Catholic+Linux+Monkey

Quo vadis?

2011-05-02T00:58:00.005+08:00

Hello, hello!!!! It's been, what, almost a year since I last wrote something on this blog, and boy, how time flies!! A year in tech world is like a lifetime (iPad, iPhone 4, rise of FB & Twitter & Netflix). I haven't quite lost interest in the world yet, but most of the interesting links I found go to Facebook now after Yahoo! announced del.icio.us' early demise. And along with dwindling attention span - it's down to 140 characters thanks to a previously mobile startup called Twitter - I find writing anything more than a couple of soundbites, a tad too tedious.

Anyway, it's good to be able to write a good length piece once in a blue moon. And today is such a day.

Our late beloved pope, John Paul II, was officially beatified this morning. Although in the eyes of many he's already a saint, the church does what is in her purview - trust but verify - and declare it official after a process of investigation. Papa BXVI did dispense with the 5 year waiting period, but did not decide to declare his predecessor Santo subito ('immediately') without due process. We're in the age of reason after all, or post-rational, as some'd prefer to say..

If you haven't caught the fever of enthusiasm and joy yet, read on as I'd like to share a bit of my conversion that I believe I have JP 'the great' to thank for. (Have I got any of my old readers left? No? Doesn't matter, I only hope to cheer on a random soul searching for anecdotes about lives touched by JPII)

It started back in 2004, when I just left a serious relationship, and found myself searching for "what's more" in life. I found Choice program - which markets itself precisely to capture this audience. It was good though it wasn't what I was meant for. Got involved running the program, and the community was truly like my second family back in Singapore. That's where I first encountered Theology of the Body, a teaching about love & sexuality made popular by JPII. It was like, who's this brilliant, charismatic, pastoral, and truly paternal figure?? Before this encounter he was only a remote leader figure in the Catholic Church living far away in Rome, and for whom we pray each day even if only out of common piety (or so as not to lead us astray!! How presumptuous I must've sounded...). From then on I began to read his biographies, his works, his encyclicals (yes, even those...), eager to know where'd this guy get all that wisdom, charisma, and above all, the peace & joy that could only come from knowing you're doing exactly what God has made you to do. From one thing to another, I found myself reading tons of blogs (St Blogs, in the words of a wise Catholic blogger), learning stuffs about Catholic doctrine that I never knew existed.

When he passed away in 2005, the whole world's interest in him was renewed. Then I came across a blog post about volunteering for the World Youth Day in Cologne, the first one without JPII. I didn't know what the WYD was, but I signed up and haven't look back since. From there on, one thing leads to another, one encounter after another, one session after another, and two years after his death, I found myself signing a blank cheque of my life to God. (Those of you who know me in real life know what I'm referring to).

So, here I am four years later, in a place I never dreamt of visiting, doing things I'd never dream of doing if not for the yes JPII has inspired me to do. (It's kind of hastily written - but I just had to write something you see...)

Meanwhile life goes on. I still make mobile apps in my spare time (look out for WYD companion app coming soon for your iPhones!!), I am still struggling to keep awake in those Gethsemani moments in my life, I'm still struggling against the old man in me, and I still carry the hope that at the end of it all, our lives are not the sum of our successes and failings, but the sum of God the father's love for us.

Javierada

2010-03-16T06:42:00.006+08:00

When I left on Friday afternoon for Pamplona, I confessed I had no idea what'd transpire this weekend. Sure I'd heard that this weekend would be 'The Javierada', where many people would walk from Pamplona, or surrounding villages, or anywhere along the route between Pamplona to Javier, the village where St Francis of Xavier (Francisco de Javier) was born.

Having vaguely said yes to an invitation someone made some months back, I gamely signed up to go on this 'hike' (or so I thought) although the original person who invited me backed out because she had a class to attend on Saturday morning. So we set out, 4 brave cats (cuatro gatos), at 5:15 in the morning, finding for ourselves a lovely weather, not cold at all for March, taking into account that just last week it snowed pretty heavily.

On the way to Noain, the airport of Pamplona, we met a middle aged man who regaled us with stories of his various journeys of Camino Santiago and countless Javierada. We walked with him up to Monreal; I was marveled by the witness of his faith. He went this year, he told us, to pray for his two daughters who are self-professed atheists. He is asking for the gift of faith.

At this point (it was 8:10 in the morning when we arrived at Monreal - about 12km from Pamplona) I had not felt fatigue setting in, although a brief pause while a friend took a pee, was a welcome respite. I thought about his remark that "everybody had something to ask", and thought, what'd I have to ask from God? Let me say that I made up my mind to do this Javierada, only in this past week, when something reminded me that my father is baptized Fransiskus Xaverius (that's Latin-- or rather, Indonesian-- spelling of the saint's name) and it seemed like a great pity if, being in his homeland now, I do not take advantage to seek his intercession. So that's what I have come to ask.

An hour and a half from Monreal, I began to realize that I have a problem. We were walking on perfectly paved roads (which some said are bad for the knees). My friend was telling me that I'm dropping my pace, while I was perfectly sure that I am walking at a constant pace. Soon she left me, and I realized everyone else was overtaking me... even children and the elderly pilgrims were walking faster than me. At this point, my legs felt kinda stiff but there was no pain yet. At 11, we passed by "La Venta de Judas", an oasis under a flyover, where volunteers were offering us food & drink. We thirstily drank Aquarius and picked up some goodies for the journey. That was our brief stop, and my company left me behind for the rest of the journey. Soon one hour became two and two became three. We didn't even stop for lunch. I drank liquids, although I wasn't so thirsty. After all the weather was good. We had good fortune: the wind was blowing (mostly) from behind us. The sun was in my eyes (which for most people here is what constitutes good weather) and I felt not the least bit cold.

At about 2 o'clock we "regrouped" at Yesa, to decide whether to stop to eat or continue. We continued, and my company soon left me behind. The last few hours were hellish. I started the day praying the Via Crucis, and realizing for the first time, the fundamental reason why man, does penance and suffers voluntarily, when I said the closing prayer (a la Española) "Señor, pequé." This was the closing prayer that I never quite heard clearly before (having only prayed the Way of the Cross in English, privately of course).

"Señor, pequé." Lord, I have sinned. This is why Javierada attracts thousands of people. The next day I read in the paper that not less than 20,000 people did the Javierada this weekend. I was impressed to see many young people, while expecting to see only the most pious and perhaps, the older population. I think there is something deeper than a simple tradition handed down from generation to generation and it being a good day to 'walk a bit' with friends: there is a deep sense that we ought to make reparation for some thing that we have done wrong against ourselves, against some people, and ultimately, against that Someone.

We prayed countless rosaries, both together and in feverish silence. All that thought, many prayers, and mumbling the names of each one for whom I pray at every excruciating step, was what got me there. St Francis of Xavier, of course, interceded for us. Here is a saint who inspired, and continued to inspire thousands of people to rise above their own comfort and dare to venture out to spread the love of God. My last prayer, I'm a little embarrassed to say, was for us (well, I know my company was ahead of me) to arrive there before the Mass starts. How glad I was to see the huge sign "Bienvenida a Javier (2006)". Little did I know that the castle of Javier, which is right now a basilica, was at least 2km further and up the hill.

But we made it.

And just in time for the Mass. I arrived at the grounds outside the Castillo at 4:30pm. I was truly surprised to see a mass of people. It turned out that groups from Madrid had come to celebrate a stage of the journey of the World Youth Day cross. So I was there, reliving memories from the World Youth Day in Cologne, although exhausted and could barely stand (thanks to the huge blisters in my feet and stiff legs). The bishops of Pamplona—Tudela and San Sebastian were there, and said homilies which clearly showed their zeal for souls— encouraging young people to not be afraid to open their hearts to Christ and to pray, concretely, for 3 people around us, to 'bring them up' in the paten at the Mass.

The Mass, although outdoor, was reverently celebrated and the people were absolutely pious. I couldn't stand up nor kneel for the consecration, although fortunately, I could see everything as I was situated just in front of the outdoor altar.

Another friend from Pamplona 'rescued' me at the end of the mass, held my arm as I limped down to where the car was parked. It was only 50-odd kilometres from Pamplona to Javier. The WYD Cross was brought to the chapel of San Fermin in Pamplona, where an overnight vigil was held. Close to 2000 people came to pray before it, reported the paper the next day.

I am glad to have gone, although am still suffering the aftermath with sunburnt lips, swollen legs and limps. This Spanish tradition speaks volume about the Spanish culture and deeply rooted Christian identity. I will go again, given the opportunity. And this time I hope to see the basilica, at least.

Waiting this advent

2009-12-14T11:41:00.002+08:00

Despite the fact that I have always loved the season of Advent, and despite the fact that this year Advent in my life has all the characteristics of waiting, I don't feel at all ready to hear, much less live, the message of Advent. It makes me a little sad how frigid (well, the weather doesn't help) my attitude has been this advent. The birth of Christ, lovingly awaited by thousands of faithful, seems more than a million miles away from me. Even as I helped to put up several Christmas crib scenes around the residence, I wish, I just wish, I could feel a little more enthusiastic, more affectionate, more recollected, to welcome this great mystery of the God who was made man and dwelt amongst us.

For 'cultural' Catholics, this would be easy to identify with. After all, they have grown up surrounded by the myth, (but not quite the mystery) of Christmas, ever since they could remember. All that gifts and warm fire and general atmosphere of festivities may be all Christmas means for many. I count myself amongst them, although neither my family is culturally Catholic nor am I a cradle Catholic.

This year I have the unusual privilege of having nearly two weeks of 'relatively free' time to think (and prepare) about what Christmas means, or should mean.

Struggling to get back 'on track', I tried to imagine being on 'the other side', being the One who is coming to a people who has kind of forgotten him, or is growing tired of waiting for him. How suitably post-modern it is to try to understand a situation from the 'other' point of view.. well. Anyway, as I was saying, I read and prayed, and those exhortations to get prepared, to get ready to welcome God made man, God-made-child, could not lift me up through the thick stupor of routine.

But just imagine: how it'd be like for you, if you were the one waiting to be born, waiting to enter into time, waiting to walk amongst us, His ungrateful creatures, waiting to save us, since... since the beginning of mankind, since the fall of our first parents. Talk about waiting! Our 4-week long advent, or even a lifetime of waiting, is nothing, compared to the thousands of years (millions or trillions, if you are an ID-and-evolutionist like me) that He has been waiting to come into our lives.

Imagine His enthusiasm, His joy, and most humbling of all, His need, to be with us. As omnipotent God who made everything out of nothing, it is unimaginable, inconceivable (indeed, a folly to the Greeks and a stumbling block to the Jews), that God would 'lower' Himself to save creatures who sadly, do not always recognize Him and even when they do, do not always reciprocate, nor even appreciate, the magnitude of this gesture of love. It is mind-boggling, to think that, God's gesture to us almost says "I need you, I want your love", when it is us who should be saying all that to the One who brought us to existence. And He did come, two thousand years ago, and since then, waiting to come anew into our lives, every Christmas.

How fitting it is that December is filled with various feasts of Mary; from the 8th, her Immaculate Conception, to 10th, Our Lady of Loreto, to the 12th, Our Lady of Guadalupe. She knew all about waiting for the One. She knew He has waited much longer, with much more longing, than she, or anyone else, had.

Well. This is my short reflection this Advent. This has helped me a lot; this Christmas, I am going to try to be a little bit more conscious of this wonderfully stupefying fact, that God has waited for me first. May this Advent bring you truly closer to Christ.

Misdiagnosed PVS for 23 years

2009-11-24T16:38:00.002+08:00

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2009-11/man-comatose-23-years-was-actually-conscious-all-along

This man was extraordinarily lucky to be alive to tell his story: that for 23 years, they thought he was in PVS state, not realizing that he was actually paralysed but fully conscious of everything that happened around him. This news didn't come from a particularly pro-life publication; it just reiterates how flimsy are the criteria for brain death. It is particularly interesting to me as we now have classes about anatomy, pathology, and inevitably, organ transplant and the polemic around it.

This one is from LifeNews with some commentary on how this episode affects debate about PVS determination and ethical implication.

Cada vida importa (17 Oct)

2009-10-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow, in Madrid, there will be a pro-life rally "Cada Vida Importa" (Every life matters). Most of my friends who can squeeze time into their schedule are heading there to show their support. It is especially relevant in Spain, where there is currently an ongoing battle to liberalize abortion, seeing it as a 'necessary step' to be fully modernized like the rest of Western Europe. I, like a few others, won't be able to make it but will support them with prayers and ask you for yours.

More info here and here (in Spanish).

Just to recap on the topic of the scourge of abortion:
Last year abortion killed 41.6 million (report by Guttmacher!!!)

And last, but not least, you have to read this profoundly sad but hopeful reflection by an abortionist, Lisa Harris, who aborted 18-week baby even as she felt her own 18-week baby kicking. Excerpts (read in full here):

With a quick tug, I separated the leg. Precisely at that moment, I felt a kick - a fluttery "thump, thump" in my own uterus. It was one of the first times I felt fetal movement. There was a leg and foot in my forceps, and a "thump, thump" in my abdomen. Instantly, tears were streaming from my eyes - without me - meaning my conscious brain - even being aware of what was going on. I felt as if my response had come entirely from my body, bypassing my usual cognitive processing completely. A message seemed to travel from my hand and my uterus to my tear ducts. It was an overwhelming feeling - a brutally visceral response - heartfelt and unmediated by my training or my feminist pro-choice politics. It was one of the more raw moments in my life.

...

I thought to myself how bizarre it was that I could have legally dismembered this fetus-now-newborn if it were inside its mother's uterus - but that the same kind of violence against it now would be illegal, and unspeakable.

...

[...] the psychological burdens second trimester abortion care lays upon its providers, including "serious emotional reactions that produced physiological symptoms, sleep disturbances (including disturbing dreams), effects on interpersonal relationships and moral anguish."

...

Harris conjectures that the needs of abortionists in this regard are not met because "frank talk like this is threatening to abortion rights." "While some of us involved in teaching abortion routinely speak to our trainees about the aspects of care I've described, we don't make a habit of speaking about it publicly. Essays like this bring the inevitable risk that comments will be misinterpreted, taken out of context and used as evidence for further abortion practice restrictions," she writes.

"We might conclude at this point that a provider who feels that abortion is violent is simply ambivalent, conflicted, is not really committed to women's abortion rights, and just shouldn't be doing this work," Harris writes. "'Pro-life' supporters may argue that the kind of stories and sentiments I've relayed spell the end of abortion - that honest speech acts regarding the reality of abortion will weaken the pro-choice movement to the point where it cannot sustain itself any longer.

As you may very well imagine, my first response was, "How could this woman not see?!" All that she wrote was contradicting each other; how can she maintain that the pro-choice position is tenable for the well-being for women when it must be obvious even to her:
(1) the incongruous, injustice of born-alive protection and legal status of abortion, and
(2) her own 'visceral response' which she tried to rationalize and explain away, and (3) the 'psychological burdens' suffered by 'second-trimester providers' is precisely because our consciences know the action cannot be defended morally ever. EVER.

I feel very sad reading the article, but at the same time hopeful that she, like many other abortionists, will come to see the inconsistencies in her position and recant from this kind of work.

Short Update: Prayerbook now in ITALIANO, DEUTSCH & RUSSIAN

2009-10-02T16:55:00.004+08:00

Just a short update: I've been down with cold lately and swamped with work.

An update to the Catholic Prayerbook is now available in iTunes (for iPhone users) or HERE (for Java users)

With this update, it is now available in English, Español, Latin, Bahasa Indonesia, Deutsch, Italiano, and Russian.

Also, there are now up to 28 prayers in each language. New additions include more thanksgiving prayers and novenas. Update your copy or Download it NOW here.

Any comments and suggestions are always welcome!

Open-Source Math Tool: Sage

2009-09-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

So life as a student has begun.

But not quite the same. For instance, I still have work pending; I still have people chasing after me, I still have products in the pipeline while several hours daily, I am usually in class.

Several days ago, professors from maths class that I'll take next semester (next semester, mind you!!!), emailed us 4-pages "diagnostic" test of our level of mathematics. I swear cold chills descended upon my spine. Not that I hate math or anything like that, but it kinda reminded me of those days of math homeworks which took me hours to finish, not to mention those blasted complicated sums which sometimes, unfinished, crept into my sleep...

So I turned to wikipedia to refresh my 'math memory' - if there's such a thing, and lo and behold, it didn't turn out as difficult as I thought. Differentiation, all kinds of techniques to arrive at it, etc. wasn't quite as horrible as I thought. And then I discovered "Sage". After unsuccessful attempts to use Maple or Mathlab or something without paying thousands of dollars (hey I'm only a poor student), I discovered an open-source alternative. Somewhat thankful, I'd like to see how it compares to other packages. After several frustrating download attempts with a download speed in the range of 5Kbps, I finally found a mirror closest to where I am, that allowed the download (almost 400MB) to finish in about 20 minutes.

It's good enough for me to start writing this blog post :) Let's just say it appeals to the geeky part of me - it requires a mini-webserver to run at port 8000, and requires one to have accounts to 'log in', and its worksheet, was clean enough that I could verify my answers to a complicated differentiation in half an hour. Intuitive words such as "diff" and "sin" and "cos" simply work. Well, they need brackets. And I suppose a few helpful buttons wouldn't hurt. But hey, engineers love command-line interface, right? This package has all that we can ask for...

Just thought to recommend this nifty package.

Now back to the books...

iPhone scare: black screen

2009-09-11T17:02:00.004+08:00

These past few days, the iPhone I use had a black screen. For all purposes, it looked like it's dead, or switched off. But the alarm, which is set to go off at 6 everyday, made it ring and vibrate like crazy every morning and I couldn't turn it off. Calls were still going in, but I could see nothing. I could still use the cable to charge it and to sync it with the laptop and I'd hear the "clink" noise coming. So it wasn't dead, but neither was it functional.

They say Google's your best friend, and today it proved to be. A quick search on "iphone black screen" returns this page: http://seogadget.co.uk/iphone-display-blank-screen/. (The author had written, in his following post, that some site leeched off his post—I'm not going to do the same thing.. hence the link). But it basically says that you should hold down the "Home" round button at the bottom and the "Wake/Sleep" button on top, and the phone should reboot itself nicely.

It worked for me. Hope it saves someone the anguish, or having to find a pile of clothes or blanket in which to hide the vibrating iPhone. Read the comments in the link to amuse yourself :)

How to explain yourself when asked about abortion

2009-08-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

I've been intrigued by the whole abortion-prolife businesss since I first encountered it in 2003. At that point of time I was nominally Catholic, and held the view that choice is good, very good indeed, for a woman to choose whether she wants to abort her child or not. "Who's the state to say whether a woman should have a child or not?". I was also, at the same time and unsurprisingly, a nihilist. This learning about the arguments of prolife movement, based on natural law and then from the point of view of the Catholic Church, kind of "brought me back" to rediscover the joy of life within the Church. Hence this topic holds a special place in my heart.

It's July 30th when I began writing this. Not a particularly special day, but as I helped some friends to find facts to prepare a prolife presentation, I realize that despite a mountain of information available about abortion -- from both its advocates and from those who says it is a mortal sin, I haven't found one that summarizes it comprehensively. I suppose sometimes it seems too much to compress thousands of years of learning that support some of the arguments brought forth by its most vocal defender, the Catholic Church.

So I'm going to attempt to write a little bit more systematically, specifically about why abortion is not reasonably acceptable, not even mildly tolerable. Despite numerous 'rationales' proposed by its proponents, I am firmly in the camp that believes that it is an atrocity against the human race.

One last note: this is not meant as an attempt to 'win' anyone over. My treatment of the subject of abortion will spread over many areas but I will not elaborate too much, since my primary audience will be those people who *already* believe that abortion is wrong, but need a quick primer in articulating *why* exactly it is wrong, and how to answer common straw-fish arguments thrown by 'the other side' about any possibly good reason to support abortion.

So here we go; below are the common polemical arguments presented from the Pro-Choice Camp:

1. Fetus != Baby
I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Within a few weeks, possibly before the woman realizes she is pregnant, what is growing in her womb is not a blob of cells. There is no logical or mythical line that a fetus must cross in order to become a baby. You want to talk about dependence? Then most kids don't cross that line until they go to college!

2. Fetus != Person, therefore it has no protection of a person under the law
There's no logical 'beginning' of a person before or after fertilization. A day-old baby is the same person as he was a day before his birth, the same person as he was 2 days before his birth, and so on, until we come to a logical beginning, which is fertilization. During fertilization, a new creature with a complete set of DNA is created - even as a single-celled organism before the cells multiply.
Historically, personhood doesn't begin until after the person is born -- like in Roman times, when the father has to 'lift up' the baby to proclaim it as his son, if not, to reject it.
Philosophically, that's bosh. We've established that the fetus is a baby, and that baby is the same person, before and after birth. That baby cannot, at some point of time within its mother's womb, suddenly become a rabbit or a bird at birth. A human fetus grows to be a human person. A Person has human rights.

