be fair, he does not say i was the cause of his plight. to be fair, he does not vilify me. so why am i so sad as i write this? "The wise keeps silent", they said. And so have i tried to be. The storm in my heart remains for God and I to work out.

What i despise is the hypocrisy of it all. Telling everybody that he's ok, that he's turning to God, that he's accepting the separation with both hands. Oh have i tried, have i tried, to be his friend. But he's pushing himself away from me. Perhaps it's for the best. Perhaps i never had a friend in him :|

Maybe i should be sorry, maybe i should try to explain to him. But not being the eloquent truth-twister (well.. he's quite good at it!), i chose silence. the more he comes, the further he pushed himself. I sound confused, because i know not what to do about this person i see i can help, and yet one who refuses to see he has not been his true self. And now, i see him like a tiny ship caught in a storm of my own making.

Perhaps someday Father, you will tell him what i mean.

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