Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Angst. Problem. Analysis. Solutions.
A friend once sneered at blogs, dismissing them as 'blobs of angst written by sweet young things'. Well, although the last part isn't true in my case, the first definitely seems to be the order of the day. Angst.

I followed the blog entitled Sancta Sanctis with interest, and her earnest endeavor to embrace a more religious life simply astounds me. Not to mention she writes so elegantly and with so much devotion to God. In my life, similar threads of events occurred lately; I suspect it must be the works of, in Enbrethiliel's words, my own guardian angel. From things like awakening of what i call the 'spiritual intellect', to getting my life in order, these events 'reek' of divine intervention. And i'm flailing. Hopelessly flailing and failing.

Not only my religious life is shabby (it used to be non-existent, I believe), other things in life are screaming for attention. For once, I could find a functional use for a blog such as these. When thoughts are written down, they're easier to sort. At least I hope so.

So, getting back to things to be put in priority queue, they include:

  1. My religious life -- beginning of my interest in Catholic apologetics
  2. My relationship -- the shabby way I treat my kind 'special friend'
  3. My work -- my thesis, my budding business idea, and my work
  4. My interpersonal relations -- the ungracious, not-so-sociable me
  5. Last but not least, my family! "Out of sight, out of mind" -- i hope this won't be my motto

Surveying people around my age and station in life, it will not be surprising to find that the above things are simply common concerns in life to be put in order. Why am i flailing? Often my pride gets in the way of acknowledging that i'm in trouble in a big way... i guess success has been a lousy teacher. One such as myself need to begin taking 'hard knocks' to nudge life back on track. And where am I going? I have been posed this question, and I have evaded answering it. But here goes, in no particular order (i know to some this is the biggest problem!):

  • Having a spiritually rich life with inner peace of God
  • Building excellent interpersonal relations and leadership skills
  • Building a successful business
  • Having a happy family
  • Build a business in Africa, if i can

*Phew* There. I got them listed. For once in many years. Now it's time to reflect on a plan, and which stage I am in the blueprint. So what's my plan?

  • Get my room cleaned
  • Get my work back on track
  • Start learning about businesses and the industry I'm interested
  • Keep looking out for new ideas
  • Read the right things
  • Discipline myself to stick with my spiritual regime (i'm beginning to miss my primary school's regular mass...)
  • Work on my relationship with people
  • Pray more
  • Reflect more
  • Plan for long-term goals
  • Update my plans as frequently as I can

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