3. It's just a blob of cells, a part of a woman's body; she decides what she can do with her body.
Yes, a woman, or any free person for that matter, has the right to do what she wants to do with her body. A fetus isn't a part of a woman's body the way an arm or an eye is.

4. It's just a blob of cells; it's not murder.
We've established that the fetus is a baby, and a person. Premeditated, deliberate, involuntary termination of a person's life, in any sense, is murder. There's a law protecting the eggs of a bald eagle. Clearly, everybody knows that destroying an egg of a bald eagle destroys one more eagle. That which is growing in a pregnant woman's womb, is a baby. Clearly, to destroy it is to kill one more person.

5. Every child a wanted child
Boy, this is a slogan from the Clinton era. Pregnancy is never accidental, just as sex is never accidental. Pregnancy is an intended end of sex, biologically speaking. Every couple who has sex should keep in mind that their action indicates biologically that they want to conceive a child.

6. Abortion is a healthcare right, a woman's right
Several movements have begun to push for abortion to be proclaimed as a woman's right, cleverly stowed under the slogan of women's healthcare – which has become synonymous with abortion and contraception. Pregnancy is not a disease. Human rights can never, ever, include rights that deprive another of his basic human rights. Even in the case of a pregnancy that "endangers" the health of the mother, abortion is still not a right - it is only a tolerably evil consequence of saving the life of the mother. (More about this myth of dangerous pregnancy: only in very rare conditions make pregnancy hazardous to a woman, which are certainly not present in the majority of abortion-for-health cases)

7. Abortion should be 'safe, legal and rare'
Another Clintonesque legacy. Stats showed that abortion numbers spiked during the Clinton years. Relative safety, legal status and easy availability (sometimes subsidized or covered by insurance) does not exactly discourage its practice, you see.

8. Abortion has helped curb crime in dangerous neighborhood
There is higher density of abortion clinics at poorer neighborhoods. In New York, under Rudy Giuliani, abortion was used as part of the zero-tolerance strategy. It is a form of eugenics, or baldly put, genocide. It is saying that 'poor people' should not be encouraged to have children, and this slippery slope will lead to a situation where poor people will not have rights to have children. Social determinism: not all who grew up in poor neighborhood grew up to be criminals. Guess which ethnicity has experienced the greatest number of abortions? 37% of all abortions are done on African-American women, more babies (nearly 15 million -- PDF!) have died through abortion in the last 36 years than the number that slavery killed.

9. Abortion helps us to be ecologically friendly
(I must admit this is one of the more 'loco' arguments) Are human beings parasites? Is the earth overpopulated? 40 years ago, scientists say that at the rate human beings are propagating, there will not be enough food for everyone. Well, they've been proven wrong. Human beings are not only consumers but also producers whose creativity transcend conventional growth projection. As a side point, artificial engineering of population, made countries like China, and a large part of Europe experience demographic 'winter'.

10. Abortion is Pro "choice"
When the other side talks about 'pro-choice', this choice is never the choice of the baby, always of the mother. Thus the strong wins. This is pure discrimination, dictatorship of the powerful.

11. Abortion is legal
Today, in the US and in many parts of the world, yes, it is legal. But abandonment is not. Abandonment of a newly born child, say in a trash bin, is a crime. Abandonment of a child that survives abortion, say in an abortion mill, is a crime. Is it not inconsistent, not to mention absurd, given the legality of abortion? Have you ever given it any thought? For many in the prolife movement, these laws are seen as steps towards more prolife legislation.

12. Are you ready to support the baby born out of wedlock?
This is a form of ad-hominem attack, which moves the argument from the morality of the act, to the person who defends or opposes it. In reality, the Catholic Church, being one of the most vocal opponents of abortion, is also the greatest provider of social & medical service in the US (and I suspect in many other countries as well). She walks the talk.

13. Prevention is better than cure.
#1 – Abortion is NOT a disease!
#2 – Stats show that free availability of contraception does not correspond to lower rate of abortion. It stands to reason that increased false sense of security gave rise to promiscuousness.

14. Morning-after pills are not the same as abortion.
Morning-after pills contain hormones that prevent implantation of a fertilized embryo, often given to victims of rape, or those who have had 'unprotected' intercourse. In other words, a baby may (or may not) have been conceived but could not 'latch' onto the mother's womb and is subsequently killed. While it is intended to prevent ovulation and prevent fertilization, taking the morning-after pills may be an abortifacient act if fertilization has already occurred.

15. I don't agree with it, but I will protect the woman's right to choose...
This is like saying: I don't agree with slavery, but I wouldn't help my neighbor's slave escape and I certainly won't vote to end it either. Bull.

16. I don't agree with it because I'm “Catholic / Jewish / Muslim / Evangelical / <insert your own faith here>” but I won't impose my belief on others
Public square is where faith & reason meets, to throw it out of public square is a form of dictatorship of laicistic relativism. Should we hang our faith at the doors when we step into our offices? Should the Church not build hospitals and schools, because that reflects their belief that nurturing the body and the mind are good works? Should Bl. Damien not have served the leper community in Molokai? Should Mother Teresa not bother to help the poorest of the poor in Calcutta? All beliefs influence public decisions.

Additional reasons why abortion should not be seen as a normal part of our lives...
Loss of protection of conscientious objectors (eg. FOCA)
If abortion gains status as a right, then as a consequence, medical professionals need to protect these 'rights'. A pharmacist cannot refuse to dispense abortifacients, and doctors have to supply abortion service on demand, because they are seen as basic rights of the patients, which must be upheld by adherents of these professional standards.

Aborted fetus as a source of embryonic stem cells
Aborted fetus is a source of embryonic stem cells (ESC). As long as there is a steady supply of aborted fetuses, there is a steady supply of ESC, hence perpetuating this vicious cycle of supply-demand that extols their price in terms of human lives.

Aborted fetus as a source of donated organs
Aborted fetus can been seen as a source of donated organs. And why not? If abortion is seen as a right, and not a tolerable evil as it is seen today, then logically, a utilitarian end can be found for these unwanted consequences. What's stopping them from being used as a source of organs?

That's all I have for now, I hope it helps somebody out there.

Aquí nació

2009-08-03T19:04:00.012+08:00

On July 31st, the feast day of St Ignatius of Loyola, I (and 16 others from the residence) went to Loyola for a day trip. Our objective was to see the basilica of St Ignatius, built next to the Santa Casa (Holy House) where he was born and was 'converted', taking advantage of the fact that his feast day happens to be the day when we had a break during the summer course. We went with intent to have more leisure than to exercise piety, but we were quickly disabused of that notion.

We drove from Pamplona, and arrived a little before 1pm, and to our (well, mine really) surprise, the parking lot was full and there were throngs of people everywhere. There was a Mass (in Basque) being said, and when we came to the doors of the basilica, we had to be 'restrained' outside until hundreds of people streamed out at the end of the Mass. The next Mass, this time in Spanish, ensued at 1pm. I'm just plainly surprised that the local people are just naturally pious. To come to the basilica of St Ignatius on his feast day is the normal thing to do :)

We watched an introductory video about Loyola (more about Loyola than about St Ignatius) at the tourism office, which is just below the basilica. I didn't understand a single thing, since it had the style of Shakespearean Spanish.

After briefly seeing the basilica, taking a few hurried shots as the Mass was under way, we went to the Santa Casa, which is the center of attraction. The basilica in fact, was built just next to it. Admission costs 2€, and guided tour costs 3.5€, but somehow, just somehow, somebody managed to convince the counter guy that since there were 17 of us, we should be let in for much less. So we forked out 1€ each and got ourselves a guided tour ;) The guided tour really means that our group gets a card that is to be scanned by card-readers at every station (there are 12 in total) in the Santa Casa. When the scanner reads the card, an automatic voice recording plays and thus we heard the history of St Ignatius - from his birth until his conversion.

It was very well done. I am impressed at its quality and comprehensiveness. It informs us of the very well-documented facts of the life of St Ignatius, from the significance of the location of this house and its political alliance, to the significance of the construction of the house (which has no windows on the lower part of its walls—characteristic of a fortress), to the more elevated aspects of the life of St Ignatius, culminating (the tour, that is) in the Chapel of Conversion (the room where se entregó a Dios Iñigo de Loyola)

What impressed me most of all is the devotional and 'elevated' style of the guided tour. It has the style of a Christian meditation. In fact, some of my friends jokingly added "Amen" at the end of several of the stations. We heard through the recorded voice that Iñaki (Iñigo in Basque) asked himself - given that God had given him so much - what has he done for God? Then we were asked to 'reflect' what God wanted of each of us ;) Mind you, my friends are exactly some of these pious people who could appreciate such elevated discourse, but the unexpectedness of it all brought much humour to the situation. Indeed, we came out nearly two hours(!!!) later, having piously (and humorously) heard 'the meditations' and praying for the intercession of St Ignatius on behalf of all the persons & the intentions entrusted to us by our friends who couldn't be there, half-dying with hunger and had a picnic lunch in the park outside the basilica.

So far, this is one of the best excursions (not to mention the madness of Sanfermin!) I have had in Spain, very characteristic of this land — both playful and pious at the same time.

More pictures can be seen here

The changing tide

2009-07-26T22:56:00.001+08:00

For the longest time, any medical breakthrough achieved using adult stem cells are hardly ever reported in the mainstream media. If it does, it appears under the generic heading of "stem cells" carrying the ambiguity of whether it has employed embryonic stem cells or the adult stem cells..

Last week, I noticed for the first time, the phrase "adult stem cells" appear in Google News. Sure the news selection in Google News works 'randomly', sure these articles were not published in big-name newspapers, but there are some differences now:

1. The adjective "adult" appear alongside "stem cells" in the titles more frequently now. One doesn't have to scan to the last sentence in the opening paragraph to find out whether it's about embryonic or adult stem cell.

2. The article isn't ended off with a 'helpful' explanation of what adult stem cells are, and why they aren't as 'powerful' as embryonic stem cells.

Here are some latest articles about iPS stem cells being used in cardiac treatment.

iPhone versions are here!

2009-07-26T19:07:00.007+08:00

I don't know if I should laugh or I should cry... but after more than 3 months of waiting & 10 rejections (for the Mobile Prayer app), Apple finally approved my application. Thank God!

Here they are:

Compendium to the CCC

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=321140664&mt=8&s=143441

What is it exactly? It's self-explanatory... it contains the Compendium to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Costs $0.99 to cover my time (for the labourer has to be paid!)

Mobile Prayer app
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=312370283&mt=8&s=143441

It contains 24 prayers (22 for Bahasa Indonesia version) of various Catholic prayers and devotions in 4 languages: ENGLISH, ESPAÑOL, LATIN and BAHASA INDONESIA. Available only for $1.99, it's your forever. Or as long as forever goes :)

I hope you'll find it useful. Do help me spread the word :) If you have more things to feedback or comment, or say anything about the app, or other apps you would like to have, drop me a mail at catholiclinuxmonkey AT gmail DOT com.

More information here: http://blvu.com/cpb

In the footsteps of a saint

2009-07-03T14:16:00.002+08:00

Castillo de Javier, Navarra, Spain

Almost by chance, as I was browsing around the ancient bookshelves that clearly don't belong in a modern, brightly furnished study in this residence, I found a decent book titled "Set All Afire". Only the author's surname, De Wohl, attracted my attention since I have heard good recommendation about another book also written by him.

There being only a limited collection of English books here, I took it out and started reading. It was about St Francis Xavier, who by chance was born in Navarra, whose 500th anniversary of his birth was just celebrated, who by chance was thinking of becoming canon of Pamplona, and who by chance, is the patron saint of Navarra. Enough chances. I figure out that since I am very much surrounded by circumstances that led me to this book, I might as well read it well.

To my surprise, I soon found myself praying with this book. Well, at least, the first few chapters of it. While it is a fictionalized account of his conversion and initiation into the Compañia de Jesus (Society of Jesus), it moved me profoundly.

The zeal of St Ignatius (whom they called "Father") was palpable, and his love of God -- and with that, confidence in God -- can be summarized in one sentence, which often gave me consolation: "If everything I planned failed, all my wishes were thwarted and all my fighting were in vain -- a quarter of an hour in prayer would reconcile me and leave me as cheerful as I was before." The book is about St Francis Xavier, though one gets more than a good glimpse of St Ignatius of Loyola, his 'spiritual father'.

Well-educated men they were, these pioneers of the Societas Jesu, and it is exemplified by De Wohl's portrayal of St Francis walking up to an Indian temple full of Brahmans, very much reminiscent of St Paul at the Areopagus. Using reason, with fire - both figuratively and literally - when it is needed, or a gentle word when it is needed, he brought many souls to the true faith, a hallmark of all saints.

What I found extremely interesting were these two passages from the book, again fictionalized, but those which capture different ways of dealing with diversity of beliefs:

First was a lively discussion between St Francis and two Muslim clerics in an island off Mozambique, in the east coast of Africa, on the subject of declining numbers - something that we know very well in today's Churches.

Seventeen mosques there were in Malindi, but no more than three of them had worshipers and these were few in number. He could not understand it. How could it be? Why was there such a hardening of the hearts, such negligence and indifference? Surely it must be because of some great sin they had committed...
"The sin that was committed," Francis said sternly, "is that God's revelation brought to us by Our Lord Jesus Christ was not accepted by you."
"Isa ben Marryam," said the old man, "is to us a prophet - a great prophet - though not as great as Mohammed."
"There is your sin, old man," said Francis, "... . You are not like the poor heathen who have never heard of Our Lord and thus have had no chance to accept him in their hearts. You heard and you rejected him, you give a mere man preference over him. No wonder then, that God does not abide with you and takes no pleasure in your prayers."
"Allah is merciful, it cannot be that."

...

(After Francis reluctantly left these two Muslims to catch a boat to India, the imam reluctantly defended Francis' position to his fellow Muslim -- all highlights are mine)
The Imam gave a bitter laugh. "How right he is and how wrong you are, O Ali ben Mottaleb!"
"Allah!" The old man stared at him, aghast. "You, a Moslem can say such a thing?"
"I can say it because it is the truth. When we were children, O Ali ben Mottaleb, we learned that two and two is four. Not seven. Not even four and a half. Just four. And when the teacher asked us how much two and two made and we gave any other answer but the answer four, he would punish us, because we were wrong. Now if this is right and true in an everyday matter, how much more so must it be so in the things of Allah? Either we are right and the Nazarenes are wrong, or the Nazarenes are right and we are wrong. Of course, we may both be wrong. But one thing is certain: we cannot both be right! It is not possible that at the same time Mohammed is greater than Isa ben Marryam and Isa ben Marryam greater than Mohammed."
"That is true, but..."
"And it so happens that that Nazarene believes he is right, O Ali ben Mottaleb! So he must declare us to be wrong. It is true that his eyes are those of a prophet -- because his soul speaks through them with conviction. He feels sure that he has got the true answer. So how can he make any concession? By the beard of the Prophet, it is impossible! Don't you see what is wrong with us? It is that we no longer have real faith. If we had, we would not ask him questions. We would try to win him over to Mohammed and kill him if he resisted our attempt."

There are many things packed in this short conversation that could teach us about tolerance and truth! 'Religious' conflicts that happened (and still happen) in many places are, in my opinion, a little too unavoidable. The reasons are plainly obvious, as stated by the imaginary cleric in the imaginary conversation with St Francis. When two religions 'dialog', each must be aware that a compromise in each other's positions, or tenets of faith and liturgical practices, should never be only a part of the objective. To win the other party over - is always the objective, no matter how politically incorrect it sounds. Like De Wohl put it, "[with them - Christians] it is always everything or nothing."

I think it is futile to enter into a dialog when neither party believes that what he believes is sacred. It is also futile to enter into a dialog when both parties believe they are both right but not willing to declare the other to be wrong for politeness' sake. It is even more futile to desire peaceful coexistence without each party, or one, having to re-examine its own relationship to the Truth.

I wonder what St Francis would have said and done about syncretism and inter-religious "dialog" of today... something that many modern day institutions inherited by his fellow 'Iñiguists' seem to gain infamy for.

In the second passage, St Francis was talking to the first Brahman he encountered in India, who gave him presents of fruits, meat and pearls -- as a kind of 'bribe' for not inciting more unrest in a village of Sudras - one of the lower castes - who had been converting to Christianity in droves, depriving the priestly caste of tributes:

"Please accept in kindness these little tokens," said the Brahman, "tokens of our admiration and respect and the sign of the respect we servants of the gods have for each other."
"There is only one God", said Francis stiffly.
The Brahman smiled. "To the servant of Siva there is only Siva," he said. "To the servant of Ganesha there is only Ganesha. That is as it shold be and as the wisdom of the gods has decreed it. But confusion would result if we were to teach the lower castes that they must listen to us alone and not anyone else. We are resolved not to contradict your teachings, wise man from the West, and all that we ask of you is that you will not interfere with pious men and women rendering their tribute to the gods in our temple."
(Whereupon St Francis flatly refused to accept the bribe and said: )
"Truth makes no bargain with error. ... I shall not rest till all Paravas have become the servants of the one, true God."

Indeed. Truth makes no bargain with error.

The other 'mystery' I encountered in this book, is martyrdom and the mysterious way the Communion of Saints work. In one of the southern islands of India, as well as in many other places, hundreds of villagers were massacred because they would not renounce their Christian faith, they who had learned the Creed and believed in it for a very short while. A most powerful communion of saints strengthen and support the earthly journey of every Christian, never more strongly encountered than in those who have paid the sweet price of faith with their blood.

Another thread that is most apparent, is his use of intellect ad maiorem Dei gloriam. Like many Jesuits I know, Francis did not disdain human recourses, used strategy and never shied from using arms to the advantage. And coming from a military background, he knows the importance of discipline in an army, especially the army of God. This book also tried to explain the only possible reason why Francis wanted to set up a kind of Inquisition in Goa. The entry on him in Wikipedia implied that the Inquisition was directly due to Francis.

The other journeys of St Francis were described most poignantly. I was most touched reading the chapters of his arrival at Malacca, and afterwards, to the Moluccas islands, beyond the city of Amboina (now called Ambon), to the cannibalistic parts of those islands. To think that a saint had learned to speak my language... to think that a saint had set foot in my country to spread the Faith, and to think that today, the Moluccas Islands remain one of the most staunchly Christian part of Indonesia. Both India, Indonesia, China and Japan, countries St Francis visited, are still mission territories today.

Few of us are perhaps called to 'evangelize' the way St Francis did, to spread the faith with fire, but for the rest of us, our Jerusalem is "wherever work was to be done for the glory of God, in Siena or Calabria, in Ireland or in Parma, in Lisbon or in India. Even at this old desk in this old room..."

In defense of employers

2009-06-29T16:19:00.002+08:00

Elbert Hubbard wrote an essay titled "A message to Garcia", about the virtue of getting the job done. An articulate defense of employers - who are often vilified and exasperated by the unwillingness of too many a worker - to concentrate and put his head onto a task.

(I don't know why this one surprised me, I guess I need to go and do my duties now.)

This is frustrating...

2009-06-18T23:06:00.003+08:00

... that the iPhone Developer Portal has not been accessible for the last one week (or more?!!).

I heard that the activation servers of iPhone OS 3.0 have not been accessible lately, but the portal too?

Tortilla de patatas, at last!

2009-05-30T15:54:00.003+08:00

For those of you who know what's going on in my life, I'll say İHola! Today finally I had those tortillas de patatas. I must say that it has been better than what I expected: the people, the weather, even the food!

My journey started with a bang; there was no space in the cabin for my big fat hand-carry luggage and it ended up being taken away from me. It was an unfamiliar thing to me because: (1) I never carried a handcarry bag that is so fat that there was no space in the cabin for it, (2) I never carried anything remotely important for my life in a small luggage, (3) I never expected to lose sight of it for more than the duration of the flight. So I arrived at Madrid a little sleepy after a transit in London. Sans luggage. On top of that I lost the little baggage tag that was given to me in exchange of the custody of my handcarry luggage. Inside was my university certificate and birth certificate... Oh mother, pray for us!

After a little dilly-dallying and a mad dash for the almost-lunchtime Mass, I decided to proceed to my final destination sans luggage. That same day I took the bus to Pamplona, and would have slept throughout the 5-hour journey if not for the fact that I was carrying my last possessions on earth in a knapsack and that we had to stop and change bus halfway through the route.

Soon after I came to the warm embrace of those who picked me up that rainy freezing night in Pamplona. What their names are, I don't recall. Only that there was a Honduran... and that they thought I was a doctor... I fell asleep soon after.

Day #1: The day began with a meditation about the feast of the Visitation of Our Lady. That's about all I caught. I felt a kind of panic surging, a voice screaming, What the hell am I doing here? before reason took over and calmed me down.

Did you know that in most towns here you can only exchange US dollars for euros? I had half-suspected it but was too tired, back in Singapore, to realize I should not have carried singapore dollars with me... Bought myself los necesarios, amongst which was a little UK-to-Spain adapter for the computer. Unlike the train in Germany, (and like the rest of the world), it seems like you have to pay to take the train and buses.. and I got myself a bus card and a local SIM card.

After calling the airlines' lost baggage counter, finally I heard news that my checked-in luggage arrived this morning. I spent the day replying to my emails, reassuring everybody I was not lost in the middle of Spanish prairies, but merely incommunicado because the phone charger was in the handcarry luggage. After a day reading Spanish and listening to 30+ Spanish girls talking at the top of their voice, I retired with a headache.

Just before dinner, I was informed that my checked-in luggage had arrived. Thank God!

Day #2: Went to the town hall today to get my residence registration done. The Spanish understood English, spoken, much better than they speak or read. With my Indonesian passport before her eyes, the government officer took my word (a mistaken reply to a mistaken question) that my citizenship is Singaporean! Also, did you know Sarasate was Spanish? I didn't until today, where I took the bus to Calle Sarasate, one of many roads named after him. Passed by many fine old churches in the casco viejo (old town) of Pamplona.

Day #3: Went to the university's financial aid office. Was told I only qualified for one type of scholarship available, and that if I managed to somehow get it, the fund would be released only next year, halfway through the course... there's always part-time work available if I want to work... On the bright side, I found an English speaking priest in the chapel of the university.

When I came back to the residence, I found that the elusive handcarry luggage had arrived. I was just relieved at this point of time. Looking back at the whole episode I learned that I should never part with important documents, and that I should treat luggage tags as if they are as important as passports, and that I should have carried a slimmer handcarry luggage, and ultimately, that God is good. I traveled the whole journey: plane, train, bus, car, without having to carry luggage, and they were delivered to my doorstep, no less!

Food... hmm.. food was fine. Everybody had asked if I like Spanish food. TO which I replied that I didn't realize they were "Spanish" since they were very much similar to what we eat back home. Not the hawker center variety, but the home-cooked food variety. But today we had tortillas de patatas and gaspachos, which is never served outside summer. So today summer had officially begun here :)

iViaCrucis - now for iPhone!

2009-04-29T14:54:00.003+08:00

My little pet project, the Way of the Cross (and Mobile Catholic Prayerbook), has been ported for the iPhone platform.

It is now available for FREE download here. (Only available in English)

I know Lent is over, but you can always pray the Way of the Cross any Friday, or any day if you want. I know many saints who have grown closer to God by meditating upon Jesus Crucified.

I hope you will find this useful!

A little adventure: porting from J2ME to iPhone

2009-04-14T15:31:00.002+08:00

Three weeks ago, I began porting two of my J2ME applications, the Catholic Mobile Prayerbook and the Way of the Cross, into iPhone applications.

Milestone:
Week 1: Port to Objective C (and HTML!) - easy & fast
Week 2: Test on simulators and friends' iPhones - oh no, why won't it run? And there are NO error messages?
Week 3: Got my hands on an iPhone - took a day or two to get it to run a Release version

Status Now: Uploading to iTunes' App Store ... waiting for review

Some useful links when you are on the last stage, about to submit your application to the iTunes' App Store:

1. "The binary you uploaded was invalid. The signature was invalid, or it was not signed with an Apple submission certificate."
http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1590980&tstart=0

2. Two different days, project unchanged, different errors?
http://discussions.apple.com/message.jspa?messageID=9167082#9167082
http://blog.rightsprite.com/2008/11/iphone-buildingtesting-for-device.html

3. OK... all done? Now for the money, wait a minute.. I'm not an American taxpayer; what are all these tax numbers for??!!
http://www.opensoftwarepartners.com/2009/filling-out-apples-manage-your-tax-information-for-app-store-ireland/
http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?messageID=9191027

Hope it helps someone out there ;)

Easter people, Easter mission!

2009-04-14T15:25:00.001+08:00

Happy Easter to everyone! May the resurrection of the Lord make us a renewed Easter people with a rejuvenated Easter mission to bring mankind to salvation!

Through the looking glass, darkly

2009-04-03T23:44:00.005+08:00

Tonight I had the chance to stay up a little later and pray the Way of the Cross, although from outside the chapel. It was an interesting experience as the chapel was closed and pitch dark, except for a tiny light shining from the vigil lamp.

As I prayed the Stations, alternating between genuflecting, standing up and kneeling down, before a tabernacle I could not see, something interesting occurred to me. Looking at the dark chapel illuminated only by the vigil lamp reminds me somewhat of my faith. Often, at times like now, the only thing that indicates that there is a tabernacle there, and that Jesus is present in the Blessed Sacrament inside, is that vigil lamp burning throughout the night. Sometimes, the only indicator I had, that God is here despite, and in the thick of, all the human sufferings, are the faithful who gave witness to the goodness of God by their selfless service, burning through the darkness for the Lord whom they serve.

Secondly, the only time I could see (barely) the outline of the Crucifix and the Tabernacle, is when the lights outside the chapel are turned off. When we are preoccupied with our own 'stuffs', filled with the self-importance of our own ambition, we cannot see the presence of God who awaits us in stillness.

Well. It's past my bedtime and I'm still out. Enough rambling tonight. Here's wishing everyone a blessed Holy Week ahead! Antonia checking out for the night ;)

A perfectly ordinary day

2009-03-25T13:05:00.006+08:00

What makes March 25th a special day? Nothing. A little over two thousand years ago, on a day very much like today, ordinary, sleepy (or stressful... insert your own adjective here) and unassuming, something inconceivable happened.

An angel, not just any angel, mind you, an archangel — one of those who perpetually contemplate the face of God — was sent to a humble teenage girl, a teenage girl who had consecrated herself to remaining virgin, to ask her, if she would be the Mother of God.

This mystery in the God's plan of salvation has been the subject of many writings of the Church Fathers and theologians and saints alike. I am not going to pretend that what I write here will hold candle against any of their simplest quotes, but I would like to share this image (below) that I found of the Annunciation.

This is a painting set in the modern times, in a modern suburbia, and yet it captures the "ordinariness" juxtaposed with the loftiness of Mary's vocation. Many paintings of the Annunciation reveal the depth of the mystery beheld by their painters, of this divine logic. Imagine Mary as a young girl, going about her daily household tasks, or studying, or working, like what any of us are doing today. And then an archangel asked for her permission—we can imagine all of the inhabitants of Heaven holding their breath at this moment—for the Son of God to take flesh, to be amongst His people.

This "plan" of God to enter into time, into the lives of His people in carne, is nothing short of genius. Like told in the story of the Lord of the Rings, it was told that the Enemy could not conceive that the weak race of Man may seek to destroy the One Ring instead of wielding it for their own gain. Who'd have thought the Son of God would take on human nature and lay down his life to redeem a race of Lost Men?

The story did not end here. It did not end when Mary said yes. It did not end when the Savior was born. It did not end when He died and resurrected either. It is still happening in our days. Our perfectly ordinary days, like today. Each day the Lord is waiting to hear our assent to His will, and to gift us His graces. And each day we are invited to ponder anew and repeat, with Mary, fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum.

I didn't know I could make money praying!

2009-03-19T11:25:00.003+08:00

This is so OUT OF THIS WORLD!

H/T to TechCrunch.

As a business this is a novel idea. Solid business model too!

Now, can a thing without soul pray to God? Can a computer pray on our behalf? Can someone accept the Sacraments on our behalf? :)

Aborted babies as organ donors anyone?

2009-03-18T16:21:00.005+08:00

This bone-chilling suggestion was given by Sir Richard Gardner, an 'advisor to the Royal Society and the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority' at an Oxford International Biomedical Center.

Another professor interviewed, Stuart Campbell, said he had no objection, since "if they are going to be terminated, it is a shame to waste their organs."

While this is horrifying and morally repugnant on so many levels, it comes as no surprise. Ironically, the argument of the "pro-choice" crowd is that it is no baby but 'a blob of tissues' that is being removed from its mother's womb. How can a 'blob of tissues' conveniently have organs that might go to many patients on the transplant waiting list?

Read the article here.

Once the baby is not treated as a person, it becomes either a property of its mother, or creatures made in the lab. Whatever happens next is anybody's guess.

Rosary Widget: crossing a milestone!

2009-03-18T10:44:00.004+08:00

It's always an amazing discovery when you realize someone else is linking to your product without you asking your friends to do it :) (OK, enough narcissism for the day!)

The Rosary Widget, I just found out, has been made available for download from several websites, other than the original Yahoo! widget home. Technically, it is a form of content-leeching. But hey, since it is free anyway, they can do that even if none of these sites have asked for permission from the author.

They are linked from here:
http://www.widgipedia.com/widgets/search/tag/rosary (338 downloads)
http://www.brothersoft.com/rosary-202981.html (111 downloads)
http://www.softpedia.com/get/Windows-Widgets/Widget-Miscellaneous/Rosary.shtml (467 downloads)
http://widgets.yahoo.com/widgets/rosary (4,353 downloads)

In total, more than 5,000 people have downloaded the Rosary widget since it is first released! I hope it has helped many to discover the Rosary and pray it more fervently :)

OK, here's the end of this short post to encourage you to pray the Rosary this Lent. If you have been praying, please keep it up and remember to pray for me ;) If you have not, what are you waiting for?

A note from the desert

2009-03-16T07:38:00.002+08:00

How's your Lent going? I dread this question, although my spiritual director had not asked this to me, as of today... I must confess this Lent has been difficult. Not that I've ever experienced an "easy" Lent. It's only slightly more than a week; and I'm already thinking of all the sharp and sarcastic things I could say after Lent, the things I could do after Lent, all the things I could allow myself to imagine after Lent. Unbelievable!

And then the moment of epiphany came when I read in one of Adoro's posts (in which she wrote about her discernment) that she hasn't been able to "give up sins" for Lent as she had planned. Duh! My first reaction was, how can we give up sinning for Lent when our feet are made of clay? And what's with this "attachment" to sins? I first encountered "attachment to sins" while reading about indulgences and conditions to gain the indulgences. Duh! Can anyone be attached to sins? How silly...

What an abrupt awakening I had when I realize that I too am attached to my sins. Attached to all those things that I told myself not to do during Lent. To these judgments, to these remarks that 'put people in their place', to these private thoughts that my way is the only correct one... The sharp retort that I swallowed back had no place neither during Lent nor after. Rich!

Embarrassment aside, thinking more deeply beyond a little suffering that we Catholics customarily allow ourselves during Lent, it makes no sense at all to be believing the way I had been acting. It makes no sense to tell myself to wait until Lent is over..., because Lent is not a period of self-imposed suffering that the Church made us go through. We have come to the desert voluntarily. Well, to a certain degree. When I consider how we have come freely to enter the Catholic Church, I remind myself how I *did* sign up for all these.

On the other extreme, before you examine how many donuts you did not pass, or how many times you said the rosary today, if you think your Lent has been going badly, let's take a look at the Mass reading from Monday 3rd Week of Lent, on the cure of Namaan, the Syrian (2 Kings 5:1-15ab):

Namaan, a commander in the Syrian army of the King of Aram, was struck with leprosy. His Jewish maid-servant suggested that he goes to Elisha the prophet, to ask for cure. Thus, with a letter from the king, and endowed with treasures in gold & silver, he went to Israel seeking for a cure. Elisha told him to bathe in the Jordan seven times, and this was met by a ludicrous response. Fortunately, he had wise servants who made him see the value of trying out this suggestion. He bathed, was cured and came back not only cured but enriched with the faith in the One God.

His story is amazing for its lesson in faith and humility: whenever we are tempted to think that God is asking us to do 'great acts' (of penance) to 'be cured' during Lent, only to be discouraged when we inevitably fall. For our lives, for whatever it is worth, are composed of 'little moments' of struggle fortified with grace. There is no shame in falling and rectifying all over again, since we know that Jesus had already won the battle.

For the Holy Father...

2009-03-12T19:40:00.002+08:00

I read the (English translation of the) letter of the Holy Father to the bishops, concerning the controversy surrounding the lifting of the excommunication of the 4 Lefebvrite bishops and the seemingly anti-Semitic statement made by one of them, released yesterday.

It was lucid, concise and brilliant, as usual :) But also heart-breaking to read (for me). In it he explained the rationale behind the lifting of the excommunication, what it meant and what it did not imply, what it effectively did for these separated brothers as well as what it cost him:

I was saddened by the fact that even Catholics who ultimately could have known better how things stand, have thought it necessary to strike at me with a hostility ready to attack.
...
Sometimes one has the impression that our society needs at least one group for which it does not reserve any tolerance; which one can unperturbedly set upon with hatred. And if someone dares to approach them - in this case the Pope - he too loses the right to tolerance and even he may be treated with hatred without fear and restraint.

Pray for him and show our support for him! Ora pro pontifice!

"What to Do if Your Startup Is Failing"

2009-03-12T11:39:00.003+08:00

I used to think (well, I still do sometimes) that nobody likes failure and even more so, nobody likes to talk about failure. I must admit, that must have come from my own deep-seated insecurities :)

Jason Calacanis wrote in BusinessWeek, somewhat philosophically, but managing to be practical about the whole thing, about "What to Do if Your Startup Is Failing".

Coming from a first-timer scrawny start-up, I will say that my company has never been far from "flailing", and what Calacanis wrote has been somewhat the way of life around here. Even if you are not a flailing entrepreneur (perhaps you're just a flailing student, or a flailing office worker, or a flailing member of the Communion of Saints!), Calacanis' essay is still worth a read about how to handle such a difficult situation.

Relaunching Catholic Mobile Prayerbook

2009-02-25T21:28:00.028+08:00

Mobile Prayerbook

... that even the Pope wants!
(if he only knew...)

Click here for FREE Download! (While Lent lasts!)

What is it?

It is a small mobile application containing the common basic prayers that Catholics commonly say. From your all-time favorite "Our Father" to various devotions you can think of.

Why would I need Catholic Mobile Prayerbook?

For those times that you have to wait, it is a handy aide to help you pray. It'd be useful also when you forget the Act of Contrition in the middle of the confessional booth. Also, when you are asked to say grace before meal. Or to lead any prayer. Wherever. Whenever. One doesn't need a reason to pray. But this app makes sure you have NO excuses for NOT praying.

What prayers are available inside?

The basics: Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be.
Devotions to Our Lady: Memorare, Angelus, Hail Holy Queen, Rosary
Daily Prayers: Morning Offering, Spiritual Communion, Apostles' Creed, Prayers before & after meal, Thanksgiving
Special Prayers: Act of Contrition, Adoro te Devote, Prayers for the pope, Te Deum, Prayer to St Michael the Archangel.

To request for more prayers to be made available, write me.

What languages is it available in?

English, Español (Spanish), Latin, and Bahasa Indonesia.
Coming Soon: Francais, Italiano and Deutsch.

For more information on how to install and whether it will install on your phone, go here

"Remember you are dust..."

2009-02-25T16:56:00.004+08:00

Lent is here once again.

That time of the year in which the Church spends forty days in the desert (so to speak) is here and I'm putting down a few resources for those coming here to look for "Lenten homilies":

Click HERE for this year's Lenten message from Pope Benedict.
From an article by a Benedictine about just what is to be gained by "giving something up" for Lent?
From the website of the North American College in Rome, explanation of the ancient devotion of the "Lenten stational churches". Each of the 44 churches are listed, along with their history and some pictures.
Godzdogz provides a "virtual Lenten retreat" being posted on the internet by a group of Dominican students. Each day during Lent, a new entry will appear with scriptural readings, reflections, etc.

Wishing all of you a blessed & joyful Lent ahead.

So your child has a vocation...

2009-02-23T10:13:00.004+08:00

I found this story when browsing the Dominican sisters' website Moniales.

So, your child has vocation. Congratulations! He or she has told you about the desire to enter a seminary, cloister, order, or monastery. This is wonderful news. You thank God for this gift to the Church; you make telephone calls to family and friends to announce the news. You find yourself busy with all that this decision entails. Eventually, in the days and weeks that follow you also find yourself pausing over a cup of coffee, lingering over your rosary beads and you find yourself saying to yourself, “What does this mean to me?”

It is really beautiful and moving to hear from someone whose child is called to serve God exclusively. I've never thought about how what they must be going through...

Blessings and grace to them :) Now they have powerful intercessors in the parents of St Therese of Child Jesus, Blesseds Louis and Zélie Martin.

A road to Damascus

2009-02-15T19:14:00.006+08:00

After last month's retreat, which took place on the days during which we celebrated the conversion of St Paul, I have been eager to read about conversions to the Christian faith. I am currently reading two books, "The Road to Damascus" a collection of conversion stories compiled by John O'Brien, and another one, "Theology and Sanity" by Frank Sheed.

The first one tells of many paths different people took to arrive at Rome, and the second, of the role of intellect in our spiritual life. I happened to read these, as I commemorated the 13th anniversary of my first communion. (I know, how sentimental it sounds to be remembering dates like these!) After all, I waited almost seven months to receive communion after my baptism, and couldn't help constantly thinking that the craziest thing I have ever done was to convert to Catholicism. Reading these two, I was struck anew with an even greater marvel at the abundant grace behind each conversion.

From Theology and Sanity, I read Sheed's defense of the importance, if not necessity, of having solid intellect in order to love God:

"It would be a strange God who could be loved better by knowing less.
...
Love of God is not the same as the knowledge of God; but if a man loves God knowing little about Him, he should love God more from knowing more about Him; for every new thing known about God is a new reason for loving Him."

Indeed, reading each person's conversion story made me marvel anew at the great mercy of God who brought us home through the least expected path. In all, however, Reason was instrumental. I have been asked several times, to tell my conversion story, and each time, I discovered something new, yet another moment where grace surged in to 'lift' Reason where it could not rise to the occasion. Recently I realized that conversion is a work of a lifetime, that we are invited to keep "turning back to God" after every inadvertent fall, and that every 'new' truth I learn about God help me to grow in love and to fight for this Love once more.

Evelyn Waugh, the famous English author who wrote Brideshead Revisited (among other excellent works), wrote that he "lost" his Anglican faith through a well-meaning Anglican bishop who explained that none of the books in the Bible were written by their supposed authors and invited his students to speculate on the nature of Christ the way 4th-century heretics had. This experience convinced me afresh of the importance of having solid intellect to strengthen our faith; lest in our moments of weakness our will, the other human faculty, falters. He did however, have a high esteem for the supernatural efficacy sacraments of the Church, speculating that if he had been a Catholic boy in his childhood, "fortified" with the sacraments and securely watched over by someone sensible in a Catholic school, he would never have abandoned his faith. (Little did he know...)

"However learned you are in theology, nothing you know amounts to anything in comparison with the knowledge of the simplest actual member of the communion of Saints" -- Evelyn Waugh

Another person who found her way to the communion of saints was a self-proclaimed atheist journalist, Gretta Palmer. Her story really highlighted the struggle of an atheist to accept Truth like a sunshine through a small crack in an 'atheist cell'. Truth has this quality to shine from under the dirtiest facade. Palmer wrote of her "confusion" in her quest to perfect men; not being able to explain why it was not possible to socially engineer a perfect society, naively assuming that hostility towards one another can be cured as one treats as a physical malaise. "Original sin" was the answer given by a priest when she asked him. Her 'scientific' quest for the fons of 'goodness' took her to battle-weary soldiers, giving themselves completely in spite of all the suffering and behaving in utmost noble manner. Interested in social engineering? Palmer wrote that she had a fantasy of becoming Madam "Secretary of Social Evolution", but was soon disabused of this notion on her trip to China when, amidst great suffering and valor of the soldiers, she realized that the most 'useful' thing she could do was to pray for the soldiers. Once again, Reason rules and she soon ran into an inconsistency -- why pray, and to whom does one pray, if there is no God?

"When atheist scientists attempt to study man, they undertake an 'intellectual absurdity'. Man, studied as a creature separated from the God who is constantly communicating with him, can never be understood." -- Gretta Palmer

Reason alone does not provide meaning to one's life. Fulton Oursler, another whose story is featured in The Road, a playwright behind the radio program The Greatest Story Ever Told, lost his childhood Protestant faith and while being an agnostic, thought that science was the only true 'religion', until he concluded that they had "no head for synthesis [and] no heart for seeking a meaning in life." This reminds me of an anecdote told by Cardinal George Pell to an audience of (presumably Catholic) scientists about what "hell" possibly could be for scientists. It sounds something like this: a place where all facts could be known simply by looking it up on a book somewhere on its vast shelves, where all the instruments to measure any kind of thing or to observe any kind of phenomenon are available for use, where all the scientific unknowns could be found out by simply asking. And yet, there is no meaning behind all that. There is no reason to want to know why the number p is transcendent. No reason to know why space-time continuum is affected by mass. No reason to know how old the Universe is. No reason to know how many Universes are there. No reason to know anything at all, if God is not. Truly, speaking as someone who considers her profession "scientific", I am horrified at the prospect of ending up in such hell.

I don't recall exactly how I found my way to the Church, but there is always too much mystery for me -- I'd rather fall on my knees in thanksgiving than to analyze it -- but I'll end off this 'segment' of the Road quoting Fulton Oursler:

"Everyone who faces the blinding light of the Damascus road sees things in himself that he will never tell. On the other hand, I do believe that every man blessed with the gift of faith owes it to his fellow man to tell what he can of his conversion, in the hope that someone else may get from the story a glimpse, a little bit of help, and find for himself the same release."

Omnia cooperantur in bonum

2009-01-30T19:20:00.004+08:00

"Scimus autem quoniam diligentibus Deum omnia cooperantur in bonum his qui secundum propositum vocati sunt sancti"—Romans 8:28

And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints.

Today I cannot write anything much, but this verse from St Paul kept coming back to console me and I ask whoever reads this to say a little prayer for me. Thank you.

4 SSPX bishops "Un-Excommunicated"!!!

2009-01-29T12:29:00.003+08:00

I just came back from a retreat over the weekend, and wondering if we have "missed" any big news, either from Singapore or from the world. Can you imagine my surprise when I read, from a blog, that Rome had lifted the excommunication sentence from the 4 bishops of the 'notorious' SSPX???

All week our priest spoke of St Paul as our 'role model' on various topics in the retreat. We also had prayed for "Christian Unity" 8 days before the feast day of his conversion. But this is more than I imagined the 'gift' would be!

Deo gratias!

Hot off the 'oven'

2009-01-20T13:29:00.026+08:00

I'm raising funds to go to grad school this Fall. I'm putting up "Catholic Mobile Prayerbook" - available for download here.

What is Catholic Mobile Prayerbook?

It is a small mobile application containing the common basic prayers that Catholics commonly say. From your all-time favorite "Our Father" to various devotions you can think of.

Why would I need Catholic Mobile Prayerbook?

What prayers are available inside?

The basics: Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be.

Devotions to Our Lady: Memorare, Angelus, Hail Holy Queen, Rosary

Daily Prayers: Morning Offering, Spiritual Communion, Apostles' Creed, Prayers before & after meal, Thanksgiving

Special Prayers: Act of Contrition, Adoro te Devote, Prayers for the pope, Te Deum, Prayer to St Michael the Archangel.

To request for more prayers to be made available, write me

What languages is it available in?

English, Español (Spanish), Latin, and Bahasa Indonesia.

Coming Soon: Francais, Italiano and Deutsch.

Does Prayerbook support my phone?

Prayerbook is developed on Java ME Platform. Nearly all recent mobile phones support Java ME. Check here to make sure.

How do I install it?

If you click the download link below, it'll take you to a payment page, and then ask you for your phone number.

Enter your cell phone number as requested: Your country code, followed by your cell phone number.

Eg: 441223472777 (if you live in the UK), or 6598765432 (if you live in Singapore).

As soon as you enter your phone number, an SMS is sent with a link to the file.

Click on the link to download the file.

If permission is asked to open/run the file, do allow it: select "Yes".

That's it!

How big is it?

Depending on the version you download, it ranges between 60-80KB. That should translate to less than a dollar to download via your phone. If you'd like to save money on the download cost, download it to your computer and send it via Bluetooth!

It says installation was successful but I can't find it!

On different phones, Java applications are stored at different places. On most Nokia phone, click the Menu to see all the installed applications. Sometimes it will be shown under "Game", or "Application", or "Installations". On Samsung phone, do check out "Java World".

If you really can't figure it out, email me your phone brand and model, and the name of the file you downloaded.

How much does it cost?

A single-language version costs $1.99, a two-language version costs $3.00 and all-languages version costs $5.00.

To promote this amongst the Indonesian-speaking people, the Bahasa Indonesia version is now FREE!

Why do I have to pay?

As much as I'd really like to encourage people to pray, I need to raise some funds to go to grad school. So *PLEASE* support my fundraising effort! (The story of why I am going to grad school is topic for another post -- if you'd like to know, mail me)

For free download, I have made available a Rosary widget for Yahoo! Widget. Get it here.

I'm also available for any freelance work to develop web widgets, desktop widgts, mobile widgets, and mobile applications. Drop me a line if you'd like to help me put through grad school!

Download Section

To have me email it to you:

To Download directly to your phone: (pay via your mobile phone bill)

Learning Tip: document your steps!

2009-01-20T11:05:00.002+08:00

These past few days I have been working on a little mobile app (J2ME / Java ME) that displays the various Catholic prayers and devotions. Simple stuffs like "Pater Noster" all the way to the mysteries of the rosary, and thanksgiving prayers, in multiple languages.

It started out pretty simply, and the complication happened only when I had to 'versionize' the source code and the resources used by different language versions. Some versions should be able to handle multiple-language requests from the user, some display only one language of choice.

Two problems: versioning and internationalization.

Internationalization has always been an interesting topic for most application developers because frankly, few of us bother to provision for Unicode display until the product is almost ready. Then began the scramble to make the application accommodate the havoc wreaked by the different encoding the input came in.

Versioning problems came about because I did not use CVS. Period. Well, there's more to the story than that, but bottomline is, there are existing tools that can track your files' changes.

During the course of this project, I have learned that Ant (which is the build tool I use to compile J2ME applications) is extremely nifty with multiple compilation paths. A little familiarity is required with the Ant build file, and more curiosity, to learn the various types of variable and property that are used to signal different customization and compilation paths.

For example (in J2ME Polish):

The element <sources> can be customized to point to different folders for different versions. So instead of re-naming your public classes, MyMIDlet_v1 or MyMIDlet_v2, you can stick with the same name in different folders.

The element <jarName> can contain references to other variables or properties, to be something like: "prayer-${polish.name}-${polish.locale}-${TwoLangCombi}.jar"

Those variables and properties can combine to indicate which resources folder you would like to use when compiling for a particular locale, or particular screen size, or particular handset brand.

Why am I writing this?
I have suffered greatly because I did not learn to use these 'best practices' in my daily work! I hope anyone of you who happens to read this and understand may benefit from my suffering and this little note ;)

Rogate!

2009-01-10T12:37:00.011+08:00

From the same book, The Soul of the Apostolate, I read a couple of stories of holy priests, both brilliant preachers, who each did seemingly "extraordinary" prayers and penances before their engagement commenced: a Father Lacordaire spent a long time before giving homilies and had himself scourged upon returning from the pulpit, while a Father Monsabre, was known to say all 15 decades of the Rosary on his knees before speaking at Notre Dame. When asked, he reportedly said that he was taking his "last dose of tonic".

Like many saints before them, these people have discovered the 'secret' to their 'success', in this case, in doing the apostolate of Christ, is to be found "at the foot of the Cross". Dom Chautard further added, that the Apostles were not asked to go to school in Athens, nor to study in Rome under the Caesars on how to conquer and govern empiers. Techniques of organization and fundraising and church-building and putting up school were not mentioned either. Only one thing is necessary: "Rogate" (Pray ye!).

Another modern apostle echoed the same sentiment, this time while encouraging us to have recourse to the Author of Grace Himself in the Blessed Sacrament:

It is impossible in human language to exaggerate the importance of being in a chapel or church before the Blessed Sacrament as often and for as long as our duties and state of life allow.
What I am expressing is not a pious practice or a luxury of the spiritual life. I am talking about its essence. Those who believe what I am saying and act on their belief are in possession of the greatest treasure available to man in this valley of tears. As by now thousands of saintly men and women have testified from experience, this is somewhere near the key to holiness. For this reason, I strongly recommend that each of us make a resolution -- no matter how much the decision may cost us -- to make a holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament exposed or reserved at least once a month or, if possible, once a week, and if we have the grace and our vocation in life permits it, even several times a week. Think of the empty hours that people spend weekly before the television screen -- an average I am told of some twenty hours per man, woman and child in America.
Someone may object, "But you are talking about mystics or saints, and I am neither. I am just an ordinary Catholic trying to save my soul." My reply: there can be no ordinary Catholics today, not with the revolution through which society is passing and the convulsion in the Church on every level. The Church today needs strong Catholics, wise Catholics, Catholics who are not swayed by public opinion or afraid to stand up for the truth. She needs Catholics who are willing to suffer for their convictions and, if need be, shed their blood for the Faith."

Read Fr Hardon's article here and an excerpt of The Soul of the Apostolate here.

Review: The Soul of the Apostolate

2009-01-07T19:13:00.004+08:00

Happy New Year everybody! I know it is kind of 'early' to write about anything that says "you are dust and to dust you will return" - considering that Christmas season is still around for a few more days - but this is one inspiring writing quoted in the book I'm reading currently The Soul of the Apostolate, on the primacy of God in everything, and principally in the apostolic endeavor:

"[The apostle] acts as though success depended entirely on his own activity, but in point of fact he expects it from God alone.
...
He is always ready to say: 'O my God, Thou dost not will that the work I have begun should be completed. It pleases Thee that I confine myself acting valiantly, yet ever peacefully, to making efforts to achieve results, but that I leave to Thee alone the task of deciding whether Thou wilt receive more glory from my success, or from the act of virtue that failure will give me the opportunity to perform. Blessed a thousand times be Thy holy and adorable Will, and may I, with the help of Thy grace, know just as well how to repel the slightest symptoms of vain complacency, if Thou shouldst bless my work, as to humble myself, and adore Thee if Thy Providence sees fit to wipe out everything that my labors have produced.'"

Is Christ in my city? Is Christ in my country?

2009-01-06T17:33:00.001+08:00

Following up after the last post, I realized this Christmas, while spent also in the heat of Jakarta, is unique, like it has always been. My sister and I took the afternoon flight on Christmas Day and arrived before 3 o'clock in Jakarta. Apart from the usual spartan decoration of the airport and the occasional Christmas-themed advertisement billboards, there was little else to indicate that it was Christmas.

My dad was waiting for us with a huge smile on his face. My mom, as usual, was supervising wholesale distribution of all kinds of beverage at her 'shop' - come rain or shine, Christmas or no. So we spent Christmas at the 'shop', waiting for her business to conclude for the day and had a quiet dinner.

Grace awaited us
My confessor had reminded me to remember to pray while 'on vacation', so I went home with a little apprehension lest the laxity of being on vacation at home makes us forget Him. This year though, Grace came in a form of a person :) It was a friend studying in the university in Singapore, who also spent her Christmas with her family, in another city in Indonesia.

Daily she would text me with a short snippet of what is happening to her and around her. Inevitably it would contain a prayer request, a concrete reminder for me to not forget to say my prayers. Her first text message echoed my silent lament: In Singapore we were positively inundated with Christmas decoration at every corner of every shopping mall, albeit for commercial purposes. For a self-proclaimed secular country with a Muslim majority like Indonesia, Christmas atmosphere was strikingly absent.

A few years ago, I would have "complained" and told myself that it is not my fault if I can't "feel" Christmas back at home. If I did not feel particularly charitable nor joyful during these diebus nativitatis, I would have attributed it to the lack of Christmas atmosphere. I was naive and silly, indeed, for wasn't Christ born for all of us in the whole world? Not only for those who were fortunate enough to live in countries that celebrate Christmas properly.

Looking back at the story of my own conversion, I realize that Indonesia and Indonesian Christians have the missionaries to thank. It is these silent martyrs and heroes who, perhaps inspired to bring the joy of Christmas to the pagan East, brought the Good News to my country. The joy of Christ was not meant to stay only in Bethlehem, nor in Palestine, nor in Europe. In the stifling heat of Indonesia, Christ is proclaimed.

Soon night fell and my sister & I found myself waiting in darkness in the car with the radio singing quiet tunes. My parents were out buying the next day's supplies for their 'shop'. I could hear my sister's thoughts echoing my own and my friend's: what a way to spend Christmas day! Suddenly, as if upon a cue, the radio played a most beautiful rendition of Ave Verum Corpus! I didn't cry, but I must confess I leapt with joy upon hearing that hymn, for it was balm to a drooping spirit.

No matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, I know that Christ is in Indonesia, Christ is in my city, and Christ is in my family!

'Twas the night before Christmas...

2009-01-06T15:39:00.002+08:00

Here's wishing everyone a very joyful Christmas! And a happy New Year!

This post comes really, really late. I had been wanting to write before Christmas; but the days before Christmas were really busy and before we know it, the Christmas season is coming to an end this Sunday.

Every year Christmas brings a new wonder in my life. I don't ever recall spending two Christmases alike!

The Saturday before Christmas, my housemates and I threw a party. It was a pleasant surprise when I 'met' an old friend of mine online, and she agreed to come. While inviting your friends to a party through an IM client is not unusual, it is still a pleasant surprise to chat with her at last, because I haven't logged on to any IM in half a year, and I haven't seen this friend in at least 8 years! We hit it off as if we were never apart.

This year, I was asked to play the organ for the Christmas Midnight Mass. Since the usual musician was away, I had to agree and because it has been many years since I last played the keyboard, I was unquestionably apprehensive. To play for an audience was bad enough, but to play for Jesus in the Mass, and a solemn Latin mass at that, is even worse. So for a week before Christmas, we scrambled to put together the repertoire of songs appropriate for the occasion.

Soon the Christmas eve was here! Since our singing voices refuse to align to our ears, we had to transpose some of the songs so as to avoid breaking any glasses in the chapel. I discovered that music softwares are amazing! (I used Notation Composer) All I need to do was to load a MIDI file, and lo and behold, the score is nicely written out. A few more clicks and it is magically transposed to whichever chord you desire! Another click allowed me to annotate the score with the right chords. It really saved the day.

As for the Mass itself, I looked back to it with awe. We sang Puer Natus, Adeste Fideles, and all the sung parts in the style of Missa de Angelis. I personally spent two days practising those songs and 'finding' the right chords, and four weeks of Advent to welcome the Child who is our savior. Although my ears are better than my fingers and suffered much listening to my own crude playing, I must say I am very happy to be able to play for Him that night ;)

Break from 'serious' blogging

2008-12-22T09:23:00.003+08:00

Taking a break from Advent solemnity, this blog decides to publish something light & 'unserious' as my writing apparently is 'complex'!

INTP - The Thinkers

The logical and analytical type. They are especially attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications.

They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about.

Yeah right, short for: people don't really understand what you're writing about. So we'll call it complex!

Here's another snapshot of what the author's brain supposedly looks like when she's writing here:

Three more days to Christmas, people! Rejoice!

Adult stem cells for animals?

2008-12-09T15:34:00.003+08:00

No, no, not adult human stem cells for animals, but homologous adult stem cells for the animal itself. So says this article, about an elderly dog with arthritis in his leg.

According to the website of the firm that extracted the multipotent 'stem cells' from the fats tissue of the dog cured, adipose-derived 'regenerative cells' are more readily available than those taken from the bone marrow, and seem to be effective in repairing muscle and cartilage damages in those animals treated. Also, it seems like the application of the treatment is fairly straightforward: simple injection of the stem cells harvested, directly to the site of injury.

So one wonders again, why is there so much emphasis given to embryonic stem cells research when we could focus our attention to what has been proven to work?

The Immaculate Conception: our bearer of hope!

2008-12-08T15:31:00.005+08:00

Today we celebrate the feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary. It is a feast that some have anticipated for the last nine days in a novena; but its primary theme is thanksgiving, thanksgiving to the Trinitarian God. Every year it is celebrated during Advent, which gives this celebration a solemn flavor.

Someone once said that hell trembles at Mary's fiat. I'd add that "something flashed in the air" when the Immaculate Conception took place. For it is a divine move, in response to man's fallen state, and is something totally unmerited. Like all occasions of grace, it is first initiated by God.

Mary, bearer of our hope, is also the throne of grace, the star of the sea. Our pope Benedict XVI wrote a beautiful prayer to Mary, in the closing of his 2nd encyclical Spe Salvi:

"Ave maris stella. Human life is a journey. Towards what destination? How do we find the way? Life is like a voyage on the sea of history, often dark and stormy, a voyage in which we watch for the stars that indicate the route. The true stars of our life are the people who have lived good lives. They are the lights of hope. Certainly, Jesus Christ if the true light, the sun that has risen above all the shadows of history. But to reach him we also need lights close by — people who shine with his light and so guide us along our way. Who more than Mary could be a star of hope for us?"

Afterwards, our Pope reiterated that Mary, of all people, suffered what seemed like a betrayal of promises made to her by the prophecies, but her faith was one that shone even in the darkest moments below the Cross of her son.

In this solemn season of Advent, let us enkindle our hope for salvation looking to Mary, the first fruits of grace, who trusted Him, cuius regni non erit finis.

The Pope's Message for Advent

2008-12-01T09:59:00.002+08:00

We have a very good teacher in our Papa Benedict XVI. This is what he says about Advent and time:

Today, with the First Sunday of Advent, we begin a new liturgical year. This fact invites us to reflect on the dimension of time, which has always greatly fascinated us. Following the example of what Jesus liked to do, I would like to start from a very concrete experience: We all say "I don't have time" because the rhythm of daily life has become too frenetic for everyone. The Church has "good news" to announce about this too: God gives us his time. We always have little time. Especially in regard to the Lord, we do not know how to find him, or, sometimes, we do not want to find him. And yet God has time for us!

This is the first thing that the beginning of a liturgical year makes us rediscover with an ever new wonder. Yes: God gives us his time, because he has entered into history, with his Word and his works of salvation, to open it to eternity, to make it into a covenant history. From this perspective time is already, in itself, a basic sign of God's love. It is a gift that man can, like everything else, appreciate or, on the contrary, squander; he can grasp its meaning, or neglect it with obtuse superficiality.

Read his Angelus message for the First Sunday of Advent here

Read his homily here.

Review: Victory Over Vice

2008-12-01T08:11:00.003+08:00

A little over a week over reading this book, I am convinced of the need of doing deeper examination of conscience, and how many ordinary situations we find ourselves in, can be occasions of sins—out of either malice or weaknesses.

To kick off Advent, here are the seven vices he mentioned, and what to keep in mind in our fight to prevail over them:

Anger
Here, as I wrote earlier, he mentioned that anger is not strictly a sin, and that rightly, it is a response to injustice. But it becomes a sin of lacking in charity, especially when we overlook the quality of mercy in dealing with the weaknesses of others.
Point to remember: that we are ignorant, hence there is room for mercy. If we have perfect knowledge, we have no excuse for our faults, thus we'd be condemned.

Envy
Here, he gave the example of an extreme case of envy—where our lack of charity once again may raise indignance instead of joy upon the eleventh hour salvation of a sinner, such as that of the good thief crucified next to Jesus.
To remember: mercy, once more!

Pride
Surely anyone who has had experience with the proud will bear witness to the truth of this statement: if my own eternal salvation were conditioned upon saving the soul of one self-wise man who prided himself on his learning, or one hundred of the most morally corrupt men and women of the streets, I'd choose the easier task of converting the hundred. Nothing is more difficult to conquer in all the world than intellectual pride. If battleships could be lined with it instead of with armor, no shell could ever pierce it.
And a strong poignant warning:
Self-praise devours merit; and those who have done good things to be seen by men, and who trumpet their philanthropies in the marketplaces, will one day hear the saddest words of tongue or pen: "Thou hast already had thy reward." (Matthew 6:2)

Sloth
Heaven is a city on a hill. Hence, we cannot coast into it; we have to climb. Those who are too lazy to mount can miss its capture as well as the evil who refuse to seek it. Let no one think he can be totally indifferent to God in this life and suddenly develop a capacity for Him at the moment of death.
'Nuff said.

Lust
Here the bishop invited us to look at Christ broken on the cross. There is a higher Love there that demands the surrender of the lower. He portrayed Mary, refugium peccatorum, as a mother whom all of us should contemplate before we do anything that can make our mothers ashamed.

Gluttony
Labor for things that endure. He showed the distinction between the fasting and dieting:
The Church fasts; the world diets. The Christian fasts not for the sake of the body, but for the sake of the soul; the pagan fasts not for the sake of the soul, but for the sake of the body.
...
Darwin tells us in his autobiography that, in his love for the biological, he lost all the taste he once had for poetry and music, and he regretted the loss all the days of his life. Nothing so much dulls the capacity for the spiritual as excessive dedication to the material.

Covetousness
On this matter, he had something to say to both the rich and the poor:
To the poor:
[Covetousness] once was monopolized by the avaricious rich; now it is shared by the envious poor. Because a man has no money in his pockets is no proof that he is not covetous; he may be involuntarily poor with a passion for wealth far in excess of those who possess.
...
There are very few disinterested lovers of the poor today; most of their so-called champions do not love the poor as much as they hate the rich. They hate all the rich, but they love only those poor who will help them attain their wicked ends.

To the rich:
[He] is a fallen man, because of a bad exchange; he might have had Heaven through his generosity but he has only the earth. He could have kept his soul but he sold it for material things.
...
When a man loves wealth inordinately, he and it grow together like a tree pushing itself in growth through the crevices of a rock. Death to such a man is a painful wrench, because of his cose identification with the material. He has everything to live for, nothing to die for. He becomes at death the most destitute and despoiled beggar in the universe, for he has nothing he can take with him.
And these, about eternity:
That disproportion between the infinite and the finite is the cause of disappointment. We have eternity in our heart, but time on our hands. The soul demands a heaven, and we get only an earth. Our eyes look up to the mountains, but they rest only on the plains.
...
Everything is disappointing except the redemptive love of our Lord. You can go on acquiring things, but you will be poor until your soul is filled with the love of Him who died on the cross for you.

I found so many insights to the human heart that it is impossible to leave this book! I think I'll make it a point to read this book again and again, especially during Advent and Lenten seasons. It'd also make a good gift for anyone this Advent.

Happy Advent to all!

Novena to the Immaculate Conception

2008-11-30T21:42:00.004+08:00

This coming December 8th, the Catholic Church celebrates one of the major feasts of Our Lady: her Immaculate Conception. I won't dwell much on it here; a prudent Google search would tell you what you need to know about this Dogma pronounced by the Church and the reasons behind it.

There are some people in the Church who anticipate this feast (like many other major feasts) by holding a Novena (which means a 9-day anticipation). This Novena traditionally means participating in the Holy Mass for 9 days until the feast day itself.

But there are many other ways to prepare ourselves for this feast. For those who find it difficult to convince their friends (or themselves!) of the good of taking the trouble of going to Mass EVERY DAY for 9 long days, there are other ways to honor our Lady. For some, it could be 9 simple Hail Marys or Memorares. For others, perhaps 9 decades of rosary. Or 9 whole rosaries. Or fixed prayers like these.

Our Lady is not known to do 'big' things in her life; only simple things done with much love. So start today!

BBC puzzles over why "many" are "keeping babies with Down's"

2008-11-25T09:38:00.005+08:00

At a glance this article is short and innocuous. The writer reports that the number of babies born with Down's Syndrome has increased between 1989 and 2006. And then it went on to puzzle over this fact, since methods used to detect Down's have improved, and the writer makes an implicit conclusion that people, conceivably and sensibly, should not "press ahead with a pregnancy" despite a positive test result.

The reasons cited for "pressing ahead" were mentioned: 20% cited that they had known somebody with Down's, 33% cited religious or anti-abortion beliefs, 30% felt life had improved for people with Down's, and almost 20% said they simply did not believe the results of the test. It was as if the article was trying to explain an inexplicable phenomenon. Not once they mentioned the fact that it is human life at stake.

It's amazing how this article managed to be callous without realizing it. "Pressing ahead", indeed!

Link here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7741411.stm

UPDATE: Check out the comments left by readers on the article.

Most are parents with a child or children with Down's Syndrome, and none of the mothers ever regret "pressing ahead" with the pregnancy! I wonder, then, just why it is those who favor eugenic abortion that seem most vocal in defense of the woman's "right". There was only one (thus far) anonymous commenter wrote that she chose to abort a baby detected with Down's out of misplaced sense of compassion—thinking that such a child would be a 'burden' to its older sibling, totally missing the point that in the families who chose to welcome the special child, life did not become burdensome but blessed and enriched instead!

Pride & Sloth

2008-11-25T09:20:00.005+08:00

Continuing with Fulton Sheen's Victory over Vice, the good archbishop has this to say about Pride:

Surely anyone who has had experience with the proud will bear witness to the truth of this statement: if my own eternal salvation were conditioned upon saving the soul of one self-wise man who prided himself on his learning, or one hundred of the most morally corrupt men and women of the streets, I'd choose the easier task of converting the hundred. Nothing is more difficult to conquer in all the world than intellectual pride. If battleships could be lined with it instead of with armor, no shell could ever pierce it.

-- Victory over Vice, Fulton J Sheen.

On a related note, pride is sometimes manifest in refusal to serve; thinking that the one asking that service of us is not 'worthy' or 'beneath us'. "If God Himself, or the President, or the Pope asks me, then and only then I would do it." From another chapter ("Sloth"), this time about our laziness to work for Heaven, he wrote this:

Heaven is a city on a hill. Hence, we cannot coast into it; we have to climb. Those who are too lazy to mount can miss its capture as well as the evil who refuse to seek it. Let no one think he can be totally indifferent to God in this life and suddenly develop a capacity for Him at the moment of death.

Where will the capacity for Him come from if we have neglected it on earth? A man cannot suddenly walk into a lecture room on higher mathematics and be thrilled with equations if all during life he neglected to develop a taste for mathematics. And a heaven of divine truth, righteousness and justice would be a hell to those who never studiously cultivated those virtues here below. Heaven is only for those who work for Heaven.

Similarly, if we have refused to serve our brothers and sisters throughout our life, it will be inconceivable that we suddenly develop a capacity to serve God in Heaven...

Ave Christus Rex!

2008-11-23T16:51:00.002+08:00

Today is the feast of Christ the King, also known as the last 'Ordinary' Sunday before Advent starts. It is not a title commonly referred to (at least not by me nor my friends), but it is one that demands response from us Christians. It is also quite a recent feast, instituted (only) in the early 20th century by Pope Pius XI.

Many years ago, I used to board with a Catholic family in Singapore. And since the lady was a catechist for children, I used to spend Saturdays preparing materials and/or artwork for the coming Sunday's catechism class. One of them, I remember clearly, was an illustration of Jesus entering Jerusalem riding on a donkey, followed by a hymn that says "we have a King who rides a donkey..." That was the extent of the significance of this feast to me then. Since then, many things have happened, to put it in brief.

Here's a King who proclaimed himself present in the least of our brothers. Here's a King who didn't shun the virgin's womb, a good King (and shepherd) who didn't shun suffering & humiliation on the Cross for the sake of saving his flock, his people. Here's a King who doesn't rule with mighty arms but with mighty love, who showed that the way to reign is by conquering one heart after another.

Is Christ really King in our life? Does Christ reign in our heart? Do I defer to Him when making decisions, when choosing between what's good and what's better, when deciding what to do with my time, with my talents, and in the way I respond to challenges?

We have a King who is victorious over the worst evil conceivable: for man to kill God. His victory should imbue all Christians with a sense of joy and optimism.

Pope Benedict XVI said, “Jesus is the Kingdom of God in person: the man in whom God is among us and through whom we can touch God, draw close to God. Wherever this happens, the world is saved.” Our Holy Father continued, "It means not losing heart in the face of resistance, adversity and scandal. It means overcoming every separation between faith and life, and countering false gospels of freedom and happiness."

Regnare Christum volumus!

Preparing for Advent: Victory Over Vice

2008-11-18T09:18:00.008+08:00

I'm currently reading a book by the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen, titled "Victory over Vice". It is a slim volume, and it lists the Seven Deadly™ sins —Anger, Envy, Lust, Pride, Gluttony, Sloth and Covetousness — and how to prevail over them.

The book began with "Anger", starting by clarifying that anger is not actually a sin, because rightly, it is a response to injustice. But the good bishop went on to explore the various causes of anger and various contexts that often self-righteously gave rise to unholy anger. He went on to discuss the many occasions where anger become occasions of uncharitability because we human are so blind to our own faults and therefore, wont to show mercy.

I'm right now reading the chapter on Envy. It is another gem. The bishop uses the example of the two thieves crucified next to Jesus, to show how envy led one to perdition and another to salvation. These two chapters have been extremely useful for my own examination of conscience.

I'll write again when I finish the book. It is highly recommended, and I personally will use this book in preparation for Advent.

Honoring Flash

2008-11-15T18:50:00.002+08:00

It's been at least TEN YEARS since I last touched programming in Flash (back then, Macromedia Flash, now it has been acquired by Adobe). It was only Flash 0.9 or earlier, and since then the explosion of the Web had also resulted in the ubiquity of Flash applications and Flash websites.

I found a great Flash tutorial here (courtesy of Kongregate Labs). Surprisingly easy to get a decent game up in less than two hours...

What's great about Flash is that its runtime ships with most browsers, and easy enough to install with those without built-in plugins. It is amazing that such marketing achievement at such a primitive (browser!) level could propel Flash into the most preferred application delivery mechanism at major social networking websites!

Your Faith or Your Life?

2008-11-03T13:29:00.006+08:00

Well, tomorrow is the Election Day in the US at last! Not being American, I reserve no comment. But being Catholic, there are obvious issues I'd been made aware of. Many bishops in the US have stood up and issued strong statements about many proclamations made by pro-abortion (self-proclaimed Catholic!) politicians and what "conscience" means when it comes to voting. I'm impressed! I don't recall such rallying in the last few US presidential elections.

Here is one of such recent ones, from Fr Z's blog (emphases and comments in red are his) :

We are edified by the courage of Eleazar and companions

By Bishop Robert Vasa
BEND — Note that Eleazar has no illusion about the practical value of his fidelity. It would not cause the king to change the law, it would not cause his friends to convert, it would not result in a miraculous intervention by God. In worldly terms, his death is useless, his resistance futile. Yet, Eleazar states the hope implicit in his willingness to die: “I will prove myself worthy of my old age and I will leave to the young a noble example of how to die willingly and generously for the revered and holy laws.” This is what it means to be a witness, a martyr. It means leaving a noble example for the encouragement, the emboldening of one’s successors.

Another example is found in the chapter immediately following the story of Eleazar. It also happened that seven brothers with their mother were arrested and tortured with whips and scourges by the king to force them to eat pork in violation of God’s law. One of the brothers speaking for the others said, “What do you expect to achieve by questioning us we are ready to die rather than transgress the laws of our ancestors.” Then follows a description of a whole series of the most horrendous tortures which these brothers endured. All the while the mother watched and encouraged her sons. The Scriptures then rightfully recognize the dignity of the mother: Most admirable and worthy of everlasting remembrance was the mother who saw her seven sons perish in a single day yet bore it courageously because of her hope in the Lord. Filled with a noble spirit that stirred her womanly heart with manly courage she exhorted each of them in the language of their forefathers. The mother was the last to die after all her sons. None of these family members was given a name. In purely secular terms we could come up with all kinds of reasons why the mother and her sons should have feigned eating pork in order to spare their lives. These seven sons could have been valuable resistance fighters. They could have raised up faithful sons and daughters to assure the survival of Israel. It could be argued that their faithfulness, which led to the destruction of the entire family, was an exercise in complete futility and even foolhardiness. Was their witness foolhardiness or was it courage?
These Old Testament examples manifested wonderful and exemplary courage. Saint Thomas positions the Cardinal Virtue of fortitude or courage between fear and daring. Courage, he says, curbs fear and moderates daring. We would be more inclined to say that courage stands between cowardice and foolhardiness. A secularist looking at martyrdom would, almost of necessity, conclude that the death is the result of foolhardiness. Such bold actions, in our current, “can’t we all just get along” mentality, will always be viewed as imprudent, politically incorrect, and misguided. Such a disdain for martyrdom and for holy boldness is nothing other than a disdain for faith; a disdain for a hope in the Lord. It is perhaps, also a symptom of the hopelessness of which Pope Benedict XVI speaks in, Spe Salvi. In the case of these Old Testament examples it is clear that each was confronted with a very definitive choice. None of us have ever been confronted with such a dramatic choice but for these Old Testament heroes it came down to this, “Your faith or your life.” In a positive sense, using Pope Benedict’s words, the question would be: “In what do you hope?” We are edified, in the best sense of that word, by the witness, the martyrdom, the courage of Eleazar and companions. We could cite many such examples from the early years of Christianity. Even in our own day, the numerous saints canonized by Pope John Paul II, many of them martyrs, is a testimony to the fact that faith-filled courage is not dead. It is a testimony that hope is not dead.
When I consider the courage of these Old Testament figures and the firm witness of other saints and martyrs I would honestly have to say of myself, “I am a coward!” There are many times when fear impedes me from acting with what could be called holy boldness. The nature of that fear which impedes is perhaps different for each of us but I hope that each of us acknowledges such fear, grapples with it and even occasionally overcomes it, at least for a time. [This bishop is hitting the nail on the head. Watch where he goes with it now.]
Unfortunately, for me, the nature of the perceived threat is so paltry that allowing it to impede correct acting can only be the result of profound cowardice. The most serious threat to my well being for acting with greater boldness has been an intimation that I will be rejected, hated, ridiculed, rendered ineffective, deprived of financial support, judged to be insensitive, misunderstood, or verbally vilified. [This is what has been aimed at the Church. It is aimed at individual priests and bishops too, to intimidate them into silence and inaction.] In other words the threats, all things considered, are quite innocuous and yet these things generate within me a variety of fears and doubts and misgivings. At times they even paralyze me into a state of cowardly inaction. [But indeed… he has overcome it here!]
It might be the perception of some that the issuance of my 2004 document, Giving Testimony to the Truth, was a courageous act. Others would classify it as foolhardiness. This is the document which required that individuals serving in a variety of Diocesan Ministries must affirm some basic tenets of the Church in order to continue to serve. It is, however, very difficult for me to see how the simple fulfillment of the episcopal duty which I have to teach could be considered an act of courage. In that I would turn to the Gospel of Saint Luke, 17:10: “When you have done all you have been commanded to do, say: We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do.” It is a rather sad commentary for our age that a simple fulfillment of duty is mistaken for a courageous act. [A very good point. He is trying, however, to put the outside pressures into perspective.]
It might be a perception that my boldness regarding pro-abortion politicians is courageous but in truth I only follow the lead of those who exemplify a boldness far greater than my own. [Well said.] The bold speaking out on the part of Archbishop Raymond Burke regarding the contentious issue of Catholic pro-abortion politicians and Holy communion emboldens cowards like me to follow his example. [God love this man.] The firm and measured response of Cardinal Egan and a variety of other Archbishops and Bishops to misleading statements of the Speaker of the House emboldens others, like myself, to shake off the shackles of fear and to stand with them.

Pope Benedict XVI on the Rosary

2008-10-28T16:45:00.003+08:00

In the last days of the month of October, here comes an insight from our Papa about the Rosary (emphases mine):

Rosary Is Anchored in Holy Scripture
VATICAN CITY, 19 OCT 2008 (VIS) - Before praying the Rosary at 5 p.m. today with faithful gathered at the Shrine of the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Holy Rosary at Pompeii, Italy, Benedict XVI paused for a few moments in the chapel of Blessed Bartolo Longo. Subsequently, in remarks he made following the Marian prayer, the Pope asked: "Where did this great apostle of Mary find the energy and constancy necessary to achieve such an important enterprise? Was it not in the Rosary which he welcomed as a true and heartfelt gift from the Virgin?

"Yes," he cried, "that is how it was! ... This popular Marian prayer is a vital spiritual means to increase our intimacy with Jesus and to learn, in the school of the Blessed Virgin, always to carry out the divine will."

"Yet in order to be apostles of the Rosary, it is necessary to gain a personal experience of the beauty and profundity of this prayer, so simple and universally accessible. ... The Rosary is a school of contemplation and of silence. At first sight it may seem like a prayerful accumulation of words and hence not easily compatible with the silence which is rightly recommended for meditation and contemplation. In reality though, this regular repetition of the Ave Maria does not disturb inner silence, rather it ... nourishes it."

The Pope recalled that, as in the case of the Psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, "silence rises up through the words and phrases, not as a vacuum but as a presence of ultimate meaning which transcends the words themselves and, together with them, speaks to the heart. ... Even when prayed in large groups ... the Rosary must be seen as a contemplative prayer, and this cannot come about if an atmosphere of inner silence is lacking." Furthermore, he went on, the Rosary "is interwoven with elements from Holy Scripture" such as "the enunciation of the mystery using ... words taken from the Bible. ... The first part of the Ave Maria comes from the Gospel; ... the second part ... rings out like the response of children who, addressing themselves imploringly to their mother, express their own adherence to the plan of salvation. ... Thus the minds of those who pray remain anchored in Scripture and in the mysteries it contains."

Finally, Pope Benedict spoke of World Mission Day, which is being celebrated today. Once again he evoked the figure of Barotlo Longo who, famous for his spirit of charity, wished the shrine of Pompeii to be "open to the whole world as a centre whence to irradiate the prayer of the Rosary and a place of intercession for peace among peoples. Dear friends," the Pope concluded, "I wish to confirm both these goals - the apostolate of charity and the prayer of peace - and entrust them once more to your spiritual and pastoral efforts."

The prayer over, Benedict XVI departed from the shrine of Pompeii and at 6.30 p.m. began his return journey to the Vatican by helicopter.

And.. you don't have to believe this, but tradition held that there are 15 promises made by the Blessed Virgin to St. Dominic and Alan de Roche concerning the rosary:

1. To all those who recite my Rosary devoutly, I promise my special protection and very great graces.

2. Those who will persevere in the recitation of my Rosary shall receive some signal grace.

3. The Rosary shall be a very powerful armor against hell; it shall destroy vice, deliver from sin, and shall dispel heresy.

4. The Rosary shall make virtue and good works flourish, and shall obtain for souls the most abundant divine mercies; it shall substitute in hearts love of God for love of the world, elevate them to desire heavenly and eternal goods. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means!

5. Those who trust themselves to me through the Rosary, shall not perish.

6. Those who will recite my Rosary piously, considering its Mysteries, shall not be overwhelmed by misfortune nor die a bad death. The sinner shall be converted; the just shall grow in grace and become worthy of eternal life.

7. Those truly devoted to my Rosary shall not die without the consolations of the Church, or without grace.

8. Those who will recite my Rosary shall find during their life and at their death the light of God, the fullness of His grace, and shall share in the merits of the blessed.

9. I will deliver very promptly from purgatory the souls devoted to my Rosary.

10. The true children of my Rosary shall enjoy great glory in heaven.

11. What you ask through my Rosary, you shall obtain.

12. Those who propagate my Rosary shall obtain through me aid in all their necessities.

13. I have obtained from my son that all the confreres of the Rosary shall have for their brethren in life and death the saints of heaven.

14. Those who recite my Rosary faithfully are all my beloved children, the brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ.

15. Devotion to my Rosary is a special sign of predestination.

Now, go and pray the rosary! Even if you're busy and desk-(and computer-)bound, let rosary widgets help you to pray! (Just doin' my part to spread the rosary!)

You only need to succeed once...

2008-10-20T09:54:00.002+08:00

When I studied computer security concepts in University, I found that it was an exciting field to be in: images of late night hackers 'rattling doors' of our servers and we patching up security in an attempt to be one-up against any malicious attempts may have conjured up some adrenaline and romantic thrill. But thinking about it after the adrenaline had worn off, it was a terrible industry to be involved in, unless you have an addiction to adrenaline or heroism.

The fundamental fact of life is this: the bad guy only has to succeed once, and you on the security side, have to succeed all the other times. Nobody's going to say you've done a good job if you thwart a thousand attack attempts, but that one time that you left a vulnerability open, a thousand eyes cast blame on you.

Needless to say, I changed my mind about being in computer security. I guess I don't want to be a person who sees and speaks of different 'zones': restricted, secure, demilitarized, public; when it comes to real people and places. I don't want to live with paranoia thinking that someone's out to get us — all the time.

Once in awhile though, we hear of clever stories like this (and another retelling of the story from another angle here): of British military intelligence thwarting terrorist bomb-making factories in North Ireland. Another story linking it mentioned this story: to install a bug in a house with motion and noise sensors, they started shooting mints to the windows during thunderstorms, thereby triggering the alarm and the security people — who predictably associated thunderstorms with false alarms and began to shut off the alarm system during thunderstorm. Thus the spying party was able to drill the bug into the house wall during a thunderstorm when the alarm had been turned off. Mints were used because they quickly dissolve in the rain. Clever!

In military intelligence, the stakes are thousands of lives, civilian lives. I always thought of people working in it to be truly heroic, despite the countless times that we wish the whole transport security farce would just cease.

Defending Cathedral of Neuquen, Argentina

2008-10-11T09:48:00.003+08:00

I just saw this horrific video of a pro-abortion mob attacking youths who were defending the Cathedral of Neuquén, Buenos Aires, Argentina. The arguments said by the protesters are nothing new (except that they are in Spanish) that proper logic cannot destroy, but the vitriol is scary. Taunting, jeering, spitting, burning... they acted as if they were possessed. The defenders held their cool and kept praying Hail Mary's until the end (of the video, at least).

(It is interesting to see the comments at the end of the YouTube video)

Of monkeys and men

2008-10-09T10:57:00.005+08:00

Two monkeys are serving in a restaurant in Japan. They have learned how to serve hot towels and bottled drinks to customers, it seems! Funky!

Video link here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7654267.stm

And in other news, in India, some human have learned how to behave like monkeys to scare away the real monkeys.

Video link here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7644469.stm

Dark night in plainspeak

2008-10-08T11:08:00.012+08:00

Somehow these images remind me of this passage. Or rather, this passage reminds me of this scene in the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship movie, where the company found a dead scribe clutching a book next to Balin's tomb, recording the last moments before the goblins overran and annihilate the dwarves in the mines of Moria.

We've tried to get out of this place but so far haven't managed to do so; all out attempts have come to naught, one after another. How should we react? By not losing our peace. We should continue to use all the available means and confidently place our hope in God. In the face of this situation do we become angry or give in to impatience and ill-humor?
...
No, from the depths of this darkness I'll trust in my God. Lord, may whatever you want be fulfilled. You know what is best for me. I only want to fulfill your Will.
...
I'll use all the means, and above all prayer, the most important one. But if our prayer and activity bear no apparent fruit let's not grow impatient. Let's know how to wait and always seek our joy in that aspiration which has often brought us peace:
"Fiat, adimpleatur, laudetur et in aeternum superexaltetur iustissima atque amabilissima voluntas Dei super omnia."

New, non-invasive prenatal testing method

2008-10-07T12:11:00.002+08:00

Some researchers in Stanford had discovered that using DNA sequencing on a pregnant mother's blood, one would be able to tell whether the baby she carries is having Down's syndrome. Since it is still at experimental stage, the sample size was only nine women, with 100% accuracy.

While this is a good move to protect the baby from miscarrying (a risk that is present with amnioscentesis - a procedure that is synonymous with prenatal testing today), I think this might make it easier for pregnant women to 'screen early' (as early as 14 weeks, the study cited) for genetic disabilities in the baby and might, might, just increase their propensity to abort any less-than-healthy baby!

Article here: http://sciencenow.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/2008/1006/3

Mobile rosary anyone?

2008-10-03T09:37:00.005+08:00

So it felt like 35°C yesterday and I really wished the bus would come soon! Anyway, despite trying to forecast the arrival time of the bus from the IRIS system, I had no such luck and ended up waiting for close to 40 minutes in the sweltering heat. What's one to do? I had no interesting book with me, so I decided to pray the rosary.

The rosary, well, as any prayer, requires contemplation. It is easy to find myself already finishing the five decades without really getting into contemplation. So I whipped out my phone and started googling for "rosary reflection" on the mobile. All kinds of junk results were returned! I was frustrated beyond belief. And even those which are actually real reflections were not properly formatted for the phone screen...

"Ay, que calor!" was on the tip of my tongue. But yesterday was a good day to offer up the little suffering and a new idea is born! I'll start putting up mobile pages for reflection on the rosary. Let's see how feasible it is to do this...

Another advance in iPS research!

2008-09-26T09:07:00.002+08:00

Researchers working on induced pluripotent stem cell (iPS) have announced another breakthrough today. Earlier results showed that organs grown from retrovirally produced iPS cells in mice grew cancer very soon after. This most recent methodology "added cell-reprogramming genes to adenoviruses, a type of virus that infects cells without affecting their DNA." The adenoviruses, after producing cell-reprogramming proteins, turning the cells embryonic, departed. The goal was to produce genetically unmodified iPS cells.

Link to paper abstract here.

I'm seeing stars

2008-09-24T09:37:00.002+08:00

Most people coming to this blog aren't here to read my ramblings, here's one 'reminder-to-self' post with links of potential future interests. There are many exciting news from the tech front:

The 3G iPhone

iPhone - almost every developer's wet dream. Other than lousy battery life, lack of MMS, lack of copy-and-paste, and the fact that to use it outside AT&T you have to break the law (though the latest iPhone is now jailbroken), it's still a disproportionate leader in terms of mobile Internet traffic contributor. Also, the number of paid-apps on iTunes App store has now surpassed free ones. With 500+ apps and counting, you can't rely on stunts like "I am Rich" to get rich ;)
Google Android

The first Android phone, HTC Dream, is out now. With so many platforms available, it really makes any developer pause before committing to support a new platform. Is Android the future? Or iPhone? Or Symbian? The trends point towards the web app model. Companies everywhere are tired of releasing different versions of apps that need to work on thousands of OS & VM variants running on different phones. Write once, run anywhere? Write once, pray it'll run somewhere :) All in all it makes more sense, but not for another few more years...
Mobi-ready?

Interesting movement to make the Web (as we know it now) mobile-ready and mobile-friendly. Some sites here and here.
J2ME Security Vulnerability

Adam Gowdiak broke the JVM sandbox on J2ME architecture. Whee! This could be a cry of freedom for many J2ME developers, though it requires more than a wee bit of bytecode-level hacking to be able to commercially exploit this flaw. Also, if you can exploit this flaw, so could the malicious hackers.
Facebook Connect

Is this the "one ring to bind them all"? OpenSocial is another competitor. Much as this would be a boon for developers, I have reservations about using just one ID online. Plus Facebook wants every site to know your real name and identity.

I just came back from a trip to Vancouver, the world's capital of mobile and games developers, and San Francisco. Beautiful cities, great ideas, optimistic people!

Gratia plena

2008-08-15T21:13:00.002+08:00

In the past one month or so, the topic of "grace" has been dominating my interest and reading. It started out with a simple question during a doctrine class in which a priest was teaching a bunch of us about sacraments - and in particular, baptism. I can't recall exactly what the question was -- I think it was adherence to natural law and the merits of non-Christians -- but the reply given was like a burst of light.

In short, he explained that in his experience, conversion to the Christian faith owes most of it to grace, rather than human merit alone. So, the non-believer or those who have never encountered the faith can be saved not only because they live in a just manner, but chiefly because God gave them grace.

Grace... what is that? Although I have been a Catholic for thirteen years now, the word "grace" has only been part of my familiar vocabulary in the last one year. Partly as part of discerning my vocation, the term "grace" entered my life through the various spiritual directors and mentors. And yet, its meaning was never made clear. At best, grace is defined as "participation in divine life." As if this definition would elucidate anyone...

Since then, I searched to find out more about Grace, and found an excellent primer in Charles Journet's "Meaning of Grace". He wrote brilliantly about grace - what it is, what it is not, and the role of grace in the Catholic interpretation of what some Protestants believe of 'predestination.' Pick it up and gain a deeper appreciation for the treasure that we have in earthen vessels.

And today, as we celebrate the Assumption of Our Lady, a day that has always been graced with signs thus far, I turn my thoughts to Our Lady, Our Mother, who is full of grace, gratia plena. Her immaculate conception probably meant that she never had to struggle against resisting graces. In fact, thinking about it, all we have to do is to NOT obstruct the workings of grace in our lives. Next to the Holy Spirit, she is our best teacher when it comes to cultivating disposition towards grace. Mater divinae gratiae, ora pro nobis.

Update on the rosary widget

2008-07-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

The latest rosary widget is here... I know it has been a long time since I wrote here... here's one update I'd like to share with everyone.

What are the changes? I've put the rosary into beads-string form, and you can track your 'current bead' as indicated by a single rose. Also, I've added another link to reflection, not only to Fr Z's patristics rosary project, but to St Josemaria Escriva's Holy Rosary reflections.

You can download it from Yahoo! official Widgets Gallery here.

50 Reasons to pray the Rosary

2008-05-14T20:09:00.004+08:00

Santiago passed me this beautiful link. Been immersed in work up to my neck. Since it's the month of May; it's too good not to pass it on. Pray the rosary today!

Did you know..

2008-05-09T13:44:00.001+08:00

... that to run a console application on the phone you have to launch it using either a program like FExplorer or a remote console like QConsole? There is NO built-in way to execute a console application on Symbian.

I didn't, and spent almost an hour getting frustrated.

Lest I forget Heaven...

2008-04-30T21:41:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow is the Feast of Ascension, and it marks the start of the decenary (10-days) to the Holy Spirit. I heard this story at Mass today, and I thought to share this here:

A monk was tormented by the dilemma of Eternity--he was continuously plagued by doubts about whether he could ever be happy contemplating just God and the angels for all eternity? A thousand years, maybe.. but for all eternity? Surely, man, so accustomed to variety on this earth, shall find something amiss? One spring evening, the monk went for a walk around the monastery and found himself entranced by the beautiful song of a nightingale. After what he thought were a few hours, he returned to the monastery. Passing through, none of the monks there were familiar to him. He walked through the different rooms, surprised at what he saw and realising that something strange was happening. When he at last realized that nobody recognised him, he went to see the Prior, who was astonished and remembered that a tale went that, a few hundred years ago, a holy monk had disappeared, thought to be eaten by wild animals on one of his spring walks in the woods. The monk then understood that when one is in Heaven, an eternity seems like but a few moment.
--similar story also found here

At Holy Mass today, I once again felt I am Loved. Utterly loved and uplifted from the shadows. Time does fly when one is in love, and conversely, it seems to expand to eternity when one is not in love, or separated from Love. What a loving Father we have; who came after us even if we forget Heaven!

Tomorrow is the feast of Ascension, when we celebrate Jesus' Ascension into Heaven. We celebrate this very much with the mind to follow Him there one day!

Path to happiness: the school of Mary

2008-04-26T13:35:00.000+08:00

I'm currently reading this incredibly clear and inspiring book by George Weigel called "Letters to a Young Catholic". A dear friend had recommended it to me some years back, but I'm just recently discovering this gem.

Since I haven't finished reading, I'll just provide an excerpt from two chapters. The whole book aims to invite the reader to explore the richness of the Catholic faith and to invite us to contemplate and respond to our vocation; that call that each Christian receives from God. Weigel drew the example of St Peter and Our Lady in their discovery and the living of their faith.

In the example of St Peter, we are shown that faith in Jesus Christ starts as an encounter with Truth. And such is the quality of Truth that it demands we stake everything for its sake (vitam impendere vero).

One of the most important truths .. is this: the truth of faith is something that seizes us, not something of our own discovery (still less, our invention). The Peter who was led from Galilee to Rome did not make the journey because of something he had discovered and wanted to explore to satisfy his curiosity. Peter went from the security of his modest Galilean fishing business to the dangerous (and ultimately lethal) center of the Roman Empire because he had been seized by the truth, the truth he had met in the person of Jesus.
(p 27)
Being seized by the truth is not cost-free. "You have received without pay, give without pay," Jesus tells his new disciples, including Peter (Matt 10:8). In Peter's case, the call to give away the truth that had seized and transformed his life eventually cost him his life. And that, too, is a truth to be pondered: faith in Jesus Christ cost him his life. And that, too, is a truth to be pondered: faith in Jesus Christ costs not just something, but everything. It demands all of us, not just a part of us.
...
Peter, who has been given his new name because he is to be the rock on which the Church rests, is being told, gently but firmly, that his love for Christ is not going to be an easy thing. His love is not going to be a matter if "fulfilling" himself. His love must be a pouring out of himself, and in that self-emptying he will find his fulfillment—if not in terms that the world usually understands as "fulfillment." In abandoning any sense of his autonomy, in binding himself to feed the lambs and sheep of the Lord's flock, Peter will find his true freedom. In giving himself away, he will find himself. Freely you have received, freely you must give—if the gift is to continue to live in you.
(p 28)

Weigel also drew on the example of Mary, who remains a paragon of victory through self-giving and commitment, especially for our generation, who have seen the wreckage of 'modern loves' and have every excuse not to trust nor commit.

The first of the rosary's "mysteries" - the Annunciation - takes us back to Mary's fiat and reminds us that Mary as the first of disciples is also the pattern of Christian vocation. The Gospel tells us that Mary found the angel's greeting "troubling". And why not? But Mary's response amid her fears and doubts - Mary's fiat - vindicates the angel's greeting, that she is "full of grace". Mary doesn't' negotiate. She doesn't ask for a prematernal contract, unlike today's couples with their prenuptial agreements. Mary doesn't have an exit strategy. Mary doesn't "keep her options open." In fear and trembling, but with confidence in God's saving purposes, she gives the answer: fiat. Let it be. I am the Lord's servant and the Lord will provide.
(p 60)
...
"Keeping your options open" is not the path to happiness, wholeness - or holiness. That's an important Marian insight from the New Testament for every generation but perhaps especially for yours. We've all heard, time and again, that yours is a generation short on trust? If so, it's not hard to understand why. You've seen the wreckage caused by the sexual revolution and its dissolution of trust between men and women, both within marriage and outside of it. You've seen public officials betray their oath of office, and priests and bishops betray the vows they swore to Christ and the Church at ordination. You've seen teachers and professors betray the truth because of expediency, cowardice or an addiction to political correctness. If yours is a generation that finds it hard to trust and thus hard to "commit", that's understandable. But not persuasive.
(p 61)

He then next shows that despite our cynical propensity towards commitment, we are also drawn to figures which embodies commitment, like our Pope John Paul II of happy memory. How'd he do it? How did a priest from a Nazi-occupied and Communist-oppressed country manage to overcome the darkness that would naturally engulf anyone exposed to such suffering, to give himself totally? Weigel says, Mary is John Paul II's teacher.

Perhaps this 'trust deficit' is one of the reasons why so many young people found Pope John Paul II such a compelling figure. Here was commitment embodied in an irresistible way... Unlike popular culture, the Pope didn't pander to you - he challenged you: never settle for less than the greatness of soul that God has made it possible for you to live, because of Christ. At the same time, he demonstrated with his life that he asked of you nothing that he had not made, no struggle that he had not struggled through.

How could he do this? I think he gave the answer at Czestochowa, the great Polish shrine of the Black Madonna, Poland's most famous Marian icon in 1979. There, John Paul said, quite simply, "I am a man of great trust; I learned to be one here." I learned to trust here, in prayer before this image of Mary that draws us into the mystery of Mary's special role in the salvation history—which is the world's history, read in its true depth. I learned to trust, not in 'options' or 'exit strategies' but in the mother who always points us toward her son, toward the Christ who never fails in his promises.

That's why the inclusion of the wedding feast at Cana in the New Luminous Mysteries of the rosary is another invitation to think and pray about your vocation. Every Catholic, every Christian, has a vocation— a unique something that only you can do in the providence of God. That, too, can be disturbing thought until we recognize that that same providence will mercifully, repair and make straight whatever false steps we take in living out our vocational commitments. "Do whatever he tells you" That is Mary's message to us, as well as to the servants at the wedding feast in Cana. "Do whatever he tells you" is Mary's gentle invitation to make her fiat your own. Don't look for an exit strategy. Live in trust, not in calculation; stake everything on Christ.

In his embrace, to which Mary points us, you'll find the path to happiness, wholeness and holiness that you will never find by keeping your options open.

And all these, are just from the first few chapters! I'll continue writing as I progress through the book.

World Youth Day: fundraising

2008-04-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

I'm helping some friends to raise fund to go for the World Youth Day in Sydney. If you're interested to purchase these miniature roses (made of soap) for any occasion (Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc), do drop me a note at catholiclinuxmonkey AT gmail DOT com.

They are available at S$12 to S$20, depending on the size.

More photos here:

SMS Operations in Symbian 3rd edition

2008-04-21T17:32:00.003+08:00

Some notes of experience (most likely for my own future reference) to accompany the Wiki entry on SMS Operations. In particular, this is useful for those who are new to Symbian. The above link gave example on how to send an SMS, and delete the sent message, but the code (SmsHandler.zip) needs to be a slight tweak to make it work.

Problem Description: Usually applications that sends out SMS messages like to do so discreetly. The example given doesn't delete the SMS sent by your application?

Solution:

1. At the sending of SMS,
Change: need to put the Application UID into the SMS created at CreateMsgL()

2. At the HandleSessionEventL() for the new message to move from "Outbox" to the "Sent" folder,
Change: need to match the Application UID (inserted in step 1) -- highlighted here in the code addition for HandleSessionEventL()
case EMsvEntriesMoved: { // Entry id is obtained from the session event arguments. TMsvId* entryId = STATIC_CAST( TMsvId*, aArg2 ); // We are interested in messages that are moved to Sent Item Folder if ( *entryId == KMsvSentEntryId ) { TMsvSelectionOrdering sort; // to handle also the invisible entries sort.SetShowInvisibleEntries(ETrue); CMsvEntry* parentEntry = CMsvEntry::NewL(*iSession, KMsvSentEntryId, sort); CleanupStack::PushL(parentEntry); CMsvEntrySelection* entries = parentEntry->ChildrenL(); CleanupStack::PushL(entries); for(TInt i = 0; i < entries->Count(); i++) { // iMtmData3 here must match your application UID, in which case // variable 'KUidMsgTypeSMS' needs to be renamed accordingly if( parentEntry->ChildDataL(entries->At(i)).iMtmData3 == KUidMsgTypeSMS.iUid ) { parentEntry->DeleteL(entries->At(i)); break; } } CleanupStack::PopAndDestroy( entries ); CleanupStack::PopAndDestroy( parentEntry ); } break; } }
NOTE: there was a bug in the example given at the Wiki entry; I've changed this to help all newbies checking out this code.

Arrivederci, America!

2008-04-21T16:19:00.009+08:00

Papa Benedict XVI has said "Tschuz" to America, after almost a week visiting the two cities, Washington DC and New York City. After he met hundreds of thousands of his flock as well as other Americans, the media pretty much decided that the trip has been a success. Well, there are always those who said the Pope didn't do enough. He can't please everyone!

Meanwhile, Americans and the rest of the world (aren't we all Americans last week? With Papa Benedict's appearance all broadcast almost live to everywhere the Internet reaches, we almost were), are going to have a good number of days, weeks even, to digest what the Pope has said, and to experience the fruits of his trip.

Here's an excerpt from a brilliant speech he gave at St Joseph Seminary, where he proclaimed the importance of freedom to be rooted in truth:

... The fundamental importance of freedom must be rigorously safeguarded. It is no surprise then that numerous individuals and groups vociferously claim their freedom in the public forum. Yet freedom is a delicate value. It can be misunderstood or misused so as to lead not to the happiness which we all expect it to yield, but to a dark arena of manipulation in which our understanding of self and the world becomes confused, or even distorted by those who have an ulterior agenda.

Have you noticed how often the call for freedom is made without ever referring to the truth of the human person? Some today argue that respect for freedom of the individual makes it wrong to seek truth, including the truth about what is good. In some circles to speak of truth is seen as controversial or divisive, and consequently best kept in the private sphere. And in truth’s place – or better said its absence – an idea has spread which, in giving value to everything indiscriminately, claims to assure freedom and to liberate conscience. This we call relativism. But what purpose has a “freedom” which, in disregarding truth, pursues what is false or wrong? How many young people have been offered a hand which in the name of freedom or experience has led them to addiction, to moral or intellectual confusion, to hurt, to a loss of self-respect, even to despair and so tragically and sadly to the taking of their own life? Dear friends, truth is not an imposition. Nor is it simply a set of rules. It is a discovery of the One who never fails us; the One whom we can always trust. In seeking truth we come to live by belief because ultimately truth is a person: Jesus Christ. That is why authentic freedom is not an opting out. It is an opting in; nothing less than letting go of self and allowing oneself to be drawn into Christ’s very being for others (cf. Spe Salvi, 28).

How then can we as believers help others to walk the path of freedom which brings fulfillment and lasting happiness? Let us again turn to the saints. How did their witness truly free others from the darkness of heart and mind? The answer is found in the kernel of their faith; the kernel of our faith. The Incarnation, the birth of Jesus, tells us that God does indeed find a place among us. Though the inn is full, he enters through the stable, and there are people who see his light. They recognize Herod’s dark closed world for what it is, and instead follow the bright guiding star of the night sky. And what shines forth? Here you might recall the prayer uttered on the most holy night of Easter: “Father we share in the light of your glory through your Son the light of the world … inflame us with your hope!” (Blessing of the Fire). And so, in solemn procession with our lighted candles we pass the light of Christ among us. It is “the light which dispels all evil, washes guilt away, restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy, casts out hatred, brings us peace, and humbles earthly pride” (Exsultet). This is Christ’s light at work. This is the way of the saints. It is a magnificent vision of hope – Christ’s light beckons you to be guiding stars for others, walking Christ’s way of forgiveness, reconciliation, humility, joy and peace.

At times, however, we are tempted to close in on ourselves, to doubt the strength of Christ’s radiance, to limit the horizon of hope. Take courage! Fix your gaze on our saints. The diversity of their experience of God’s presence prompts us to discover anew the breadth and depth of Christianity. Let your imaginations soar freely along the limitless expanse of the horizons of Christian discipleship. Sometimes we are looked upon as people who speak only of prohibitions. Nothing could be further from the truth! Authentic Christian discipleship is marked by a sense of wonder. We stand before the God we know and love as a friend, the vastness of his creation, and the beauty of our Christian faith.

Dear friends, the example of the saints invites us, then, to consider four essential aspects of the treasure of our faith: personal prayer and silence, liturgical prayer, charity in action, and vocations.

...

(more good things in the full speech)

His speeches and gestures revealed much of the person he is, and his words, source of inspiration. Read all of them here.

Our Pope turns 81 today!

2008-04-16T20:59:00.007+08:00

Pope Benedict XVI celebrates his 81st birthday today, during his first visit (as a pope) to the US. His visit to the US is a major event (like almost everything else, everything is bigger in the US!) and will be covered by major media outlets.

UPDATE: At the lavish White House welcome ceremony today, he was treated with a warm welcome note from President George Bush, a few songs and then the soprano sang him an impromptu Happy Birthday for him.

Pray for him, as it must be tiring for an octogenarian to make such intense schedule in this visit! And of course, for the many fruits of his trip.

V: Oremus pro Papa nostro Benedicto!
R: Dominus conservet eum, et vivicet eum, et beatum faciat eum in terra, et non tradat eum in animam inimicorum eius.

Ad multos annos!

EWTN interview of George Bush prior to the Pope's visit

2008-04-15T16:34:00.003+08:00

While checking out EWTN's coverage of Pope Benedict XVI's first visit to the US, I saw that the US President George W Bush had agreed to an interview with EWTN prior to the visit. Out of curiosity, I streamed and watched it. It's worth watching as Bush seemed to pull many firsts for the Pope's visit: the first time a President 'picked up' a foreign dignitary at Andrews airbase, amongst other special treatments.

Watch the interview yourself here, or read the transcript here. He sounded more Catholic than any Catholic (secular) leader did. And the interview ended with this question from Raymond Arroyo, "You said, famously, when you looked into Vladimir Putin's eyes you saw his soul. [...] When you look into Benedict XVI's eyes what do you see?"; Bush answered immediately, "God." Here's an interesting excerpt:

Arroyo: Even your critics say they are amazed by you, and baffled by you, because you remain so positive, so upbeat -- (laughter) -- so on point. How much of that is a function of your faith?

Bush: Well, that's a very good question. You know, I don't think you can disassociate your faith with how you live your life. I mean, I think it's all engrained. And I am optimistic because I happen to believe in certain universal principles, and I do believe that freedom is universal, and if just given a chance, people will live in a -- will self-govern and live in a peaceful, free society.

...

And my faith has -- you know, my faith has been so sustaining in the midst of -- in the midst of what is a pretty hectic life, full of flattery and criticism. And faith keeps a person grounded. Faith reminds people that there's something a lot more important than you in life. I've been inspired by the prayers from ordinary citizens. And I have come to realize one -- more clearly the story of the calm in the rough season.

Well, not being American, I reserve no comment for her president. Yet, after this interview, Bush did come across as either a really smooth politician, or a genuinely good man who believes that "there's right and wrong in life." Whatever misgiving some might have about his presidency, I think I'll miss him after his office term ends. And once again, he did sound more Catholic than many Catholic politicians!

If you're not going to any of the events the Pope will be at, watch his trip from EWTN and pray for the many fruits of this trip!

God willing...

2008-04-11T16:06:00.003+08:00

... is a phrase that Christians (and also Muslims) use when praying to God to be delivered from a humanly impossible situation. It never ceases to be a mystery to me, this thing about God's will and the fact that we have our own will. It's a hard struggle to proceed from 'knowing' that God has a will that is good for us, to accepting and wanting our will to conform to His.

This Lent and Easter have been a period of personal purification for me. It hasn't been easy dealing with the will of God. Yesterday and today in particular have been difficult to believe that all will be well. So this article here gives solace and hope that for those who trust in God, all will be well.

Why, then, is it not enough simply to think "God knows best"? In a practical sense, since we do not know God's will, it is good to ask, without forgetting that if we are not heard, all the better, since God knows what we need better than we do.

Let us think of a mother praying beside her sick child. Even if the doctor says the little one has only a few hours to live, the mother does not give up. She keeps praying for a miracle right to the end. There is no doubt that this supplication is a real prayer. Will God blame the mother for going against the divine will? Oh, no! What God wants her to do is to go on praying with confidence; that is God's will at that moment.

There is mystery in this divine will that arouses desires it does not satisfy. It is the mystery of the cross. The fact is that the unfulfilled prayer of the mother and the death of the child were present in Christ's prayer in Gethsemane. Prayer is the cry of the poor to God, like the grass that, trodden underfoot a hundred times, still lifts up its head. As the lotus blooms on a stalk that is rooted in mud, so the prayer of Christ is rooted in the suffering of the persecuted, the helpless, the poor.

...

The uninterrupted prayer of the poor person crying out from the depths of his or her misery is worth more in God's eyes than any meditation or sublime contemplation, because it is united to the crucified Christ.

Read the short article here. And one last prayer,

De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine;

Domine, exaudi vocem meam.
Fiant aures tuæ intendentes in vocem deprecationis meæ.

Si iniquitates observaveris, Domine,
Domine, quis sustinebit?

Quia apud te propitiatio est;
et propter legem tuam sustinui te, Domine.
Sustinuit anima mea in verbo eius:
speravit anima mea in Domino.

"20 Percent of Scientists Admit Using Brain-Enhancing Drugs... Do You?"

2008-04-10T11:52:00.002+08:00

A recent online poll by the journal Nature found that 20 percent of scientists had taken drugs to boost their brains.

Now I know why I can't sit still and concentrate for a long time.. I haven't had my ritalin and adderall and ginkgo and caffeine fix of the day *deadpan*

More here; also on the April Fools' prank that set this off!

Update on the Rosary widget

2008-04-09T23:57:00.004+08:00

It's a little late.. I published an update to the Rosary widget some weeks ago. But as I'm sitting here with an unusual light-headedness trying to solve a bug in my Symbian project, I thought of how comforting is the prayer of the rosary, to have recourse to Our Lady, our most powerful intercessor.

So, in this latest build, version 1.0, I've put in some kind of identifier variable that'd automatically notify all the current users (version 1.0 onwards) if I've uploaded any updates. But it doesn't yet work for those who have downloaded the earliest version.

What's in this build? I've added two things:
1. The Litany of Loreto
2. Links to patristic reflections from Fr Z

The latter is meant to help you to reflect upon the rosary using materials Fr Z compiled from the Church Fathers' writings. All copyrights belong to him of course.

On my part, it's been encouraging to see people's comments on how beneficial they'd found the widget. Any comment or suggestion for improvement are welcome. So there it is... I'm just asking everyone who happens to see this post or use the Rosary widget, to remember to say a little prayer for me :)

Firefox add-ons woes

2008-04-09T11:44:00.004+08:00

I've settled into a comfortable relationship with Firefox—the browser of choice for most tech-minded people. (No slight to Opera and Safari fans out there!) I've even got round to uninstalling Internet Explorer on my XP machine!

Well now, what makes online life good in Firefox, apart from its inherently good qualities, are the plethora of add-ons (user-submitted extensions) that made everything accessible at a single click. Let's see:
1. del.icio.us or Digg made bookmarking a breeze at a single button click,
2. The Session Saver or the Firebug debugger (essential for web developers),
3. Scrapbook allows me to download complete pages (JavaScript and all) to make it available offline for my students,
4. IE-Tab made it possible to request and render pesky websites as Internet Explorer--which I have uninstalled on my machine,
5. DownThemAll! accelerates those huge ISO downloads,
6. Most importantly, the Adblock and NoScript made me feel invincible (almost) surfing on a malware-infested digital jungle.

Now you can imagine my consternation when one day, after one of those automatic Firefox updates (it's now at version 2.0.0.13), none of those beloved add-ons work! Need less to say I felt absolutely naked and vulnerable going to the Internet. I managed to refrain myself from getting online for a couple of hours before I realize I had to do something! Here's the problem:

The extensions are still there, but they're not loaded. When I look at the extensions in the Tools -> Add-ons menu, all of them are marked such:

This add-on will be installed when Firefox is restarted.

And restarting Firefox repeatedly does nothing. A search in Google turned up a post back in July '07 (that's donkey years ago in tech world!!!!), that recommends deleting extensions.cache from the Firefox Application Data folder. Didn't work for me. I was dreading the prospect of having to reinstall Firefox and reinstalling all the extensions.. Another search turns up these posts and they recommended deleting the three extension index files:
extensions.ini extensions.cache extensions.rdf
from the folder C:\Documents and Settings\{username}\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\{profile_salt}\, and restarting Firefox.

VERDICT: Works! I just hope the next time Firefox does auto-update, the extension disappearance and rediscovery won't be part of the routine.

In memoriam: Servant of God, John Paul II

2008-04-02T12:25:00.007+08:00

Today is the dies natalis of our beloved pope, Servant of God, John Paul II of happy memory. Here's a faithful servant, a man who let millions came into his heart, and brought them to Christ.

This video below is one of countless tribute to him, and contains many pictures of John Paul the Great that I've not seen circulated widely.

(Link here)

John Paul II, pray for us!

Et verbum caro factum est

2008-03-31T22:56:00.001+08:00

Today we celebrate (belatedly) an extraordinary event that all mankind has been waiting for: a Savior that comes and lives amongst us. On the 25th of March, the Church celebrates this Joyful Mystery better known as the Annunciation. This silent but wonderful moment marks the time the Eternal one enters into time — for sure we have prayed for a savior, and Israel its Messiah, but to be 'reduced' to an embryo forming in the womb of a young girl from nowhere... no wonder we bow (or genuflect, even) when we recite the Incarnation in the Creed. So great is God's love for us that shows through this humility of our Lord!

At a glance, the world seems to say that we do not need a Savior. And like Lois Lane wrote, in the movie of Superman Returns, a Pulitzer-winning article on why the world doesn't need a savior, many of us or 'our brothers' have yet to face the fact that we do. Because our nature is fallen, we fail to redeem ourselves despite our best intentions.

It is a great feast day in the Church for many reasons. Just as we fall in awe of the Lord's goodness in this great mystery, this feast is also an occasion to reflect upon the humility of our Lady. It has been said many times that our Lady braved death by stoning if she were to be found pregnant and unmarried.

For those contemplating a Call from the Lord, our Lady is a paragon of a disciple and a shining star in your discernment. Was there euphoria at the annunciation? Perhaps, but I'd dare say there was more trepidation than euphoria for her. Was there complete understanding? Perhaps she understood better than the rest of us, as she is without original sin, her reasoning is not darkened by sins... yet surely she couldn't have anticipated the drama of the birth in a stable in a foreign unknown city, the prophecy of Simeon at the baby's presentation, the flight to Egypt, and lastly, the bitter Passion of her Son and His humiliating death. But none of that seems to matter. No lack of euphoria nor lack of complete understanding of her call prevented her, full of grace she is, to say her Fiat. St Bernard of Clairvaux imagined the entire heaven to be looking on, cheering her though no encouragement was necessary. And the entire heaven, which held their breath, sighed with relief, I imagined, when she said Yes. To bear the plan of God required her to say Yes everyday of her life. Victory of God's plan, one can say, was sealed with her obedience.

Again, to those who are contemplating the Call, temptations that it is perhaps 'better', that one is somehow more 'effective' being married and having a great family and raising many Christian children, sometimes do come. Is it possible to dedicate oneself joyfully and totally to God, and looking at having 'spiritual children' instead? Can one live renouncing earthly love to anticipate the heavenly marriage with the Lamb? The answer is yes, "possumus!" Not because anyone on their own is so strong but because God gives the grace to answer thus. I hear a resounding affirmation in today's Gospel:

“How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”
“The Holy Spirit will come upon you... nothing will be impossible for God.”
--Luke 1:34, 37

Learning from the animals

2008-03-31T22:55:00.004+08:00

After a week of solemnity and 40 days of penance behind us, let's celebrate life's little pleasures. These animals teach us how to live 'dangerously' and have plenty of fun!

Gaude et laetare!

2008-03-25T23:24:00.005+08:00

Rejoice, O earth, in shining splendor,
radiant in the brightness of your King!
Christ has conquered! Glory fills you!
Darkness vanishes for ever!
-- from the Exultet

This year, the Alleluias sung during the Easter vigil, has got to be the sweetest, the most beautiful Alleluias I've heard in a long long time! Rejoice and be glad!

Regina caeli, laetare, alleluia;
Quia quem meruisti portare, alleluia;
Resurrexit sicut dixit, alleluia;
Ora pro nobis Deum, alleluia!
Gaude et laetare, Virgo Maria, alleluia;
Quia surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia.

Happy Easter to one and all! Rejoice and be glad!

Holy Saturday

2008-03-22T18:18:00.002+08:00

"What makes this night different from all the other nights?" -- this question is traditionally asked by the youngest member of a Jewish family during the Passover memorial meal. And for us Catholics too, we entered into the Easter Triduum asking the same question.

For forty days we have mortifed ourselves -- entered the desert, so to speak, and today, is the last day of that desert journey. It is an odd day of the calendar of the Church because today, God is not there in our tabernacles. What is a day without God? Technically of course, God is there. It's just that the second person of the Trinity, who have always been us throughout the year, is dead today.

We accompanied him in His Passion yesterday, today we await his resurrection. It's a strange day. Though we know he will rise on the third day, it doesn't make our loss any less.

In a few hours time, the first Masses of Easter Vigil would have begun. Let us await his resurrection!

Easter Triduum

2008-03-20T14:40:00.002+08:00

Have a blessed Easter Triduum!
We're almost there...

Women objectifying ourselves

2008-02-27T22:36:00.005+08:00

I realized I wrote that I won't be blogging much this Lent, but this article ("Cashing in on Nude Lindsay Photos") is something I've got to comment on. Anyone who's been on the Internet long enough and not behind work-safe/child-safe firewalls would have heard that Lindsay Lohan, former child star in several family-friendly movies, recently posed as Marilyn Monroe, emulating her famous photo shoot just six weeks before Monroe was found dead of barbiturate overdose in 1962.

I confessed that I did see the New York magazine article and photos, but what is sad is Lohan's own response and her mom's response to this whole stunt. Both women said it was an 'honor' to pose as Monroe's character. Lindsay's reported response was: "Doing a Marilyn shoot? When is that ever going to come up? It’s really an honor."

Honor? Honor??? That was my response. Are we living in such a culture where a woman getting invited to pose nude (or nearly so) for millions of audience on the Internet is deemed an honor? Come on. Never mind that many commenters left on pages showing her pictures said that she looked old for her age, and all kinds of unkind remarks.

The article about cashing in was particularly telling. Posing Marilyn-esque was deemed such an honor that apparently Lohan got NO MONEY for baring herself. The article said that Bert Stern got a 'standard fee', and the magazine's website enjoyed millions of hits (translating to a CPM of a good $15) and potentially earned hundreds of thousand dollars of (undisclosed) advertising revenue.

We are indeed in a culture where women are fighting for the right to objectify ourselves and calling it an honor! Where showing more skin means more attention and more sexual power, radical feminists speak of a woman's rights to do whatever she likes with her body, including killing children in the womb and selling naked images for free. Such an honor indeed.

Never before is our late beloved Pope's Theology of the Body more applicable. That, and more prayer!

Lenten update & the Eucharist

2008-02-26T20:09:00.002+08:00

It has been only a little bit over two weeks since Lent started, but this year it felt like forever to me. There are many things happening at work, in my family and in my spiritual life. I wish sometimes I could blog it, but I realize now that most of them should be kept private, so I'm not planning to blog any major reflection, at least not until Lent is over.

As for me, my only wish is to draw closer to our Lord this Lent. As cliched as this may sound, it hasn't been easy. For a start, daily mass—more reverent & attentive daily mass—is in order. And there is no better example to follow than that of the saints when it comes to adoring our Lord in the Eucharist, especially during the Mass. This website is one of my favorites, and I shall try to feature several 'eucharistic' saints (a euphemism, I think, since how can one be a saint without being eucharistic???) during Lent to learn how to love the Eucharist more deeply. Coming soon...

St Julian the Hospitaller

2008-02-19T16:49:00.004+08:00

This year, I did not look for a patron saint until I came across Seminarian Matthew's update about it early this month. While it's not important, it's a kind of pious habit to rely on the intercession of those who 'made it'. So I promptly asked for one and guess who picked me... St Julian the Hospitaller, also known as St Julian the Hospitalarian or St Julian the Poor.

His origin is a little obscure, some legend says he was French, some says his hospital was in Rome, some says it was near the shrine at Santiago Compostela. The Golden Legend tells an embellished tale of heroism and charity of St Julian and his wife. It goes that a beast once foretold that he would kill his own parents, so St Julian exiled himself, until one fateful day when his parents met his wife and were taking rest in his very own bedroom. Out of jealousy, he killed both his parents, thinking they were his wife and her lover. Inconsolable with remorse, he & his wife traveled to Rome, asked for pardon from the Pope and dedicated the rest of their lives in continence to serve the poor and the sick. Now that the disclaimers are dispensed with, let's get on with the tribute.

Whether or not the legend is true, St Julian (and his wife) are famous for running an inn or a hospice, taking care of poor and sick pilgrims. The same pious legend says that one night an angel of the Lord visited St Julian as a leper pilgrim, asking him to ferry him across the river to where his inn was, and at the end of St Julian's selfless service, announced God's forgiveness for his past sin. There are many churches dedicated to St Julian in Paris, France, and in Macerata, Italy.

Legend or not, this Lent it is one story has particularly inspired me about what charity truly is.

Why me?
I once read an amusing story about the business of picking patron saints. Enbrethiliel told me that we should rather, pray that a saint would pick us up into his/her patronage. Going with the latter view, I realize I couldn't ask the saint "Why did you pick me?", but I need to ask "Why did you pick me?". Through the communion of Saints, we are grateful for any kind of intercession from any fideles: living militant, suffering, or triumphant. Still the question remains: what is our connection? Is it a reminder to cultivate and exercise Charity? Well, that is one task that will be with me til the end of time! Time will tell.

Graces from attending Mass

2008-02-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

This being the first Friday of the month, I'd like to post a short note about going to Mass. Specifically, for those who are struggling to go to Mass more regularly. Three years ago, I read this devotion to the Sacred Heart in which the faithful are asked to attend 9 First Friday masses for 9 consecutive months. How I found it difficult to be faithful to such schedule.. for once you've missed a first Friday mass, the 'cycle' is broken and you have to start anew... but nothing is ever lost! Years later, I'm stil struggling, but now, to attend the Mass daily.

Just yesterday, I struggled to tear myself away from my work to make it in time for Mass. Many excuses played in my head (I'm sure some of you are familiar with them!) about why I don't have to go to Mass that day...
1. It's not an obligation
2. So what if you miss one, there's another one tomorrow...
3. Perhaps prayer is sufficient in place of going to Mass?
4. Your disposition isn't good enough for mass...
5. The bus has just left and the next one will get you to the Church late!

Then I remembered something I read just the day before about how the Mass went on in a church after a parishioner died of heart attack. While I think it's perfectly logical to carry on the Mass, the article seems to carry an indignant tone that it was not stopped to 'respect the dead'. That same blog post then copied 15 GOOD REASONS for attending Mass:

1. The Mass is Calvary continued.
2. Every Mass is worth as much as the sacrifice of our Lord's life, sufferings, and death.
3. Holy Mass is the world's most powerful atonement for your sins.
4. At the hour of death, the Masses you have heard will be your greatest consolation.
5. Every Mass will go with you to judgment and plead for pardon.
6. At Mass, you can diminish more or less temporal punishment due to your sins, according to your fervor.
7. Assisting devoutly at Holy Mass, you render to the sacred humanity of Our Lord the greatest homage.
8. He supplies for many of your negligence and omissions.
9. He forgives the venial sins which you have not confessed. The power of Satan over you is diminished.
10. One Mass heard during life will be of more benefit to you than many heard for you after your death.
11. You are preserved from dangers and misfortunes which otherwise might have befallen you. You shorten your Purgatory.
12. Every Mass wins for you a higher degree of glory in Heaven.
13. You receive the priest's blessing which Our Lord ratifies in Heaven.
14. You kneel amidst a multitude of holy angels, who are present at the adorable Sacrifice with reverential awe.
15. You are blessed in your temporal goods and affairs.

So remember good people, every Mass counts! Every Holy Mass that we miss cannot be repeated again in terms of the graces we received. I'm posting this just in case it can help anyone of you attend ONE more Holy Mass in your life :)

Feast of St Thomas Aquinas

2008-01-28T22:13:00.000+08:00

Once more the Church celebrates the feastday of St Thomas Aquinas.

Fr Z, in his podcast on the Eucharist, said that St Thomas Aquinas was specifically mentioned in the Code of Canon Law (the 1983 issue) as the one whom theologians should turn to in the study of philosophy. Such is the greatness of this Doctor of the Church and yet listening to any of his works still heard today in Benedictions of the Blessed Sacrament, "Adoro Te Devote" or "Pange Lingua", one cannot miss his unmistakeable humility and love for the Eucharist.

St Thomas is one of my favorite saints precisely because he showed that love for Truth is not, cannot be, against love for God—indeed not only they are inseparable, but love for Truth and love for God is one and the same. It is this love for truth and the great humility of his that probably made Pope St. Leo XIII designate him patron of all Catholic academic institutions throughout the world.

For an excellent introduction to this great saint, read GK Chesterton's "The Dumb Ox". If you haven't, pick it up at a library nearest you. I hope that you will either fall in love with the author, with the saint himself, or if the grace of God is strong, more deeply in love with God Himself.

Are you happy on the Internet?

2008-01-23T15:30:00.000+08:00

Does the Internet make you happy? Are there things on the Internet that make you happy? Have you stopped doing something outside the Internet simply because doing them on the Internet is the best way to do it?

HELP my friends and I find out more about how youth (16 - 30 years old) feel about activities that you can do on the Internet. In order to participate in this 7-MINUTE survey, you need to be a STUDENT between the age of 16 to 30. You can be a high school student, college student or graduate student ANYWHERE.

We're participating in a small research project to study behavior and opinion about the Internet in general.

The link to the survey is here.

Since the survey intends to study about the youths in general, please pass this on to your friends who are STUDENTS between 16-30 years of age. Thank You! I'll post the result in a month's time.

Belated Epiphany

2008-01-11T20:00:00.000+08:00

To tell the truth, I often prefer Advent over Christmas. Now, I know that Christmas is a great feast and that the magnitude of this mystery is the reason why the faithful prepare ourselves for its celebration for several weeks before the D-Day, known as the Advent period. Yet, Advent mirrors our life of journey and waiting, but Christmas... (I think) no one who is still alive can ever experience the fullest meaning of Christmas. For me it bode eternal salvation, which obviously, we cannot yet experience here.

This Christmas has been one full of struggles personally. The year 2007 has been an intense year, and I struggled to 'sync' my ups and downs with the rhythm of the Church's liturgical calendar, trying to introduce a drop of sensus Ecclesiae into my life. In a way, I imagine it felt very much like what the three Magi must have gone through in their journey to look for the Child.

'Vidimus stellam eius'
The star beckons the three wise men, just like God's call beckons. Along the way, perhaps sometimes they lost sight of the star, perhaps sometimes the terrain was hard-going; such that following a star from a distant land seems, to a rational mind, like a touch of summer madness. But left their palace they did. And so did I.

'et venimus adorare eum'
While the 3 magi did find the Child, I'm still on my journey. At this stage I must say it hasn't been too bad, but there had been moments of wariness and doubt. Doubt that the star wasn't some figment of my imagination. Doubt that what the star signifies is worth leaving my palace for. Doubt that I can find Christ at the end of the journey and not be distracted by curiosity in foreign lands.

I'm currently reading "The Tremendous Lover" by Eugene Boylan. In the first few chapters, he explored the theme of Redemption, and what will be at the end: [one] Christ loving Himself. I found a little 'epiphany' in Boylan's attempt to show the glory of God who is omniscient, of God who knows all things to come, and the outcome of all possibilities. And yet, His preference to let mankind live outside Paradise, suffering the consequence of the original sin, who were later redeemed by the Passion of His Son, must imply that (humanly speaking) amongst all possibilities, He sees that this universe, with its suffering, is the best way to restore the dignity and the glory of His creation. Meditating upon this 'choice' of universe, His choice of allowing us to suffer and become co-operators in our own redemption, I can say safely that I will never comprehend His scheme of things in this lifetime. Wherefore does this lead me?

While reading about classical argument for the existence of God, this question crossed my mind: can earnest employment of reason lead us astray? Just what does a Christian have that an agnostic (for agnosticisim is the best conclusion an erroneous reason could lead to) could not have in life? Hope. Hope that there is more for our souls than what earthly tribulation exacts from our bodies. A skeptic could say, if there is God, He has a funny way of introducing Himself. Why allow evil to exist in the world when He is omnipotent and could have easily got rid of it? But God's folly is greater than our wisdom. His ways are not ours, and God's logic, saves us at the end.

"Glory to God in the highest; and on earth peace to men of good will."

2007-12-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

"For, this day, is born to you a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord, in the city of David." -- Luke 2:11

Merry Christmas to everyone! (I'm going home!)

Back from Vietnam

2007-12-17T11:37:00.001+08:00

Back from Ho Chi Mih City last night...

(All pictures courtesy of my friends —these are from KT— because I took no camera there!) More to come soon.

Going on a holiday, sort of

2007-12-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'm off to Vietnam tomorrow morning for a week. Be back with more pictures and stories!

Drawing lines

2007-12-03T23:27:00.000+08:00

This evening, browsing Google News, I clicked on a story headline simply because its title is so arresting: "Bush got it right on stem cells". Before this evening, I did not know who is Charles Krauthammer, the author of the story; so I didn't know whether he falls under the 'conservative', 'neocon' or 'leftist' inclination, but the title itself is simply provocative. It is very rare to hear President Bush being praised for anything these days.

In the last few weeks, anyone who's watching the bioethics field, or is simply curious about the latest scientific breakthrough, must have heard of some wonderful news about IPS cells (induced pluripotent stem cells)—which are essentially stem cells that did not come from embryos and therefore did not involve killing of anyone.

Soon after this breaking news, there came another piece of even better news: IPS cells that were not created using a protooncogene, which earlier was used and was feared to induce cancer in the subjects.

Since I'm not American and do not pay taxes to the US, I have no comments regarding her president; only that Bush was right to make the stem cell issue a moral issue and draw a line. The Catholic Church, whose teaching I subscribe to, is unambiguous on this issue: life begins at conception, therefore harvesting stem cells from embryos is equivalent to killing of innocent lives, always an intrinsically grave evil.

While Krauthammer himself is in favor of a more 'liberal' policy on ESC research, he rightly pointed out that the slope is very slippery. He reiterated the need to draw a firm line, and pointed the dubious examples of 'populist' politicians who kept continuously re-drawing and 'retreating' their positions. If nothing else, Bush earned a place in American history through this one policy.

What, thought, what if, the IPS breakthrough had not come about? Prior to them, there have always been other sources of "adult" stem cells, such as those that are obtained from umbilical cord blood cells. Bottomline is, no good end can ever justify evil means.

Friendship just isn't what it used to be...

2007-12-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

... in fact, Anthony Esolen proclaimed it dead here.

Since the topic of friendship is still fresh in my mind, this brilliant article pinpointed exactly at what's ailing our friendships today and struck a chord. He warned about the loss of friendship, especially amongst men today. Genuine, affectionate friendship has become a victim to political correctness that changes the semantics of the communal language we use in the society. Gone are the days where men form friendships like Sam and Frodo, or King David and Jonathan.

No doubt about this: If you are a modern man, a half-man, many such ideas and loves have already died in you. For as much as you can admire them wistfully, from a half-understanding distance, you can be neither Frodo nor Sam, nor the man who created them. You dare not follow Agassiz, alone, to the Arctic. You will not weep for Jonathan. You once were acquainted with Enkidu, but that was all. Do not even mention John the Apostle.

While my short reflection about friendship doesn't run along the same thread as Esolen's, I realize that many times, our "lack of availability" stems precisely from a distorted notion of friendship and ultimately, of ourselves. During my teenage days, there were those amongst my friends who suddenly became 'unavailable' because they fancied themselves in love with the person they started 'going steady' with. Everyone else in the world is expendable except for that (current) special one, and friendship suffers as a result:

The libertinism of our day thrusts boys and girls together long before they are intellectually and emotionally ready for it, and at the same time the defiant promotion of homosexuality makes the natural and once powerful friendships among boys virtually impossible.

Go read the entire article here.

Friendship: that bittersweet cup

2007-11-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

Friendship, is a notion that I took so much for granted that frankly, at this point of time, I cannot remember what it should mean. What does friendship mean? What does being a friend entail? Many times the mention of "Friend" leaves me cold, or jaded, or cynical. How many times do we say "friend" to conceal a more particular nature of our relationship with someone (whether it means closer or further)? For me, too many times.

I guess the reason why I wrote this post is that, being in friendship is not easy. Two reasons: expectations and fragility.

I recall with some sadness, several occasions when I had been let down, very much let down, by people whom I thought were friends. Part of this, naturally, has got to do with mismatched expectation. For a certain friend, being friends means you just have to be available 24/7 whenever they need a shoulder to cry on. For others, that's too much to ask even in a close friendship. In my better moments, I thought to myself, that if _that_ much (or rather, that little) is all that person has got to offer me, I'll take it up gladly anyway. "Give until it hurts," Mother Teresa once said, and nowhere do I feel this more keenly than in some friendships.

After all, it's not easy being a good friend! Another thing I associate with friendship, is both always having to, and, being able to say sorry! I have lost count of how many times I have to precede a conversation with "Sorry", simply because life or some other Passing Interest in my life, had taken up so much time that I forget this or that particular friend for many months or even years... So, for each time that I feel disappointed with a friend, I remind myself that there must be many more friends I am disappointing!

Few "self-improvement" atention is paid to developing friendships.. it is as if the world takes it for granted that everyone innately knows how to make and sustain friendships. Magazines publish articles on how to succeed better at your workplace, how to eat better, how to shop better, but hardly anything on how to be better friends. Perhaps it's true that as children we make friends naturally, but adult life definitely takes toll on friendship; and without much attention paid to our friendships, perhaps someday we may literally wake up to find we don't have real friends.

Another reason for this thread of thought, is that our life very much depends on our friendship with God. Even this relationship gets neglected in the same way that I decribe my neglect of mortal friends. How we treat our friendships is a reflection of how we treat our friendship with God. May there not be a day where we meet Our Lord and found that He does not recognize us as His friends!

Waiting in hope

2007-11-26T16:09:00.000+08:00

My favorite liturgical season is about to start, we've just celebrated the feast of Christ the King, and there are just a few days before Advent is here. I used to think that Advent 'snucks' up on us, catching us unaware of how fast the year has gone by before Christmas arrives, and a new year follows. Often lost in the pervasive Christmas-y decorations that have gone up in department stores way before Advent is even here, is the idea that Advent is a period of waiting.

From the Old Testament, we learn that our elder brothers in faith, the Jews, are people who knows the meaning of waiting. From Abraham, who waited until his old age to see the Lord's promise of innumerable descendants, to the Isralites under the yoke of Egyptian slavery, to those who wander (and perish) in the desert for 40 years before they set their sight on the promised land, the Jews are People who wait, a People of hope. And so are we, the people who live after our Lord entered time, we are a people who hope to see behold His countenance one day.

In our daily lives, there are many moments when we hope and long for the arrival of something: birth of a child, liberation from tyranny, recovery from a long sickness, or even, an end to a long, arduous project at work. It is in these moments that we labor to bring Christ into the world. In yesterday's feast, we are reminded that Christ is King, and His kingdom, while not of this world, is in this world, and we, His soldiers, need to conquer ourselves to spread His kingdom. It makes no sense to suffer, to sacrifice and to love, if we are not people of Hope. Christ had come to redeem us, and Christ will come again.

Every year Advent comes upon us, reliving the anticipation of the drama of Incarnation, where God truly becomes one of us. Isn't this Truth something that all human heart secretly longs for? Saints lead their entire lives in anticipation, and sometimes they even lead a foretaste of an eternal life with God, where our souls no longer suffer under the yoke of the world's trials, where God wipes every tear from our faces.

Let us contemplate the humility and the majesty of our God who enter into our life as a mere child; He who could appear anywhere, anytime as anyone, chose not to reveal His glory, but to live His own obscure Advent for thirty years! Every Advent we are reminded of the ethereal nature of our lives here on earth, and it is but one lifelong Advent period to prepare for the coming of God into our lives.

(Written for a newsletter)

Random Quiz

2007-11-21T17:39:00.000+08:00

Though I'm thousands of (genetic) miles away from being European, this quiz is fun, although its outcome is unexpected!

Your Inner European is Russian!

Mysterious and exotic.

You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Who's Your Inner European?

Windows woes (part 2)

2007-11-07T04:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't felt this exasperated in many years. I've never banged my head harder than I did tonight trying to install a little application onto a Windows Mobile smartphone device.

"What does every mobile developer ultimately want to do?" Simple question, simple answer: "To get the application to run on the phone". It took me hours of poring through MSDN's documentations and technical articles to find out just HOW exactly to do that.

Alphabet Soup
"CAB", "INF", ActiveSync, are some of the terms thrown around liberally in the developers' articles. As if everybody knows what they mean. I don't know what a CAB is, I don't know why only a CAB file can install the app on the phone, and I don't know how do I make a CAB out of my executable. The only reason why I started searching for the keyword "CAB" was because I happened to remember that a year ago, that's what a colleague of mine used to run his Windows Mobile app. Now, if only these three simple questions can be answered in the same article, I think MSFT is justified paying good salaries to their technical writers.

Instead, here I am writing in frustration at 4AM in the morning because the documentation is so fragmented and the information design obfuscated! I really don't want to nitpick, but I'd think that since on-device deployment is a common goal for all developers, creating a CAB project would be a highlighted task/feature in Visual Studio 2005. But no, to create a CAB project, you have to add another project into your existing Project, and on top of that, select it from "Other Project Types"!

Frankly I was impressed the first time I saw the collection of documentation and technical articles available at MSDN website, but very soon it's clear quantity certainly does not trump over quality.

The last hop
Getting the app to the device, after a frustrating battle to generate a CAB file, was jumping through another set of hoops. 'Impressive' was my first reaction when I saw how many delivery mechanisms Windows Mobile support for the app installation: SMS/Email/Cab Installer/ActiveSync/Push SMS, you name it. After another wild goose chase trying to find out what is ActiveSync, and whether it ships with the SDK, and whether I really need to install it, it took another half hour to figure out what is the best way of getting the device 'online' and getting it to access the CAB file.

Needless to say, I did manage to install the app and that's why I am writing this now. But the tears of blood may not be worth it.

Some tech updates

2007-11-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

This blog hits 10,000 visits yesterday! I can't remember when the site traffic meter was first put in, perhaps some 2 years ago, but still... it's a reminder of how long it's been here, since August 2003!

On other news, I've got an announcement that in the tech world may be seen as nothing short of an apostasy: I started developing software on Microsoft .NET! *Gasp* *Choke* Well, to be fair I had evaluated all my choices and it came down to economics. So a potential client came up to us and asked us to do a Windows Mobile client job. The price was good and we said yes.

So I spent the last few days trying to install the various Microsoft animals that are required to get the IDE and the SDK up and running. Let me write here briefly what I had to do (just in case I ever need to do this again... I sure hope I don't have to!)

Install Visual Studio 2005 (15 minutes)
Explore the IDE, find out just what can it do... (20 minutes)
Complete a little application in half hour's time (30 minutes)
Choose the target mobile platform (Smartphone 2003 / PocketPC 2003 / choose your animal) (1 minute)
Build the project, run into a strange error (0.5 minute)
It says .NET 1.1 is required (hmm.. what is that?) (0.5 day gone)
Try to install .NET 1.1 Framework.... run into error! (1 day is gone)
Google search says .NET 1.1 Redistributable Framework needs to be installed
Try to install .NET 1.1 Redistributable framework... run into error! Even worse than before, because it was not a documented known issue (1 day is gone)
Another Google search says that it's a known issue with Vista! (darn.. don't they all come from the same company??!!) and that the workaround is to do the following with .NET 1.1 SP1 (are you telling me .NET Framework needs a Service Pack too???):1. Download Microsoft .NET Framework 1.1 Redistributable Package and Microsoft .NET Framework 1.1 Service Pack 1 using links below: * Microsoft .NET Framework 1.1 Redistributable Package * Microsoft .NET Framework 1.1 Service Pack 1 2. Save both installations in the same directory 3. Ensure that the Microsoft .NET Framework 1.1 Redistributable Package is named dotnetfx.exe. If not, change its name to dotnetfx.exe. 4. Ensure that Microsoft .NET Framework 1.1 Service Pack 1 is named dotnetfxsp1.exe. If not, change its name to dotnetfxsp1.exe. 5. Open command prompt as Administrator, and change to the directory where the two installations are saved. 6. Run the following commands using the order shown below * dotnetfx.exe /c:"msiexec.exe /a netfx.msi TARGETDIR=C:\dotnet" * dotnetfxsp1.exe /Xp:C:\dotnet\netfxsp.msp * msiexec.exe /a c:\dotnet\netfx.msi /p c:\dotnet\netfxsp.msp 7. Install both Microsoft .Net Framework 1.1 and Service Pack 1 by running C:\dotnet\netfx.msi
After a few days of troubleshooting, fully expecting that these animals won't get along, suddenly the same project compiles beautifully! TA-DA!

By this time, I have come to realize that the price quoted was fully justified -- the IDE installation process alone was painful enough. Welcome to Microsoftville *evil cackle*

Universal widget?

2007-11-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

I was not quite convinced when I saw this heading "Universal Widget", but that's what NetVibes claims they were doing with their open widget platform. They claim they support these widget platforms currently:
- netvibes
- Mac dashboard
- iGoogle
- Opera
- Windows Vista
- Windows Live
- (coming soon) Yahoo!

If this is true, it's too good to be true! Prior to making the two widgets, I had deliberated between iGoogle and Yahoo! platforms, because their user demographics seem quite exclusive (non-overlapping). Now it seems it'll be possible to port them for different platforms using similar (if not single), codebase.

Communion of saints

2007-10-31T11:34:00.000+08:00

For many years, the Communion of saints is a Catholic concept that is probably one of the hardest things to understand for me, a convert. To me, from observing many cradle-Catholic friends of mine, the communion of saints means, roughly, praying to St Anthony for a certain kind of intention, St Jude to another kind of intention, going to novenas, visiting the shrines of our Lady for all sorts of special intentions, etc. What often came to my mind is a picture of old ladies clutching prayer cards and rosaries, and occasionally, physical penance carried out to 'bargain' with the saints for their intercession. Their piety amaze and move me, but really, is it necessary?

I suppose I did not much understand this because my life frankly, has not been one where much bargaining for divine intercession is needed. There were many ups and downs, but I trust that God knows better what's good for us than we do ourselves.

Fast forward to the present day, I share an apartment with a cradle Catholic from the Philippines, and made friends with many other cradle Catholics from traditionally Catholic countries. They expose me to these heretofore alien pious practices. And many intercessions, invocations, devotions, and Marian pilgrimages later, I realize that it has helped me form a habit to pray for other people's intentions and needs. I also realize that means I can ask many more people to pray for my intentions. It is strange for me today if there are nobody's intentions to pray for... and if friends ask me, a lowly member of the Church militant and a sinner, to pray for their intentions, why can't we turn to the saints and holy souls to intercede for us? For the petitions of the just surely carry more merit in heaven...

Through other means I have also 'discovered' the communion of saints. Since I started reading Catholic blogs, there have been so many new acquaintances made, and so many people and intentions to pray for. Two years ago, I found out that one of the twins (of Angry Twins) was about to enter the monastery and began praying for him. And the blogger formerly known as Moneybags, have also entered the seminary this fall. And the blogger who's praying for the safety of a baby in threat of being aborted. And the blogger who's praying that the San Diego fire may not harm a monastery nearby. There are many other examples through which I realize that the communion of saints is so REAL.

Today, for instance, I read a lovely story about Kate's grandfather who recently passed away and whom she remembered especially for his famous butter cinnamon toast. I don't know who Kate is, I don't know who her grandpa is, and I've never eaten cinnamon toast before... but from now on, I'll remember them in prayer whenever I eat cinnamon toast. Isn't the communion of saints beautiful?

Catholic+Linux+Monkey

Quo vadis?

Javierada

Waiting this advent

Misdiagnosed PVS for 23 years

Cada vida importa (17 Oct)

Short Update: Prayerbook now in ITALIANO, DEUTSCH & RUSSIAN

Open-Source Math Tool: Sage

iPhone scare: black screen

How to explain yourself when asked about abortion

Aquí nació

The changing tide

iPhone versions are here!

In the footsteps of a saint

In defense of employers

This is frustrating...

Tortilla de patatas, at last!

iViaCrucis - now for iPhone!

A little adventure: porting from J2ME to iPhone

Easter people, Easter mission!

Through the looking glass, darkly

A perfectly ordinary day

I didn't know I could make money praying!

Aborted babies as organ donors anyone?

Rosary Widget: crossing a milestone!

A note from the desert

For the Holy Father...

"What to Do if Your Startup Is Failing"

Relaunching Catholic Mobile Prayerbook

What is it?

Why would I need Catholic Mobile Prayerbook?

What prayers are available inside?

What languages is it available in?

"Remember you are dust..."

So your child has a vocation...

A road to Damascus

Omnia cooperantur in bonum

4 SSPX bishops "Un-Excommunicated"!!!

Hot off the 'oven'

What is Catholic Mobile Prayerbook?

Why would I need Catholic Mobile Prayerbook?

What prayers are available inside?

What languages is it available in?

Does Prayerbook support my phone?

How do I install it?

How big is it?

It says installation was successful but I can't find it!

How much does it cost?

Why do I have to pay?

Download Section

Single Language (USD$1.99)

Two Languages (USD$3.00)

All Languages (USD$5.00)

Learning Tip: document your steps!

Rogate!

Review: The Soul of the Apostolate

Is Christ in my city? Is Christ in my country?

'Twas the night before Christmas...

Break from 'serious' blogging

Adult stem cells for animals?

The Immaculate Conception: our bearer of hope!

The Pope's Message for Advent

Review: Victory Over Vice

Novena to the Immaculate Conception

BBC puzzles over why "many" are "keeping babies with Down's"

Pride & Sloth

Ave Christus Rex!

Preparing for Advent: Victory Over Vice

Honoring Flash

Your Faith or Your Life?

Pope Benedict XVI on the Rosary

You only need to succeed once...

Defending Cathedral of Neuquen, Argentina

Of monkeys and men

Dark night in plainspeak

New, non-invasive prenatal testing method

Mobile rosary anyone?

Another advance in iPS research!

I'm seeing stars

Gratia plena